The Vow
by Lunabeegood
Summary: Set after Terra Prime with Trip and T'Pol married and visiting another planet for their honeymoon. An explosion occurs and T'Pol loses her memory from the last four years-will Trip convince her they are in love? An AU exploration of their relationship.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: I watched The Vow…nuff said. It's an AU story where T'Pol's parents are alive and takes place after Terra Prime by about eight months. Paramount owns the rights, I make nothing. If you read it, review it!

XXX

Trip Tucker was walking behind T'Pol in the market, a sack of vegetables slung over his shoulder.

"They've got some of those purple root vegetables over there!" He called to her as he pointed in the direction of another stand.

She nodded in the direction he pointed and walked toward the stand. They were on Leave on Mercuio Seven and enjoying every minute of their time together. It was a honeymoon of sorts, their first time alone and off Enterprise since they married privately. They hadn't shared their news with many and besides Jon and the senior staff, they had decided to keep it quiet. Trip still felt a little guilty about not telling his parents, but they would be on Earth in a few months and he'd be able to tell them in person.

When he finally caught up with her, she had already purchased the vegetables and was looking at a nearby stand that was selling some clay pottery.

"Not much use for a serving dish on board," Trip said over her shoulder as she admired the tray.

"I was thinking it might be a smart purchase for my parents," T'Pol said as she met his eyes. "It will help if we come with a gift."

"They know we're married already," Trip said with a smirk. "You think a clay tray is going to smooth things over?"

T'Pol arched an eyebrow in his direction.

"Maybe we need a bigger tray?" Trip chuckled as he kissed the side of her face.

T'Pol elbowed him gently in the ribs and leaned over. "How much for this?"

Trip could feel her tight ass rub up against his pelvis and he groaned audibly.

"Darlin'" he said softly.

T'Pol looked over her shoulder and winked at him; she knew exactly what she was doing.

They had been on Mercuio for five days and tonight was their last night; T'Pol had insisted on making a nice dinner for them. The majority of the Enterprise crew was stationed in another town, so they had enjoyed a private honeymoon without prying eyes. It had been a wonderful time spent mostly in bed; her suggesting she make dinner had forced them out of their happy little apartment for the first time in three days.

"Buy it if you think it will help," Trip said as he eyed a stand of scarves on a raised stand across the market. The golden one would look gorgeous against her bronze skin. "I'll be right back."

Trip walked across the market square and toward the stand.

'It'll be nice,' he thought. 'To start living together after they board Enterprise. A man could get used to waking up with T'Pol each morning.'

Some modifications were made to T'Pol's quarters on Enterprise while they were away and everyone who didn't know they were married, soon would. In fact, Trip was sure, rumors were probably running rampant on board with them staying together and the modifications being made.

They'd been married for two weeks and had been living between their two rooms, but Jon had suggested a change was in order, and Trip had agreed to it in no time flat. The modifications to T'Pol's quarters were a surprise for her; her quarters bordered a storage locker that added another 6 square metres to their living space, it was still small for two people, but larger than either of their cabins.

"Can I see the gold one?" Trip asked as he pointed to the beautiful scarf hanging on a hook. "How much?"

He fingered the soft material and pictured himself tying it around her hair while she looked up at him.

Trip stole a glance at T'Pol who was patiently waiting for her platter to get wrapped against damage and then back at the man who ran the stall.

"Hem figgets," he said with a thick accent. Trip quickly calculated the conversion in his head and nodded; the scarf for his wife was worth the sixty dollars.

As he turned to hand the man his figgets Trip was thrown to the ground by an explosion across the market. The booth he was standing at fell onto him and it took him several moments before he re-gained consciousness. The ringing in his ears was deafening and there were some particles in his eyes that stung. His back was damaged, and he felt something jutting out of his leg. Trip crawled out from under the rubble and looked around. The marketplace was chaos and the place where T'Pol had last been was a wreck. He hobbled toward where she should be, climbing over debris and people without thought.

"T'Pol?!" He screamed, his voice weak and his throat torn. "T'Pol!"

Trip got to where he thought there should be a stand and looked around; she had been much closer to the blast than he had. He couldn't feel her through their bond and that scared the daylights out of him.

He called her name again and again with his scratchy voice and started to pull debris off the ground in hopes he could find her safely trapped under something. He heard someone screaming from underneath a pile and started to pull market items, wood, brick and god knows what else away; he was sure it sounded like T'Pol's voice. When he got to the bottom it was a young girl, no more than fifteen, crawling toward him on her hands and knees, grateful he'd helped her and there, laying behind her, was T'Pol unconscious.

XXX

"I don't under…" Trip said as he watched the doctors work on T'Pol and appear to ask him questions. He had lost his universal translator in the blast and had no idea what anyone was saying about his wife.

"Jyeb quinowey?" the doctor or nurse kept saying to him. It sounded like a question, but Trip wasn't sure.

"Please just help her!" Trip called to the doctor. "Anything you can do. She's Vulcan and...do you have experience with Vulcans?"

He paced back and forth running his hand through his hair as he watched them take some sort of readings.

"Jyeb quinowey?" She asked again.

"I. don't. understand!" Trip articulated to the doctor.

"Jyeb quinowey?" She asked yet again, more forcefully this time as she held some sort of device over T'Pol's body.

"I don't…" Trip started again.

"She wants to know if T'Pol is pregnant," Hoshi Sato's voice called out as she walked into the room.

"Hoshi! Thank god!" Trip gasped as he turned to face her flabbergasted.

"Is she pregnant?" Hoshi asked Trip.

"No," Trip replied confused. "Not…not that I know of. Uh, no, no she wouldn't be."

"Liuuenwq," Hoshi replied to the doctor.

The doctor nodded and immediately started to direct her nurses to work on T'Pol. She attached the device to T'Pol's abdomen and liquid began to pump into her.

"What…what are they doing to her?" Trip asked Hoshi.

"Hffrew lippr juew tanklw hi-kiwqag?" Hoshi asked for him.

The doctor replied back quickly and pushed Trip out of the way so she could continue to work.

"It sounds like she's got internal damage," Hoshi started. "Pvew Cyulie?"

The doctor spoke extensively to Hoshi while Trip looked between the two of them hoping the news was good.

"They are worried about her intestines and one of her heart valves," Hoshi explained. "There's some swelling in her brain and they are placing her in a coma so…"

"A coma?!" Trip snapped. "Why the hell…?"

"I think it's for her protection," Hoshi said as she looked at him worried.

"For her…?"

"Trip, just calm down, they're doing everything they can," Hoshi said as she grasped his hand in hers. "When we heard there was an explosion Captain Archer sent a team down right away."

"Who else is here?" Trip asked Hoshi.

"Malcolm is securing the area and…" Hoshi started.

"She's lost a lot of blood," Trip said absently as he watched his wife.

"It usually looks like more than it is," Hoshi said softly.

"Phlox?" Trip asked.

"We're trying to locate him," Hoshi offered. "He was hiking."

Trip huffed and craned his neck to look over a doctor's shoulder.

A bunch of monitors started to beep around T'Pol and the medical team suddenly started to wheel her out of the room.

"Wait! What? Where are they going?" Trip called after them.

"Bpitor?!" Hoshi called after them as Trip and she followed the medical team.

XXX

"You really should eat," Jon said as he clapped Trip on the shoulder.

"I'm fine," Trip said from someplace buried in his hands.

"I'll stay with her while you…" Jon started again.

"Please stop," Trip groaned.

Jon huffed loudly and started to pace between Trip's seat and the small window.

"How much longer do they expect she'll stay in the coma?" Jon inquired.

"The swelling is down so they've dialed down the meds and she can come out of it anytime," Trip said as he sat up slightly and took T'Pol's limp hand in his. He was wearing some new clothes Jon had brought him and had showered, but days of beard growth was starting to itch and annoy him. He hadn't left T'Pol's side for more than a washroom break in days.

"Have you contacted her parents?" Jon asked.

"I sent a message three days ago and I haven't heard back," Trip said softly.

Jon looked at him confused. He was surprised T'Pol's parents hadn't replied when their daughter was in such critical shape.

"You need to sleep," Jon said softly as he looked at Trip.

"I need to see if she'll wake up before I can lay down myself," Trip groaned as he stretched his back. "'Sides I get fifty winks every hour or so. This chair and I are best friends now."

Just then, T'Pol's monitors started to beep. Trip looked at her expectantly and Jon took a few steps closer to them.

"T'Pol?" Trip asked softly as he leaned into her slightly.

Jon and Trip watched as nothing happened.

"Must just be…" Jon started.

Trip turned to look at him and nod, but, when he looked back at T'Pol she was laying there with her eyes open.

"T'Pol," he sighed as he picked up her hand and leaned forward a little farther.

She pulled her hand back from his and looked at him confused.

"How are you feeling?" Trip asked.

"I have a headache," T'Pol explained as she looked toward the Captain and attempted to sit up slightly.

"Whoa, wait a second there," Trip said as he stood and gently put his hand on her shoulder to keep her from rising further.

T'Pol pulled back from him and knitted her brows together.

"T'Pol?" Trip asked, surprised by her actions.

"Commander, please stop handling me," T'Pol said annoyed.

"Commander?" Trip chuckled. "That coma has given you quite the sense of humor. I know I look a little mountain man but…"

T'Pol looked at Jon confused.

"T'Pol?" Jon asked as he stepped toward her. "Is something the matter?"

"I don't understand why I'm here or why Commander Tucker is so concerned for my well-being," T'Pol explained.

"Concerned with your well-being?" Trip asked astonished.

"Why am I here?" T'Pol asked Captain Archer, ignoring Trip.

"You were shopping in a market and there was an explosion," Jon explained calmly as he looked at her. "You've been in the hospital for four days and…"

"Why am I not on board Enterprise? Where is Phlox?" T'Pol asked, alarmed.

"Phlox was here earlier, he just left a half hour ago and…" Trip started.

"What planet is this?" T'Pol asked annoyed as she ignored Trip and sat up more fully.

"You really shouldn't…" Trip started as he lunged forward at her.

T'Pol pulled away from him and gave him a dirty look.

"Darlin'?" Trip asked, confused.

"Please refer to me as Sub-Commander," T'Pol said primly. "I am not interested in human nicknames."

"T'Pol?" Trip asked, still confused.

"You are on Mercuio Seven," Archer explained as he eyed T'Pol suspiciously. "What is the last thing you remember?"

T'Pol looked at him seriously. "I was on board Enterprise and in my quarters. I was composing a personal communication to the family of my fiancé, Koss."

"What?!" Trip gasped.

T'Pol looked at him annoyed.

"I'm sorry, you don't…don't remember anything after that? P'Jem? The Expanse? Elizabeth? US?" Trip asked, his voice loud.

T'Pol looked between him and Archer confused.

"What's the approximate star date?" Jon asked T'Pol

"If it has been four days that I have been unconscious, then it is September 13, 2151," T'Pol said assuredly.

Trip looked at her confused and upset. He ran his hand through his hair and turned his back to her, trying to calm down before he spoke again.

"T'Pol," Archer said as he stepped closer to her. "It's August 5, 2155."

T'Pol looked at him confused and noted when Commander Tucker turned around she could feel an odd connection to him in her mind; it was faint, but he was trying to reach her somehow.

Commander Tucker was looking at her so intently T'Pol couldn't take her eyes off him. There was laughter at the back of her mind, a soft…touch. Immediately, T'Pol closed her mind to these thoughts and sat up straighter.

"You felt me there!" Trip said excitedly. "I saw it on your face."

"I assure you, Commander, you merely saw confusion," T'Pol explained. "How is it that I cannot remember four years?"

"T'Pol," Trip said as he sat on the side of her bed and took her hand in his. "The memories are there, you just need to access them and…and then things will be fine."

"You are behaving as if we are more than colleagues," T'Pol noted awkwardly.

"We're…we're married," Trip said as he watched her face for any kind of reaction. There was none. "We are bond-mates and…"

"Impossible," T'Pol said as she pulled her hand from his grasp. "I would never bond with a human. I am engaged to Koss and…"

The hurt expression on Trip's face was not lost on Captain Archer.

"T'Pol," Jon said as he placed a hand on Trip's shoulder. "I can assure you that you and Trip are married. I performed the ceremony myself three weeks ago on Enterprise. You are also no longer with the High Command, but a Starfleet officer. And you…you and Trip have been together for a while now."

"Just over a year and a half," Trip supplied, his voice betraying his nervousness. "We have had some ups and downs…but things started, romantically, about a year and a half ago. We were really good friends before that, though."

"Impossible," T'Pol said as she pulled the sheet covering her up her lap a little farther. "Is this some type of human practical joke? I wish to see a doctor."

A machine nearby started to beep eratically and Trip looked at it alarmed.

"Honey, don't excite yourself or…" Trip said as he cupped her shoulder.

T'Pol jerked away from him and the machines started to beep even louder.

"I want to see a doctor, now," T'Pol said angrily.

Just then, a medical team came into the room and before T'Pol could speak with them or ask questions, some fluid was injected into her and she fell back onto the bed, unconscious.

"What did you do to her?!" Trip demanded.

"She was agitated and causing further damage," the doctor said through the universal translator. "She needs to remain calm and rested."

"She doesn't remember the last four years!" Trip said loudly.

"Trip," Jon attempted to calm him.

"No, Jon!" Trip snapped at his friend. "This is…I want T'Pol back. Where's my wife?"

XXX


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: Please see notes in the first chapter.

XXX

"So, she will get her memory back?" Trip asked as he sat calmly in the doctor's office. He too had been given a sedative to calm down.

"Possibly," the doctor said as she looked at T'Pol's file.

Trip turned to look at Phlox for more answers.

"Head injuries are…unpredictable," Phlox explained. "Time will tell."

"Time…" Trip mumbled.

"Can…is there anything that can be done to trigger her memories?" Jon asked as he leaned toward the doctor's desk.

"Getting back to the life she knew before the accident would help," Phlox explained as the Mercuio doctor nodded her head in agreement.

"Routines are important," the Mercuio doctor added.

"So back to Enterprise?" Trip asked, hopeful.

"Back to what her life was like prior to the accident," the Mercuio doctor agreed. "Phlox will monitor her, but there's no reason why she cannot function in her job."

"T'Pol received all her training prior to the accident so I don't question her faculties in that sense," Jon hedged. "But as a person, she has grown and changed from our encounters with other life forms, our close calls and…"

"She will adapt," Phlox coaxed. "And who knows? She could have her memory back in a few days, or hours, for that matter."

"Hours," Trip said softly as he looked at T'Pol's file sitting on the doctor's desk on a PADD. "May I?"

"Of course," the doctor said as she offered the PADD to Trip.

Everyone sat in silence as he looked through it. Whole minutes passed while Phlox and Jon exchanged looks and the doctor sat placidly watching Trip.

"Her scans indicate the swelling has disappeared," Trip noted. "And the signs of concussion have all but vanished."

"Besides some bruising and her broken arm, she's in good health," the Mercuio doctor smiled at Trip.

Trip tapped the PADD and started to read again.

"What area of the brain is responsible for memory?" Trip asked as he looked at a map of her brain.

"The limbic system," Phlox said. "It is the area we know the least about still, so understanding long term damage is…not precise."

Trip nodded and tapped the PADD a few more times.

"When can she come back to Enterprise?" Jon asked, breaking the silence.

"Our best estimate is two days," the Mercuio doctor said.

"And she will be…?" Jon started.

"It says here that she's not on birth control," Trip interrupted as he looked at the file. "She was though, I saw her take it myself, once a month."

"We found evidence of birth control in her system but, when interviewed, she insisted she was not sexually active, as she was not married," the doctor said kindly.

"Well she is, married, that is," Trip said under his breath.

"Understand Mr. Tucker, that this is a huge adjustment for her," the doctor explained. "In her mind and memory, it's four years ago. I'm not sure what your relationship was like then but…"

"Not good," Trip huffed.

"Was that around the time you read her mail? That you threatened to kill her from the pollen?" Jon inquired.

"Uh, yeah," Trip said as he wiped across his forehead.

"Christ," Jon muttered under his breath.

"Doc, what else can we do to get her to remember?" Trip asked, ignoring the ramifications of a four-year lapse in memory.

"Daily routines," Phlox said. "Maybe some pictures, some things to read, stories others may share…"

Trip nodded as his mind raced for ideas to get her to remember.

"She'll remember," Jon said as he softly patted Trip on the back.

"I wonder if she remembers my advice to not marry Koss?" Trip asked his friend.

"You advised her back then?" Jon asked, surprised.

"She asked," Trip explained. "Because I had already read her communication with Koss, she felt it best to not include others, so she asked me what I thought. I told her she seemed to like being on board Enterprise and she should make up her own mind about who she wants to marry. I'm not sure if her memory includes that. Because she did take my advice and called it off with Koss. Christ, what if she thinks she's still supposed to marry Koss?"

"She won't," Jon said as he cupped Trip's shoulder. "She…"

"She doesn't even know about Elizabeth, about the attack on Earth, Surak…" Trip mumbled.

"You'll share that all with her," Jon said softly.

"In due time," Phlox added. "Her neural cortex is already overwhelmed. Slow and steady everyone."

"Slow and steady," Trip mumbled as he slowly stood. "I better get back to her. Hoshi was filling her in on some lighter stories, I think."

"Everyone is here to support you and T'Pol, Commander," Phlox said kindly.

"Thanks," Trip mumbled softly before he took a deep breath and walked toward T'Pol's room.

As he approached her room he heard Hoshi speaking in Vulcan to T'Pol and his wife replying. He knew very little Vulcan, most of it technical language, but heard his name from Hoshi and what sounded like a question from T'Pol. Trip waited while Hoshi, rather hesitantly, replied to T'Pol's question. Silence filled the room and Trip took that as his opportunity to join them.

"How are we doing?" Trip asked as he walked inside.

"We're uh, we're fine," Hoshi said as she stood and exchanged a look with T'Pol. "Just…just catching up."

"Are you hungry?" Trip asked T'Pol. "Chef sent down some plomeek soup that we've managed to keep in stasis."

T'Pol looked at him surprised by the thoughtfulness. "Thank you, Commander. I would like some."

Hoshi watched Trip wince at his title and stifle his disappointment.

"Why don't I go get that?" Hoshi said as she touched Trip's arm and left the room.

Trip walked over to the chair next to her bed and sat down on it slowly.

"Your last memory was in your quarters?" Trip asked her.

"Yes, I was about to communicate with Koss' parents," T'Pol said assuredly.

"And what were you going to say to them?" Trip asked, hesitantly.

"I was going to accept their offer to schedule the ceremony," T'Pol said. "I would leave Enterprise and return t Vulcan on the T'Mir."

"So, we hadn't spoken yet?" Trip asked as he rubbed at his beard.

"Spoken?" T'Pol asked.

"You know I read the letter, right?" Trip asked.

"Yes, you apologized," T'Pol nodded.

"Well, later that day, you asked me to your quarters to get my advice on the matter," Trip explained.

T'Pol looked at him confused. "Why would I do that?"

"Maybe because you were having doubts?" Trip asked her. "Anyways, I told you to think of what you wanted for your own life."

"Vulcans are duty-bound and…"

"After our conversation you called off your wedding with Koss," Trip explained.

"I would never inflict that shame on my family," T'Pol gasped.

"Well, I'm not sure how your folks took it, but you didn't marry Koss…then," Trip amended and cursed himself for his wording.

"Then?" T'Pol asked with an arched eyebrow.

Hoshi interrupted her question as she walked into the room with some heated Plomeek broth for T'Pol.

"I hope the stasis unit didn't kill the flavor," Hoshi said with a smile. "It smells amazing."

T'Pol sat up a little in her bed and waited while Hoshi placed the soup before her.

"Thank you, Ensign," T'Pol nodded to her.

Hoshi nodded back. "I'll see you soon."

Hoshi gave Trip a quick hug and then left them alone.

"Koss," T'Pol reminded Trip.

Trip closed his eyes and sighed.

"You did marry him, a couple of years later, out of obligation," Trip explained. "But, you ended your marriage shortly afterwards."

"That seems highly illogical," T'Pol said, affronted.

"Darlin, you are the most logical person I've ever met, but even you need a break from it, from time to time," Trip smiled at her.

"Please refrain from using your familiar terminology when…" T'Pol started.

"T'Pol," Trip said annoyed. "We're married. You are my wife. I am your husband. I call you darlin' and honey all the time. The doctors said you need to get back to your routine, so you'll remember. Logically, that incudes not referring to each other as Commander and Sub-Commander."

T'Pol narrowed her eyes and looked at him.

"It also includes not blocking me in our bond," Trip said as he narrowed his eyes as well.

She sat back slightly and crossed her arms over her lap. "I don't know what you are speaking of."

Trip huffed loudly. "You know exactly what I am speaking of. If anything should prove to you that we're in a relationship, it's that."

T'Pol sat and stared at him in silence for a few moments before she spoke. It reminded him of the arguments they used to get into, years ago.

"You may call me T'Pol," T'Pol said. "I will call you Charles."

"You call me Trip," Trip amended.

"I cannot do that," T'Pol sighed.

"T'Pol…" Trip started.

"I am trying," T'Pol interrupted him. "But you have to allow me some lenience. You and everyone else seem to know more about me than I do. Can you imagine how emotionally trying that is for a Vulcan?"

Trip closed his eyes and dropped his head to his chest.

"I'm sorry," he said softly as he took her hand. He pretended he didn't feel her stiffen at contact. "I just want my T'Pol back, that's all."

"Your T'Pol?" T'Pol asked.

"The woman who teased me with her dry humor, the woman who would reach out to me through our bond when I was tired or hungry, T'Pol who pretended to not like goofball comedies but laughed in our bond at the slapstick jokes as we watched, my T'Pol who I love and who loves me in return, the…the woman who…who doesn't cringe when I touch her." Trip said, his voice cracking.

T'Pol closed her eyes and sighed; humans were emotionally draining. It was a complete mystery to her why she tied herself to any human, never mind this emotional and volatile one. But she had looked at the paperwork, she was T'Pol Tucker. Hoshi had confirmed some other details about her relationship with Commander Tucker as well. And the video footage that was recovered from the blast showed the two of them casually walking together and standing closely, intimately. And, there was also the bond she was blocking; it was too much to deal with externally, never mind in her own mind. No, that would have to wait.

T'Pol looked at the upset man before her and tried another tactic to calm the situation.

"Tell me about Movie Night," T'Pol said as she watched him look at her confused.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: Please see notes in Chapter 1.

XXX

Trip Tucker walked down the hall to T'Pol's room. He had slept on Enterprise last night for the first time since the explosion. Truthfully, he was happy to get some space from her, even if it was only for six hours. Her memory hadn't returned yet and she was treating him like he was an annoyance. And calling him Charles. Only his grandmother called him that.

He had packed some clothes for her and some toiletries, so she could get out of her hospital clothes before they went back to Enterprise today. He hoped being back on Board would spark her memories. Their new quarters felt incredibly spacious; the team had done an excellent job and had already moved Trip's things over. He wasn't sure how she was going to feel about sharing quarters with him, but Ensign Kimble had already moved into his old quarters with her promotion. And, to be honest, he wanted to try and force her to remember him, them, and living separately was not going to help with that.

As he approached the door he heard Vulcan being spoken, T'Pol's voice was there, but the other female voice was not Hoshi.

Trip stepped inside the room and two Vulcans turned to look at him.

"Hello," Trip nodded at T'Pol's mother and, he assumed, her father. "I have been trying to get a hold of you and…"

"We left Vulcan as soon as we received your message," T'Les explained as she stepped forward slightly. "Charles Tucker, may I introduce T'Pol's father, Wes."

Trip stepped forward and nodded with a slight waist bend. "Sir."

"Commander Tucker," Wes said with a deep penetrating voice. "Thank you for all of your assistance with our daughter."

Trip knitted his brows together and looked at T'Pol standing behind them looking through a bag and ignoring the conversation.

"T'Pol?" Trip asked as he looked around her father.

"Charles, I think it would be best if I returned to Vulcan with my parents and…"

"Wait, now hold on there," Trip said as he stepped around her father and toward her. "The doctors said you needed to return to your routine. Your routine is on board Enterprise and with me."

"T'Pol wishes to come home," Wes said as he turned to face the couple.

Trip dropped the bag he had packed on her bed and looked at her annoyed.

"I only have a few months of memory on board Enterprise, but a lifetime of memories on Vulcan," T'Pol said as she met his eyes. "It's only logical that I…"

"Logical is following the doctor's orders," Trip snapped as he placed his hands on his hips. He could feel the disdain for his emotional outburst from all the Vulcans in the room. "You're running away to Vulcan because you're scared."

T'Pol, affronted by his accusation straightened her back slightly. "Vulcans don't feel fear."

"You do," Trip said quietly as he leaned into her slightly. "Right now. You know it, and so do I."

T'Pol flinched at his suggestion.

"Commander Tucker, she would be more comfortable at home with me," T'Les explained nicely. "Maybe you can visit and…?"

"Visit my wife?!" Trip reeled as he turned to look between all three Vulcans. "You two can't just swoop in here and run away with her. She chose to stay on board Enterprise four years ago. She did. No one made her. I think T'Pol needs to honour the choices she's made in her life."

"Charles, I am not sure that I will ever get my memories back," T'Pol said softly. "Maybe it would be best if you went on with your life without the burden of…"

"Burden?" Trip asked as his eyebrows shot to his hairline. "Darlin' you've never been a burden. A pain in the ass? Yes. Sometimes. But never a burden."

Wes cleared his throat behind him. "T'Pol, you should prepare to go. No one is implying the marriage has to end just…"

"Like yours?" Trip asked as he turned to see the man. "You haven't seen her since she married Koss and even then, you stayed for all of ten minutes after the ceremony? I didn't even know you were her father until she told me you had been there weeks later. So, pardon me if I don't want a Vulcan marriage like you two have; living on separate sides of the planet and barely seeing each other or your daughter."

"Charles," T'Pol hissed.

Trip closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I apologize for my rude behaviour and harsh words…I shouldn't judge. But, I just don't see why we are not following the doctor's orders. If it doesn't work, then we can consider other options."

All three Vulcans exchanged looks.

"Fine," T'Pol sighed. "I'll come on board Enterprise for a month. If at the end of the month nothing has changed…I will try Vulcan."

"Just a month?" Trip asked.

T'Pol looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Fine," he sighed.

"T'Pol, your mother is much better equipped to…" Wes started.

"Thank you for your concern father," T'Pol started. "But it is logical to follow the doctor's orders."

Wes nodded.

"Well, at least I brought some of your things from home," T'Les said as she nodded toward T'Pol's bag.

T'Pol looked between it and the bag Trip brought and took a cleansing breath. "I think I will find something to wear in the bag Charles brought me."

Trip, surprised by the turn in events, smiled softly and pushed the bag toward her slightly. "I didn't bring any uniforms, but packed some of your favorite civilian clothes…"

T'Pol reached in and pulled out fitted purple pants, a fitted pink shirt and an oversized grey wraparound sweater. She sighed and walked toward the washroom.

"Wait, you don't have..." Trip said as he rooted around in the bag and, palming a couple of items, quickly shoved them on top of her pile. T'Pol looked down to see underwear and a bra now added to her clothes.

"Thank you," she nodded before she turned and walked into the washroom to dress.

The door closed, and Trip was left with a couple of Vulcans.

"Do you think this is really for her benefit?" Wes asked as he turned to face Trip.

"I do, sir," Trip nodded as he crossed his arms over his chest. "She's been home a handful of times in four years, but she's spent every day on board Enterprise."

"What if she doesn't ever remember?" T'Les asked.

"Then," Trip paused. "We'll deal with that as well."

"We?" T'Les asked.

"She's my family," Trip said clearly. "I know you aren't happy with that, but I won't abandon her."

"You have just married," T'Les said as she walked toward him. "You don't have to feel like…"

"We may have just married," Trip said. "But we've been a couple for a long time."

"She married another man over a year ago," Wes explained.

"You and I know exactly why that happened," Trip said as he eyed her father. "And it was over just after it happened. They were never, really, married."

Wes said nothing and just looked toward T'Pol.

"I would like regular updates from T'Pol and her doctor," T'Les said.

"I'll make sure you get them," Trip nodded.

Silence fell over the room and Trip looked expectantly toward the washroom door.

"I'm sure you are aware T'Les and I did not approve of your marriage," Wes said as he clasped his hands in front of himself.

"That has been obvious," Trip huffed.

"I know you love her a great deal," T'Les said. "But Vulcans and humans are very different and with her memory gone, she may not feel the same about you any longer."

"I acknowledge that ma'am," Trip said as she swallowed hard. "And I'm hoping it doesn't stay that way."

"T'Pol's choices must be respected," Wes said sternly. "If she chooses to leave this…relationship."

"Marriage," Trip corrected him.

"This marriage," Wes said with disdain. "You need to honour that as well."

Trip nodded; he didn't want to think about that right now.

The door to the washroom opened and T'Pol stepped out. She had the sweater wrapped protectively around her and was pulling up her pants that sat low on her hips.

"You look great," Trip said with a smile.

"My clothing is much more…revealing then I remember it being," T'Pol said as she approached everyone.

"I wouldn't say revealing," Trip said nicely. "Just showcasing your personal taste. You tend to like jewel-tone colours and fitted clothing."

"I see," T'Pol said before she turned to face her parents.

"T'Pol, are you sure?" T'Les asked.

"I am, mother," T'Pol said simply. "I will communicate with you regularly."

T'Les nodded.

"Father," T'Pol started. "I acknowledge your concerns, and will return to mother if the need arises."

"Be well, T'Pol," Wes said as he raised his hand up. "Live long and prosper."

"Live long and prosper," T'Pol responded.

She nodded to Trip and he picked up her bag following her from the room.

"I'll keep in touch," he said to her parents before he followed her out the door.

They walked at an appropriate distance, side-by-side to the elevator.

"I'm so glad you decided to come with me," Trip confessed as they waited for the elevator.

T'Pol looked at him and frowned. "I am following the doctor's orders, Charles."

"Yeah, but…well, I'm just glad, I guess," he stumbled over his words.

"We will try this," T'Pol said. "But if it is not helping, I will return to my mother on Vulcan."

"That's crystal clear," he said as the doors opened, and they stepped inside. "I just want you to promise that you'll try. Put in an honest effort?"

T'Pol turned and faced him as the elevator began to move.

"I promise, Charles," she said as she met his eyes.

Trip nodded and took her hand, awkwardly, in his. "We're in this together."

T'Pol nodded and turned back to the door. She felt uncomfortable with this level of physical intimacy and was excited to be in her own room once they were on board Enterprise.

XXX

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note: Please see notes in Chapter 1.

XXXX

Trip Tucker groaned and shifted on his cot. His eyes slowly opened, one at a time, to the sight of his wife meditating on the floor across the room. She looked awkward sitting there with a sling on her one arm, but peaceful nonetheless. He watched her for a long time, looking for signs that she was, once again, the woman he married.

Boarding Enterprise and getting settled yesterday was far more challenging then he thought it would be. T'Pol insisted on referring to everyone by their rank, refused to attend her 'Welcome Back' event, and looked at him as if he had three heads when he showed her their quarters. Words and phrases like 'unacceptable', 'lack of privacy' and 'other arrangements' came from her mouth; not what he had hoped for when he'd agreed to the transformation of her quarters to their quarters. He had pictured, before the accident, a sultry evening spent christening the new 6 square metres. Now, he was laying on a cot in those 6 square metres, alone, watching his wife meditate. She was probably hoping he would get so frustrated with her he'd room with some lower ranking personnel and leave her alone.

Trip Tucker was not a stupid man. He had the cot in place before they arrived, so she knew, clearly, that he was not looking for any marital action. He had hoped, his thoughtful act would get her attention, instead, it appeared the cot was not far enough away with enough walls and other people between her and him. She was still completely blocking him in their bond and showed no interest in looking at any pictures, letters, or pretty much anything to do with their life together. Instead, she spent most of the day reading the Kir'Shara; fascinated by the Surak document she'd unearthed a year ago and read twice already in that time span. Not that she could remember it.

He sighed and slowly rose from his spot on the cot, shifting and twisting out the kinks in his back from the crappy cot. He'd, out of propriety, worn more to bed last night then he had in a long time. A pair of sweatpants were on his lower half and a t-shirt on his upper half; he didn't want to make her uncomfortable. He stood and looked at T'Pol, noting her eyes were on him and she was no longer meditating.

"You may have the bed tonight," T'Pol said softly. "I will sleep in crew quarters or…"

"I'm fine," Trip huffed as he walked toward a cabinet and took out a towel.

"It is only logical that you get a good night's sleep and…"

"I said I'm fine on the cot," Trip said softly, not turning to look at her.

"Are you upset I suggested sleeping in other quarters?" T'Pol attempted negotiation.

Trip turned and looked at her; everything about his expression and body language screamed 'tired'.

"Yes, T'Pol," Trip said with a vigorous nod. "I am upset that we've been on board for less than 24 hours and besides reading Surak's book, you have shown absolutely no interest in learning about the rest of your life. Hoshi planned the party for you and you just refused to go. Jon…"

"If you cannot understand why a party with an entire crew of people that knew more about me and the last four years of my life would not be…troubling, then you are not a very thoughtful husband," T'Pol said with some acid.

Trip closed his eyes and walked to her unmade bed and sat heavily on it.

"I'm sorry," he said honestly. "I was thinking you were avoiding anything that would trigger…"

"I want my memory back, Charles," T'Pol said clearly. "I don't want to live the remainder of my life with a piece that is missing. But, right now, I don't have those memories, so the only person I know to be, is the one before you."

"I get that," Trip said as he met her eyes. "And the T'Pol at the start of our mission was very…naïve and…"

"Naïve?" T'Pol asked.

Trip huffed and placed the towel he was holding in his hand on the bed next to him.

"You were a lot more Vulcan and sure of yourself back then," Trip said softly. "You believed the High Command 100%, thought Humans were inferior, and thought our emotions a crutch. I think, in the beginning, you looked at us like a bit of a science experiment. I don't think you really started to question your beliefs or see us as equals until a few months after your last memory."

"I see," T'Pol said, her brain in overdrive.

"So, I know that's how you see us now," Trip said softly. "Like a bunch of inferior, emotional and illogical lab rats. And I know it is really bothering you that we are married; it's so illogical. Sleeping with a lab rat to catalogue the experience is one thing…but becoming emotionally invested? Marrying said lab rat? That's not what a scientist does."

T'Pol's face betrayed her in that moment; she had been thinking along those lines.

"I don't see humans, or you, as lab rats," T'Pol said softly, trying to adjust her beliefs.

"Maybe that was harsh," Trip huffed as he stood and grabbed the towel. "And maybe I have to wait four years for you to get to the place where we were before the explosion…but you are not going to get there if you keep fighting it."

T'Pol swallowed hard and said nothing.

"Look, I know the uptight Vulcan in you is screaming right now; telling you to not yield to the life you are told you had. That that life is wrong, un-Vulcan, not the path of Surak…whatever. But I'm telling you that you were happy. Giddy happy. Fulfilled and every bit a Vulcan. You had both; logic and emotion, balanced. By human standards you were still cold and aloof to most people. But with your friends, and with me, you were…so special. What I'm saying T'Pol," Trip said as he crouched down and looked her right in the eye. "You found the sweet spot between Vulcan and human existence and you took me there with you. We were happy, in love, and excited about the future. And I'm trying to be understanding. I'm trying to be patient. But I want that back so bad it aches. And when the woman I love shows no interest in anything to do with that…that wonderful life we had. Well, it takes away a piece of my heart each and every time."

Trip stood abruptly and walked to their washroom closing the door behind him gently. He didn't want to hear excuses from her, his didn't want to argue anymore. He'd laid his cards on the table and the next move was hers.

When he exited the washroom, she was gone. Part of him was grateful she wasn't going to argue more logic with him, and another part of him worried about her. He used the ship to locate her in the science labs and decided that she was safe and probably best left alone.

Trip went to work in Engineering, hoping he could get some joy and distraction from that. But, he spent the entire day getting the ship to locate her. She spent most of it in the science lab, went to lunch, briefly, to their quarters briefly, and then back to the lab again. As days went, it was not his most productive, but short of going to see her himself, tracking her was his best option. He hoped she'd had some time to think about what he'd said and that his emotional speech hadn't made her more determined to cut off any link to him and emotion.

When he returned to their quarters after his shift she was still in the science lab. Phlox had sent him a message about an hour ago that he and T'Pol had spoken and he'd like to see Trip at some point the next day. Trip stripped out of his clothing and threw his uniform in the laundry chute before padding naked to their washroom and starting the shower on a hot setting. His muscles were sore and tired, even though he'd done little manual work today. His injuries from the explosion, although mostly healed, compounded with the damn cot had made a mess of his back. The hot water was exactly what he needed to calm his body down, even if his mind was working double shifts. He needed to find a way to reach her and being an overly emotional human was probably not the best route.

When Trip finished his shower, his muscles felt looser and his mind slightly calmer. They needed to take this one day at a time and he needed to stop expecting miracles.

He stepped out of the shower and, noting he'd forgotten his towel, tried to slide as much water off his body as possible before he stepped into the main part of their cabin in search of the elusive towel.

Trip walked buck naked out of the washroom and was two steps into their main cabin when he noticed T'Pol sitting on her bed starring at him wide-eyed.

"Shit!" Trip swore as his hands went to cover his manly bits. "I thought you were still in the lab!"

"Obviously I am not," T'Pol replied dryly.

"Well, uh…sorry," Trip said as he shimmied to the cabinet and, with one hand still covering himself opened the door and reached in for a towel.

"I can assure you I have seen a naked male before," T'Pol said calmly as she watched him wrap a towel around his lower half.

"One you remember?" Trip asked.

"A cadaver," T'Pol said. "In forensics."

"Well, I hope my time at the gym gives me a better physique then the corpse," Trip chuckled, his face red. He wasn't sure why he was so embarrassed about appearing naked in front of T'Pol who had explored almost every inch of his body.

"You have more defined upper-body muscle tone, shorter legs, and, from what I saw, a larger penis," T'Pol said coolly.

"Thanks for the compliment," Trip said with a chuckle.

"It was merely an observation," T'Pol corrected him.

"Of course, it was," Trip sighed. "So how was the lab?"

"I was able to read the first year of notes. I stopped reading at October 1st, 2152," T'Pol explained. "We conducted some interesting science experiments during that time."

"You mean that nebula?" Trip asked as he rooted around for socks and underwear in a drawer.

"Among other things," T'Pol said as she watched him.

"You always ran a tight department," Trip conceded as he turned his back to her and pulled on some underwear, getting rid of the towel in the process. "Your scientists really admired your commitment to their funding and supplies."

"Dr. Geffer expressed that same sentiment," T'Pol nodded.

"Trina?" Trip inquired as he looked for some clean clothes to wear. "Yeah, last year she wanted a lot of money to study some sort of inter-spacial slime on board and you lobbied hard for her to get it. You have a fan for life in her."

"I sensed a great deal of hesitancy when I spoke with my scientists," T'Pol said cautiously. "Were they not pleased with my performance?"

"As far as I know, they all liked you," Trip said, his brows knitting; all his clothes from their trip must still be in laundry. "I'm not sure, maybe it's because of the accident…they don't want to upset you or something."

"What's the matter?" T'Pol asked as she looked at him standing and staring into a drawer.

"All of my clothes are in laundry," Trip sighed. "Except for my sweats, some shorts, and one collared shirt, I'm stuck in uniforms."

"Then wear a uniform," T'Pol said confused.

Trip shook his head and walked to the closet to get out a uniform.

"Why do you hesitate to wear one?" T'Pol asked.

"Jon said casual for dinner," Trip explained. "So, you should probably change as well."

T'Pol looked down at her grey uniform and sighed. "Very well."

"You know, I haven't seen you wear that in years," Trip said as she walked to her set of drawers.

"It was the least revealing," T'Pol answered as she looked down at her grey catsuit. All the others were colourful and low cut in the front.

"That's accurate," Trip nodded as he pulled on his uniform.

"Do I not have any appropriate clothing that is not low cut, tight, or stomach revealing?" T'Pol asked exacerbated as she held several pieces of clothing in her hands.

"Well, uh…" Trip said as he walked to her set of drawers and started riffling through them.

He pulled out a pair of light brown pants that she never wore but he knew were not low on the hips. Then he found a moss green shirt that had a high neck and handed it to her.

"Thank you," T'Pol nodded before she left to change in their washroom.

"I still have to dry the floor," Trip called to her.

She turned and faced him annoyed.

"Look, you weren't supposed to be here," Trip explained.

T'Pol then walked to her bed and dropped the clothes, unzipping her uniform in the process.

"I trust you will be a gentleman?" T'Pol asked over her shoulder.

"Always," Trip chuckled as he turned away from her and grabbed a towel to dry their floor while she changed.

"Why are you worried about revealing clothes?" Trip asked over his shoulder. "My T'Pol didn't seem bothered by them or worried about how she would be perceived in them."

"Perhaps she was more confident in her position on board this ship," T'Pol replied. "Not worried she would be perceived as a sexual object."

"Well, the tight outfits from the beginning kind of left nothing to the imagination," Trip said with a huff.

"So, I was viewed sexually?" T'Pol inquired.

"Your derriere was admired by many," Trip smiled. "Me included."

T'Pol said nothing for a long time and Trip continued to clean the floor.

"You may turn around," she said finally.

Trip turned to see his wife dressed in clothes she would never normally wear. She looked plain, covered, and awkward in her own body. He stifled his regret for her and smiled.

"Beautiful as ever," he said as he watched her visibly relax at his compliment. "Come on, the Captain is expecting us."

XXX

"And that was the first time a Vulcan, in history, has filed a report about time travel being probable," Jon laughed, reaching for his drink.

"The Vulcan Science Academy has concluded that time travel is impossible," T'Pol said calmly.

"You have travelled yourself and witnessed the effects of it," Jon said nicely as he looked at her. "It does exist."

T'Pol looked toward Charles for further confirmation and he nodded his head in agreement. "It's true."

"I wanted to speak to you about my position as First Officer," T'Pol started, folding her hands in front of her and looking toward the Captain.

"What about it?" Jon as, leaning back in his chair.

"I think Commander Tucker should be your first officer as, with my memory lapse, I may make an error in judgement and compromise the safety of this ship," T'Pol started.

"Now, T'Pol…" Jon and Trip both started.

"I think I am best suited as strictly a science officer at this point," she interrupted them. "We can re-evaluate if…conditions change."

Jon exchanged a look with Trip and Trip shrugged his shoulders; he knew nothing about this conversation beforehand.

"Fine," Jon nodded. "I'll file the temporary paperwork after dinner."

"Thank you, Captain," T'Pol nodded. "Now, I have some personal questions, if you are willing to answer them."

"Of course," Jon said placing down his napkin. He reached for a bottle of alcohol and filled both his glass and Trips.

"Do you still have a great deal of animosity towards myself and Vulcans, in general?" T'Pol asked.

"T'Pol…" Trip started.

"Uh, no, that's okay," Jon said, holding up a hand to stop Trip. "I have come to respect Vulcan ideology and some Vulcans in particular. You, Surak, and Soval are among them."

"Surak?" T'Pol inquired.

"I carried his Katra at one point," Jon explained. "Your mother joined the Syrannites and we went to bring her home."

"A human carried a Vulcan Katra?" T'Pol asked, unbelieving. "That of Surak?"

"He takes up a lot of space," Jon joked. "He was eventually transferred to an elder, but was with me for a few days. I still carry some residual remembrances and used them to help you with a meld one time."

"My mother is a Syrannite?" T'Pol asked, shocked. "I am a melder?"

"She is, well, was," Trip explained. "She does believe many of the same things as them, but has come to see the balance with traditional Vulcan society."

"Oh," T'Pol said softly.

"Vulcan is in a state of new birth right now with Surak's teachings at the centre of a newly devised order," Jon said. "It's an exciting time to be Vulcan."

"My parents didn't mention these things at the hospital," T'Pol said, annoyed.

"They probably didn't want to throw too much at you…you know, all at once," Trip said as he clasped her hand in his. She didn't flinch or pull away, so she was either pre-occupied with her thoughts or in a state of shock.

"I'm a melder?" T'Pol asked, surprised.

"No," Trip explained. "A melder assaulted you years ago and left you with Pa'nar Syndrome."

T'Pol looked at him shocked.

"Don't worry, you've been cured," Trip said as he squeezed her hand slightly. "But you have melded a couple of times, safely, to get much needed information. It was done for your job."

"Oh," T'Pol sighed, relief in her voice.

"Any…any other questions?" Jon asked, hesitantly. All the information shared was a lot to take in all at once and T'Pol's pale expression illustrated that point quite clearly.

"I realize I am married to Charles," T'Pol began. "But in my memory, you were demonstrating a definite sexual and romantic desire for me…"

Jon cleared his throat and Trip shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Did you ever act on that?" T'Pol asked.

"Uh, no," Jon said as he turned slightly red and looked at Trip apologetically. "I was attracted to you for a time…but that subsided."

Trip looked at Jon surprised, it was the first he'd ever heard about this. "Really?"

"Yeah, but it was a long time ago and I couldn't be happier for you and Trip," Jon said before he took a long drink.

"Thank you for answering honestly," T'Pol said as she placed her napkin next to her plate. "I will retire now."

"I'll…I'll come too," Trip stammered as he also stood. "Thanks for dinner Captain."

"No…no trouble at all," Jon waved at his friend, embarrassed.

Trip and T'Pol walked from the Captain's mess and toward their cabin in silence. When they reached the door, Trip held out an arm to stop her from going inside.

"Were you…or are you attracted to him?" Trip asked, honestly.

"No," T'Pol said simply.

"But you knew he liked you, how?" Trip inquired.

"Pheromones have a scent," T'Pol informed him.

"Oh," Trip nodded as he removed his arm and they walked inside.

"Were you attracted to anyone on board?" Trip asked as he watched her start to light her meditation candles around the room.

"Attracted? No," T'Pol said calmly.

"Why do I sense there's more to that answer," Trip said as he leaned against a wall and crossed his arms over his chest.

T'Pol lit a couple more candles before she spoke.

"I found several human males attractive," T'Pol explained. "But, as a Vulcan woman, and a superior officer, I was not interested in developing any sort of relationship."

"Who'd you find attractive?" Trip inquired, not sure if he really wanted to know the answer.

T'Pol sat down on her meditation pillow and looked up at him. "I need to meditate, could you possibly leave so I can achieve that state?"

"Sure," Trip conceded. "I've got some reports I need to finish. I'll be back in a couple of hours?"

"That is adequate time," T'Pol nodded.

Trip walked to the desk and grabbed his PADD and turned to leave. Just as he got to the door he heard her voice.

"You," T'Pol said softly. "I found you attractive."

Trip turned and looked at her surprised. "From the start?"

"You have an athletic body," T'Pol said as she met his eyes.

"So, it was DECON, was it?" Trip asked with a smirk. "I quite liked yours myself, that day."

"And I found myself attracted to arguing with you," T'Pol explained. "You were…are a passionate individual."

Trip smiled softly at her. "Thank you."

T'Pol nodded and closed her eyes. He took one last look at her and then left quietly; today was ending much better than it began.

XXX

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note: Please see author's notes in Chapter 1.

XXX

They had been on board Enterprise for six days and T'Pol had slowly adjusted to life on the ship. She had finished reading her logs and reports, reported for duty for the last three days and agreed to attend Movie Night with Trip tonight.

"You'll like it," Trip said as they walked toward the mess. "It's a classic whodunit."

"Who…?" T'Pol asked, confused.

"A mystery," Trip said. "You try and figure out who committed the crime before it is revealed."

"So, I am to take notes?" T'Pol asked.

"It's not a test," Trip chuckled. "You just decide in your head who is guilty and then bask in the glow afterwards that you figured it out."

"Oh," T'Pol sighed.

"Do I tell someone when I have solved the mystery?" T'Pol asked.

"You can whisper it to me," Trip said with a smile.

"Okay," T'Pol said softly.

"Do you want some tea?" Trip asked as they walked into the mess hall.

"I'd like…" T'Pol started.

"Chamomile or Green?" Trip asked. "I can't remember if you'd switched yet."

"Chamomile?" T'Pol asked.

"Was that a question or a request?" Trip chuckled.

"I'll try Chamomile," T'Pol nodded.

"Okay, I'll get that, if you get us seats," Trip said as he nodded toward the area with chairs.

T'Pol left him and tried to find two seats next to each other but not too close to others.

"Commander," Hoshi called to her as she motioned to some empty seats near her.

T'Pol sighed and approached.

"Ensign?" T'Pol asked.

"I'm so glad you and Trip came to the film," Hoshi smiled at her.

"Charles was insistent," T'Pol said, sitting down on a chair two away from Hoshi.

"How…how are things going with your memory?" Hoshi asked.

"It still has not been restored," T'Pol shared.

"I can't imagine how that feels," Hoshi huffed.

"It is…disconcerting," T'Pol conceded.

"How's Trip doing?" Hoshi asked.

"Charles is…adjusting," T'Pol hesitated.

"Does Phlox have any suggestions?" Hoshi asked.

"He suggested I hear stories of my pre-loss life," T'Pol said. "Charles has told me a few stories, but they seem to…upset him."

"That's understandable," Hoshi nodded.

"Perhaps you could share a few stories with me?" T'Pol inquired.

"Uh, sure!" Hoshi smiled. "What do you want to know?"

"Perhaps you can tell me about another movie night I attended?"

Hoshi noted that Trip was in conversation with the Captain and decided to give T'Pol a quick story.

"Well, there was this one time that you chose the film," Hoshi said with a smirk.

"I chose a film?" T'Pol asked, surprised.

"Yeah, and we were all curious about your choice," Hoshi smiled. "Trip nagged you the entire week to give up the title and you never once gave in."

"It was a secret?" T'Pol asked.

"Yes, and I think he was devious in finding ways to get you to talk, but you didn't," Hoshi said as her face reddened slightly.

"You are referring to sexual acts?" T'Pol asked.

"I think so," Hoshi said candidly. "Although you and Trip were very quiet about your romantic life. No one knew you were involved for the longest time. And even recently, half the crew were shocked when they heard you had married."

"But we were involved for a year and a half?" T'Pol inquired.

"Yeah, I guess," Hoshi nodded.

"You guess?" T'Pol asked.

"You were very candid as a couple," Hoshi said. "I first became aware of your relationship about four months ago."

"What about prior to that?" T'Pol asked.

"Uh, Malcolm said he knew you two were involved a lot earlier," Hoshi said. "Phlox said he knew you two were involved intimately."

"The Captain?" T'Pol asked.

"Uh, I'm not sure when he found out," Hoshi said as she shifted in her seat. "Why are you so interested in…?"

"I am merely trying to construct a timeline," T'Pol said; lying.

"Oh, well, Trip would be able to fill in those details and…"

"What can I fill in?" Trip asked as he sat down next to T'Pol.

"Uh, you can tell T'Pol about the week she chose the movie," Hoshi covered.

"No one expected that choice," Trip smiled at the pair of them as he handed T'Pol her tea. "I was just as shocked as everyone else."

"What was my choice?" T'Pol inquired.

"Uh," Trip ran his thumbnail along the bottom edge of his lip. "It was called Whip It."

"Whip It?" T'Pol asked, confused.

"An early 21st century film about women who were roller derby stars," Trip smirked at her. "You said it was a feminist film. You shocked the hell out of the entire crew with that choice."

"What is a roller derby?"

"Women strapped shoes with wheels to their feet and attempted to be the victors by lapping the other team," Trip explained. "It's a contact sport and quite brutal."

"I'd like to see this film," T'Pol explained. "It sounds a lot like H'Derga, a Vulcan sport played at festivals."

"You mentioned that when we spoke about the film, but H'Derga involves hover boards and not roller skates, and it's an octagon, but, essentially, it's the same concept," Trip said before he grabbed a handful of popcorn and threw it in his mouth.

"We spoke about this?" T'Pol asked.

"We spoke about a lot darlin'," Trip said before he leaned into her and whispered conspiratorially. "We did leave our bed from time to time and have full conversations, you know?"

T'Pol turned a deep shade of green and shifted uncomfortably in her seat. There was something about the tenor of his voice and the closeness of his person that caused her heart to race and her skin to break out in a fine sheen of sweat.

"You can call it up on the PADD," Hoshi said, not noticing T'Pol's uncomfortableness. "It's actually a good film. But not what we expected from you."

"What did you expect?" T'Pol inquired.

"Subtitles," Trip mumbled. "You used to make me watch foreign language films all the time. I hate reading a movie."

"I expected a documentary," Hoshi smiled at her. "But Whip It was great."

T'Pol sat back slightly in her seat and took a sip of her tea; it was hard learning about yourself through others.

Just then the lights went down and the film started. Music filled the room, and everyone quieted.

"Popcorn?" Trip asked.

T'Pol looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Do I normally eat communal snack food?"

"Sometimes, but not always," Trip shrugged. "But I always offer."

T'Pol cautiously reached into the popcorn bowl he was holding and took one piece of popcorn and placed it in her mouth.

"That's my girl," Trip mumbled under his breath. He wanted to put his arm across the back of her chair, but stopped himself knowing it would make her uncomfortable.

It was closer to the end of the film when T'Pol leaned into him slightly.

"I believe I have solved the mystery," T'Pol whispered.

"Okay, who done it?" Trip whispered back.

"It was the lawyer, he was jealous of her getting all the cases and the public attention," T'Pol informed him. "His alibi is weak, and I think he's lying about his leg injury. He doesn't always limp the same."

Trip nodded in agreement. "Thank you, Watson."

T'Pol understood his primitive Earth reference and nodded. "Do you concur?"

"I think it was him too," Trip said as he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned into her slightly more. "But I think he was working with the security guard; there's something fishy about him."

"Interesting," T'Pol said as she looked back toward the screen.

When the murderer was finally revealed ten minutes later, everyone was left reeling.

"The kid?!" Trip snapped as he looked around at the others.

"What the hell?" Travis muttered from somewhere in the back.

"It doesn't add up," Hoshi said vehemently. "He's too short to…"

"Just listen to the explanation," Jon cautioned everyone.

The audience quieted as the crime was explained. Gasps rang out when it was revealed that the kid was actually a dwarf, disguised as a child.

"Now they're just re-writing the entire story!" Trip groaned as he got up from his seat in disgust and walked toward the back of the mess.

T'Pol turned and noted that he was throwing out the remainder of his popcorn and getting himself a large glass of milk. Somehow, she knew that milk was a comfort food for him; she wasn't sure how she knew that.

She rose from her seat and walked toward him. She had been attempting, these last two days, to react better to his moods. When he was happy, she tried not to dampen it. When he was upset, she offered to listen. T'Pol wasn't sure if this was the right thing to do, what she would have done pre-accident, but it made for a better relationship between the two of them. And a better relationship made their small living quarters more bearable.

"If you would like to leave, I am also ready to go," T'Pol said as she approached him from behind.

"Yeah, I don't want to listen to anymore re-telling of the entire story to suit their damn twist," Trip groaned as he took her empty mug from her hands and re-filled it for her with Chamomile tea.

They walked from the darkened room and heard some more loud complaints from inside as the doors shut behind them.

"That's probably the last time we'll ever play a Jergens film on Enterprise," Trip said. "If that's his idea of story-telling…"

"I agree," T'Pol interrupted. "There is no basis for his explanation besides feeble links."

"Thank you," Trip said with a smile. "Feeble links are exactly what I was thinking!"

"I think our resolution is far more plausible and…"

Her words were cut off by an abrupt move by the ship that caused her to lose her footing and hit the ground hard on her wounded arm.

"Ahhh!" T'Pol screamed as she lay on the floor.

Trip had smashed his head against the wall and barely stopped himself from falling on top of her and causing further damage.

"Are you alright?" Trip asked as he leaned over her.

"I think I've re-broken my arm," T'Pol mewed from her place on the floor. "And possibly my shoulder."

"Fuck," Trip said as he helped her stand and carefully placed an arm around her waist to coax her toward Sick Bay.

"Sorry about that," Malcolm's voice came over the comm. "Invisible asteroid. We're all clear now."

XXX

"Come on, now," Trip said as he walked her back into their quarters.

"I feel light," T'Pol said softly.

"That's because I made Phlox give you to good drugs, so you'll sleep like a baby," Trip explained. "You can deal with pain in your very Vulcan way tomorrow. Tonight, we have drugs."

"Agreed," T'Pol said with a nod. She was coherent but in a state of drug-induced deep relaxation.

"You need to get into something for sleeping," Trip said with a huff as he looked down at her. He walked toward her drawers and, finding only lingerie or pajamas she always commented were too revealing or tight, abandoned her clothes and walked to his drawers. There he pulled out a pair of draw string shorts and a tank top. "You'll be comfortable in these."

"I'm sure I have something that…" T'Pol started.

"Not as comfortable as this. Just wear them, T'Pol," Trip sighed. He was tired. They'd spent much of the evening in Sick Bay getting her arm re-set and her shoulder treated. There were other injuries around the ship that Phlox was also treating so the wait was long. It was 2 am and he was tired.

"Fine," T'Pol said quietly.

"Thank you," Trip said as he stepped toward her. "Now let's try and get this over your head."

Her shirt had been cut and her arm and shoulder were removed but she still needed to get it over her head.

"I can do it myself," T'Pol said.

"Okay," Trip said as he placed his hands on his hips and watched her struggle for a minute before sighing and conceding defeat with her eyes. "Ready now?"

T'Pol nodded and allowed him to carefully lift it over her head and throw the discarded shirt on the ground. Trip instinctually reached around for the clasp at the back of her bra and snapped it open. T'Pol covered her breasts and looked at him annoyed.

"Darlin' it's nothing new to me," Trip said before he pulled the bra away and threw it on the floor as well.

He lifted his tank top over her head and started to drop it down over her. She removed her hands from her breasts once they were covered and carefully they moved her arms through the holes. She winced in pain with every movement and Trip questioned whether Phlox had given her enough drugs.

"Sorry about that," Trip said as he touched her cheek.

"My injury is not your fault," T'Pol said, meeting his eyes.

In that moment, Trip wanted nothing more then to kiss her and pull her into his arms, but reality and an injury prevented him from doing that.

"Come on," He sighed as he pulled back slightly. "Let's get these pants off you."

"Charles, I can…" T'Pol started.

"How about you stop arguing with me and just step out of them," Trip said, slightly annoyed.

T'Pol did as she was told and he shimmied her pants off before he pulled a pair of shorts on her.

As he tied the drawstring waist he chastised himself for all the thoughts buzzing through his brain. He thought about how she used to come to bed in one of his shirts occasionally. How she always seemed to like it when he took care of her. How, before the accident, he'd just be taking clothes off her and not replacing them with more. How she used to say his name.

"Thank you," T'Pol said quietly.

"No problem," Trip said with a soft smile. "You need anything else?"

"Can you set the alarm for three hours from now? I have to take more medication then," T'Pol said before she carefully crawled into her bed.

"I'll set it and get your meds for then," Trip said kindly.

"Thank you, Charles," T'Pol said as she carefully settled in to bed.

"Goodnight T'Pol," Trip said before he turned down the lights and, grabbing his own sweatpants, left for the washroom to change.

T'Pol lay in bed with heavy eyes thinking of how nice Charles had been to her; how she was starting to see why she had committed herself to him.

XX

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Note: Please see notes in Chapter 1.

XXX

"Your imaging tests indicate that you have healed entirely from your concussed state," Phlox said as he smiled at T'Pol. "Still not memories?"

"No," T'Pol said.

"Have you tried to access the bond you share with Commander Tucker?"

"You knew we were involved prior to our wedding?" T'Pol asked him, avoiding the question.

"Yes," Phlox nodded. "I was aware that you two were involved in a romantic relationship."

"When did it begin?" T'Pol asked.

"I'm not sure," Phlox explained. "I think the neuropressure sessions you began almost two years ago eventually led to…"

"What do you mean neuropressure sessions?" T'Pol inquired.

"Commander Tucker hasn't shared that with you, yet?" Phlox asked.

"He has not," T'Pol said as she hopped off the biobed. "But a Vulcan performing neuropressure on a human is…"

"You performed it on each other," Phlox interrupted. "He was learning a lot."

"It's a very intimate practice," T'Pol said, her voice lowered.

"Which is why, I think, it led to intimate relations between the two of you," Phlox said quietly. "But you should speak with Commander Tucker about that, not me."

T'Pol nodded.

"Was there something else?" Phlox asked.

"There are moments in time that feel incredibly familiar, but I'm not sure why," T'Pol said softly.

"Do you have an example?" Phlox asked.

"When I was sitting in my lab going over results," T'Pol said as she joined her hands behind her back. "Dr. Geffer was not on the ship prior to my accident but I feel a level of comfort around her that I wouldn't normally when speaking with a stranger."

"That's probably a very good sign," Phlox said as he leaned against the biobed. "Is that the only time?"

"No," T'Pol said as she looked away from him. "There are times when Charles is speaking with me, or looks at me a certain way and I feel…unnerved."

"Unnerved?" Phlox inquired.

"Once, over a meal, he looked across the table at me and suddenly I felt incredibly sure that I had disappointed him. I'm not sure why, or how, but I was sure I had."

Phlox nodded for her to continue.

"At movie night," T'Pol said, trying to seem casual about the information she was about to share. "He leaned into me and said something low and deep, it was not sexual or romantic in nature, but my body responded with heightened…attraction."

"You and he were romantically and physically involved," Phlox explained. "It's not surprising your body, on a physiological level, responded to him. Have you spoken with him about…"

"No," T'Pol interrupted as she started for the door.

"T'Pol, some neuropressure would do wonders for your arm and shoulder," Phlox called out to her. "Consider asking Commander Tucker to help. I'm sure he'd be willing."

"Thank you, doctor," T'Pol said before she exited Sick Bay.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"She's not adjusting terribly well, is she?" Jon asked Trip as he poured them each a drink.

"What do you think?" Trip asked Jon as he reached for his full glass.

"I think we all expected she'd have her memory back by now, it's been three weeks since the accident," Jon said softly, taking a drink.

"Three weeks, two days," Trip sighed heavily before he took a drink.

"Does Phlox…?"

"He says time will tell," Trip said softly. "That just because she doesn't have it back now, doesn't mean it won't come back in a week, a year…whatever."

"So, there's no timeline when there's no return?" Jon asked.

"Nah," Trip said. "Apparently the brain doesn't work like that."

Silence fell over the room for a few minutes while the men just sat there and drank.

"How are you doing?" Jon asked as he met Trip's eyes.

Trip chuckled sadly before he took another swig of his whisky. "How do you think?"

"Not good," Jon said quietly.

Trip shook his head in the negative. "No, not good at all, Jon."

Jon clapped Trip on the back and sighed.

"What am I going to do if she stays like this?" Trip asked as he met Jon's eyes.

Jon looked at the water-filled eyes of his friend and sighed.

"I don't know," Jon said softly. "But, I know that if there's a way to get through to her, you'll find it."

Trip dropped his head to his chest and said nothing.

"Look, she loved you…" Jon said nicely. "You impacted the woman she was. She changed after you two became involved."

"Really?" Trip asked.

"You didn't see it?" Jon asked.

"Uh, no I didn't really, uh, notice," Trip stammered.

"I did," Jon chuckled softly. "I wondered for a couple of months what was going on with her…then there were the rumors…"

"Those started before we were even doing neuropressure," Trip chuckled.

"When I started to watch you two together…that's when I knew there was something to all that," Jon said as he wiped at his chin. "You were too professional."

"Too professional?" Trip asked, surprised.

"Yeah, you used to kid around a lot more before," Jon said. "And she didn't get nearly as bothered by you. She was quieter, softer."

Trip thought about what he said and nodded.

"What I'm saying," Jon started. "Is that you changed her then. You can change her again."

"Come again?" Trip asked.

"Maybe instead of expecting her to just suddenly remember, you need to do all the things that made her fall in love with you the first time," Jon said before he reached for his drink.

"Make her fall in love with me…again?" Trip clarified.

"If it happened once, who's to say it can't happen again? And, if her memories come back this will be something you can tell your kids about. If they don't come back…then she's in love with you again."

"Do you know how challenging it is to woo a Vulcan?" Trip looked at him with raised eyebrows. "Never mind a Vulcan who is not even close to the woman I wooed the first time?"

"You'll figure it out," Jon said as he stood, downed the remainder of his drink and collected their two empty glasses. "We're orbiting Ensa for a few days next week, maybe take her on a date planet side?"

Trip stood from his seat and stretched. "Right now, she would probably rather be planet side on her own. She keeps suggesting one of us move out."

Jon huffed and gave his friend a sympathetic look. "Don't give up on her."

"Oh, I'm not giving up, not ever. It's just hard being looked at like an annoying bug by the woman you love."

"Trip…" Jon started.

"I think I'm going to call it a night," Trip interrupted. He needed to end this conversation now, before it became even more morose.

"Ok, have a good night," Jon said before his new first officer left for his quarters.

XXX

"I have offered the bed," T'Pol said plainly as she watched Trip toss and turn on the cot.

"And I appreciate the offer," Trip grumbled with his back to her.

Silence filled their room.

"Why won't you take the bed?" T'Pol asked, perplexed.

Trip didn't answer right away and T'Pol thought maybe he'd started to finally fall asleep. Then she saw him shift and knew he was still awake.

"Charles?" T'Pol asked again.

Trip rolled to face her and sighed. He could see her silhouette in the dark, laying on her side on their bed.

"Because I don't have any desire to sleep in our bed alone," Trip said honestly. "And before you jump to any conclusions, I wasn't suggesting anything. I was merely stating a fact. I'll sleep in that bed when you get your memories back and invite me to it, with you."

T'Pol thought about his words for a moment before she spoke.

"So, if I don't get my memories back you'll sleep in the cot for the remainder of our time on Enterprise?" She inquired.

"Maybe we'll get bunk beds," Trip groaned.

"Or maybe our own quarters would be appropriate?" T'Pol asked.

"I'll tell you what," Trip said as he sat up slightly and looked at her. "You don't get your memories back in a year and I'll get my own quarters."

"Three months seems a more feasible timeline as…" T'Pol started.

"Six months, no more, no less," Trip interrupted.

She thought about his offer for a moment before she spoke.

"That seems reasonable," T'Pol said. She watched him rub at his temple and knew that was not the answer he was hoping for.

He opened his mouth to say something but stopped himself before the hurtful comment was vocalized.

They lay in silence, he starring at her she starring at the window. He was trying to think of a way to break the tension in their room.

"You know," Trip started, not sure if this was a good topic, considering the hour. "You talk in your sleep, have since I've known you."

"None of my roommates at the Academy reported such nocturnal occurrences," T'Pol said, affronted.

"Maybe it's just in the last few years," Trip said as he got comfortable.

She knitted her eyebrows together, perplexed at her bizarre behaviour.

"You know there was this one time," Trip started to chuckle and had to stop speaking to compose himself. "We…we had a whole conversation before I realized you were sound asleep."

"I replied to your questions?" T'Pol asked, confused.

"Responded to what I was saying, more like," Trip chuckled.

"What was this conversation about?" T'Pol asked, annoyed.

"Food," Trip said with a smirk. "You asked about hush puppies and I told you what was in them."

"That's all?" T'Pol asked.

"No, you said you'd like to try them," Trip added. "So, I told you next time we're on Earth, I'd get my mama to make them for you."

"So, it was a short conversation?" T'Pol inquired.

"No," Trip chuckled. "You then went on ad nauseum about how they couldn't get cooked in bacon fat because you were a vegetarian. It was a long lecture on how bad bacon fat was for my arteries and how I should also think of becoming a vegetarian."

"At what point did you realize I was still asleep?" T'Pol asked. "Are you sure I wasn't awake?"

"I'm sure," Trip snickered. "You were halfway through talking about why I shouldn't consume meat when you reached a revelation about…"

Trip stopped talking and cleared his throat. His face reddened and he took a deep cleansing breath.

"Uh, that…that was really all we spoke about."

T'Pol looked at him confused. He was about to tell her about a revelation she had and suddenly stopped.

"What revelation did I reach?" T'Pol asked, returning him to the conversation.

"Huh?" Trip asked, his voiced raised.

"The revelation," T'Pol coaxed. "You said I came to a revelation while I was discussing your consumption of meat."

"Oh, uh, just that I shouldn't consume it," Trip said as he yawned widely. "I think I can fall asleep now. Night."

"Charles, you are with-holding information from me," T'Pol scolded as she watched him start to turn away from her.

He stopped mid roll and sighed loudly.

"I'm not keeping anything from you T'Pol," Trip said, annoyed. "I told you that you talk in your sleep and you do. Can we drop it?"

T'Pol watched him shift on the cot and try to get comfortable to sleep.

"If you keep things from me, how can you expect me to trust you?" T'Pol asked in the quiet darkness of the room.

Trip said nothing for a minute.

"It's not appropriate," Trip said with a muffled voice. "It was a conversation you had with me months ago and now you're…well, you're not you, and you'd probably not want to know this information."

"Is it regarding myself?" T'Pol asked.

"Yes," Trip groaned.

"Then I want to know what I said," T'Pol said as she sat up on her bed and touched her feet to the floor.

"No, you really don't," Trip cautioned her as he rolled on his cot and sat up, his body only partially angled towards her.

"Allow me to be the judge of what I wish to know about myself," T'Pol said, angered.

Trip sighed loudly and massaged his forehead. It took almost a full minute before he raised his head and looked at her.

"I forgot the last part of the story or I wouldn't have brought it up," Trip said apologetically.

"I don't wish to be sheltered from my own words," T'Pol added.

"You did say this in your sleep, in fact I knew you were asleep as soon as you started to talk like you did," Trip said by way of explanation.

"Please stop adding addendums to the conversation and just tell me what I said," T'Pol cautioned him.

Trip shook his head in the negative and then raised his eyes to meet hers. "Just remember that you wanted this, I was trying to not…well, this isn't a conversation that is going to make you very comfortable."

"I am Vulcan," T'Pol said. "I can deal with discomfort."

Trip sighed, took a deep breath and closed his eyes before he opened them and spoke to her; looking directly at her.

"You reached a revelation that you had meat in your…system from time to time," Trip tried to dodge the terms he knew he would eventually have to use. "When you orally gratified me."

"Orally gratified?" T'Pol asked.

"Fuck, you haven't read the book yet, have you?" Trip asked her.

"Which book?" T'Pol asked.

"A book on human sexuality," Trip explained.

"I have not read a book about human sexuality," T'Pol said, affronted. "Is oral gratification kissing? Am I assuming some meat caught in your teeth would be passed to me accidentally?"

Trip wanted to say 'yes' and end the conversation there, but he knew his wife. She was going to research these terms and he would be caught in his lie. That was not the way to build trust.

"Well, I guess that could be true as well, but I do floss," Trip stammered uncomfortable. It was one thing to talk about sex with his T'Pol, they'd done it often enough. But this? It was like explaining the birds and the bees to a naïve fifteen-year-old.

"Then what is oral gratification and how am I consuming meat through this activity?" T'Pol asked, her back straight and her attention fully on him.

"Uh, let me pull up some information so you can…" Trip said as he got up off his cot and walked toward the computer, turning it on and starting a search.

"Are you always this awkward talking about sexuality? Vulcan children are taught sexuality at a young age and…"

"Well, apparently Vulcan's doing give blow jobs," Trip muttered under his breath.

T'Pol rose from her bed and walked toward him.

"Charles, just tell me," she said, her voice giving away her frustration and exhaustion about the topic.

Trip turned and faced her, she was standing closer to him than she had in weeks and he wished, with all his heart, he wasn't about to disgust her and drive her further away.

"You once told me that I have the same equipment as a Vulcan male," Trip started. "Well, you must have read this book on human sexuality at some point, not yet, and discovered the act of oral gratification. It's when the woman takes…"

Trip paused and wiped his face with his hand.

"I'm assuming it involves my mouth or possibly yours? Oral being the operative word," T'Pol started.

"Yes," Trip said relieved. "Men and women perform it on each other. I use my mouth to pleasure you orally in your vagina."

"I liked this?" T'Pol asked, confused.

"Yes, quite a bit," Trip chuckled. "It allowed you to reach climax several times during a sexual act."

"Vulcan women don't usually climax outside of pon farr," T'Pol informed him.

"You told me that," Trip nodded. "But you climaxed almost every time we had sex. You said Vulcan men rarely worry about their partner's pleasure, but human men seem to make it…I think you used the term 'a mission'."

"We had a pleasurable sex life?"

"Very, Trip nodded.

"I still don't understand how this involves my consumption of meat products," T'Pol said, honestly.

"My ejaculate," Trip explained. "It's a product of my meat-consuming body."

"So, when it enters my vagina…"

"Or mouth," Trip nodded, hoping she's understand without diagrams or videos.

T'Pol raised a curious eyebrow.

"You would ejaculate into my mouth?" She asked, her voice a mix of apprehension and disgust.

"It's oral gratification," Trip sighed as he touched the screen of the computer looking for some files she could read.

"Just stop," T'Pol said as she pulled his hand away from the screen.

Trip looked at her surprised.

"I did this? Freely?" T'Pol asked him.

"Of course!" Trip snapped. "Do you think…I would never…what…what are you implying?!"

"Vulcans do not touch their food," T'Pol explained. "Kissing is incredibly rare even in the most long-term committed relationships. The idea of putting a man's penis in my mouth and allowing him to ejaculate into it…was the ejaculate swallowed?"

"I would never force any woman to…" Trip started, incensed.

"I am not saying force," T'Pol clarified. "Just…did I feel it was a necessary part of a human relationship that I needed to fulfill?"

Trip placed his hands on his hips and tried to contain the explosion that was building inside of him. How dare she think he would force her to do this, or allow her to do this out of some sort of obligation…

"You enjoyed it," Trip said. "Told me yourself that you like the control you had over me with the act."

"How am I controlling you if you are shoving your penis into my mouth and ejac…"

"There's no shoving," Trip interrupted. "It's more…nuanced. And trust me, you are in complete control of the entire act from beginning to end. You make that perfectly clear."

"A male allows a female to control a sexual act?" T'Pol asked surprised.

"Christ, that's right," Trip gasped. "Vulcan sex acts are completely dominated by the male, but human sex acts, our sex life, was a shared act. Sometimes you were in control, and sometimes I was. It depended on the act, the night, the…"

"Then how do you know who is in charge?" T'Pol asked.

"Well, figuring that out is half the fun," Trip smirked at her. "Look, let me pull up some reading material. I have done a piss poor job of explaining this. But know that you did appreciate it when it was performed on you and I appreciated it when it was performed on me. Neither of us was forced or did it out of obligation. It was an enjoyable aspect of our private life."

"You are being truthful, but it seems so…odd," T'Pol said honestly.

"Well, you've only been with that one Vulcan so…"

"How do you know about…?"

"Posa?" Trip finished for her. "You told me about him. And, if you want to know more information, you'll be with one other Vulcan man before we get together. His name was Jex and he was…"

"My lab partner," T'Pol said astonished.

"You slept with him when you went home briefly after P'Jem," Trip explained. "You realized it was a mistake afterwards when you discovered he had not been truthful or told you about his upcoming nuptials."

T'Pol looked at him with a shocked expression. She had behaved inappropriately once in her youth with Posa, but Jex…she was old enough to know better. And he was supposed to be her friend. But, then again, she had slept with, and married, a human.

"Are they the only others, besides you?" T'Pol inquired.

"We were bound T'Pol," Trip said by way of explanation.

She nodded.

"Why won't you open the bond just a little?" Trip asked as he reached for her hand. "It might help you to…"

"How many women have you had sexual relations with?" T'Pol interrupted.

Trip dropped his head to his chest in defeat; she was never going to open their bond again, was she?

"How about you open the connection and find out?" Trip dared her. "I'll put the number at the forefront of my mind, you won't even have to look around."

"Don't be ridiculous," T'Pol scoffed as she turned to leave him, but his hand was still gripping her wrist.

"I know you want to know," Trip said, daring her as he held her wrist and didn't let her leave.

"I can gladly live the remainder of my days not knowing how many women you had sexual relations with," T'Pol said as she wrenched her wrist away easily.

"Fine," Trip snapped. "The files are on the desktop if you ever want to look at them."

He angrily shut off the computer and walked to his cot. She was already in her bed with her back to him. Trip settled into his thin and unsupportive mattress seething. She already looked at humans as disgusting creatures, and he the vilest of them all. Now she saw him as this perverse husband who shoved his penis into her poor innocent mouth and made her consume his cum. Fuck.

Trip settled into his cot and tried some of the neuropressure breathing techniques to calm himself down. More than an hour later he was finally starting to fall asleep when he felt a niggling in the back of his mind. He stayed perfectly still and waited to see if it was what he thought it was. Trip focused on the number 17 with all his might. He felt her again, at an edge...she was curious. He knew she got the number when he felt her presence at the edge of his mind disappear. Maybe she was only in there for a few seconds, but it was the most progress he's had with her trying to test their bond for the first time since her accident. Trip fell asleep that night finally not feeling like the worst husband in the galaxy.

XXX

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Note: Please see notes in Chapter 1.

XXX

"Fuck," Trip groaned in the shower as he tried to ease his tight and tired muscles. He had been working on some challenging conduits all day and the strain of the positions he had found himself in was not helping his already aching body. If he didn't get a proper night's sleep and work out the issues with his back soon he would find himself incapacitated from pain.

He roughly massaged his left shoulder and then adjusted the spray to it's strongest setting, hoping the palpitating water would ease the muscles. The remainder of his ten-minute shower was spent trying to do the same for each muscle group that was causing him issues. No amount of working out at the gym, stretching or joint manipulation seemed to make anything better lately…maybe the shower was his only hope.

It had been nine weeks since T'Pol's accident and things had gone from good to bad to good repeatedly. Trip felt like he was riding a rollercoaster and couldn't see any of the turns or dips ahead until he was on top of them. She hadn't tried to access their bond since that night weeks ago when she wanted to know how many women he'd slept with. What he had hoped had been a start to them getting back to their bond had been a one-time occurrence that hadn't repeated itself.

Instead, he'd slowly revealed much of their history to her, with a few major exceptions. Those being Elizabeth, her Trellium-D addiction and her formal reprimand by the Vulcan High Command. She didn't know every detail of her life that she'd forgotten, but she knew enough to feel like her history had been shared; he'd fill in the gaps as needed in the future. Last week, things had looked up when she asked to see some pictures of them, their wedding, and their honeymoon. Trip had taken great pleasure in re-living the wedding and honeymoon (minus all the sexual details that she didn't need to hear about) and talking to her about all the fun they had as a couple.

She seemed open to hearing about their relationship and the details of the wedding. She asked questions about the pictures, the proposal, and their vows. Trip thought they were turning a corner in their post-memory loss relationship until he arrived back to their quarters two days ago and turned on the computer. She'd forgotten to close a letter she was in the middle of writing to her mother. He knew he shouldn't hit the translate button, but it was too tempting; he wanted to know what she had shared with her mother.

It was not pretty. The letter was formal, somewhat cold, and sterile. She had told her mother about her work for an entire paragraph, asked about her home and friends on Vulcan for another, inquired about a job posting with the High Command that she was qualified for, and asked her mother for information from a lawyer about marriage nullification procedures.

Trip's stomach dropped when he saw those words. She had been actively pursuing a nullification of their marriage, it seemed. She was also looking for work with the High Command that would take her back to Vulcan and away from him. All of this she had been doing in secret and, apparently, for several weeks. Trip translated the letter back to Vulcan and turned off the computer. He didn't know what to do, or what to say. The woman he loved was gone, replaced by this new version of T'Pol that hid things from him. A new T'Pol who wanted to leave him, divorce him.

For two days he'd worked almost non-stop. Either that or worked out. One night he even watched water polo with Jon for a few hours before returning to their room to find her asleep already. Trip didn't know what to do and he was scared he'd blow a gasket or turn into a bawling mess if he spoke with her about the letter. So instead, he just avoided her.

Trip was happy to have their quarters to himself for the night. T'Pol was working a double shift monitoring a star array they had encountered. He didn't have to work an extra shift, or hit the gym, or hide in Jon's quarters tonight. No, he could just wallow in his own misery in his own quarters for the evening and try and come up with a plan to deal with T'Pol.

Jon had suggested he woo T'Pol with a date on Ensa. The problem was they had been called to an emergency on Primus One instead and shore leave had been temporarily cancelled. No off-ship time meant taking his wife on a date was proving to be a challenge. But, Trip knew, he needed to win her over somehow; keep her on board Enterprise a little longer so he could show her they were meant to be together.

The trouble was, he wasn't even sure they were meant to be together at this point. If he were to be honest with himself, brutally honest, life would be easier without her. Trip hated that that thought even crossed his mind, but it did. She wasn't the woman he married and, it seemed, never would be again. Could he love this version of T'Pol? Could this version learn to love him? Not if she was divorcing him.

Trip sat for a long time on their bed trying to read a book about head injuries Phlox had recommended, but his mind kept drifting back to that questions: was this the right thing to do? Would they be happier apart?

Giving up on the book, he lay on the floor of their room and started to do some stretches. He twisted his body to the side and held the position for a long time as his mind wandered to the puzzle that was T'Pol. Trip switched positions and lifted his legs into the air pulling his feet toward his head and stretching out the backs of his tired legs as he still considered what to do about his wife. Time and time again he switched from one position to another pondering his future, her future and their future together and he came to one sad conclusion: she wanted out and he loved her too much to force her to stay.

It was with this revelation that Trip lay flat on the floor of their quarters and cried. He cried for the future that wasn't meant to be, the wife he'd lost, the past only he remembered, and the broken heart that was finally accepting its fate. And it was there that Trip finally fell asleep, exhausted from work, life, heartache, and a decision that had been a long time coming.

It was in this position that he woke because someone was touching his face. When his eyes finally adjusted he saw T'Pol's face hovering over his, her hands on his jaw.

"What…what are you…?" Trip mumbled in his sleepy state.

"I'm performing neuropressure on your nodes," T'Pol said as she focused on the man before her.

"Am I…?" Trip asked as he started to sit up.

"You are still on the floor," T'Pol said softly. "I found you like this when I arrived back. You obviously needed your rest but some muscles in your shoulder and arm were spasming as you slept. I decided to see if I could help."

"Thank you," Trip said, still slightly groggy.

"I hope it helps," T'Pol said. "It is my understanding I performed neuropressure on you often."

"Uh, for a while it was nightly," Trip said as he admired her soft features as they hovered over his face. "Then less often."

He felt her pressure release and she moved back. "Roll onto your stomach."

Trip gingerly rolled onto his stomach and lay waiting. He could feel her trying to gain access to some nodes but felt her frustration at his shirt being in the way.

"I usually don't have my shirt on," Trip offered.

"Oh, well, then…please remove it," T'Pol said.

Trip got up on his knees and pulled the shirt over his head and threw it into a corner then laid back down on his stomach.

"Better?" Trip asked.

"Yes," T'Pol said with a nod.

He felt T'Pol place pressure on some nodes on his back and, minutes later, felt the release as it happened inside him.

"God," Trip sighed. "I almost forgot how good this felt."

T'Pol carefully and methodically worked on his back, easing the stress and strain of his tight muscles. She couldn't believe how bad his condition was. She had noticed his discomfort and watched him gently stretching in his chair or on his bed sometimes, but the level of muscle tightness and strain in his body should have had him incapacitated at this point.

An hour later, she had him in a final posture. He was laying face up again and she was kneeling between his legs and putting pressure on his hips. If Trip closed his eyes he could imagine things were fine; they weren't, but it was worth imagining.

"How do you feel?" T'Pol asked as she eased up and sat back on her heels between his legs.

"Wonderful," Trip sighed as he stretched his arms overhead. "Thank you."

"You are welcome," T'Pol said as she watched him relax for the first time in a long time.

"T'Pol," Trip said as he slowly sat up and looked at her. She was sitting on her knees between his legs; now was as good a time as ever to discuss the letter. "You left the letter to your mother open on the computer the other day and…and I read it."

T'Pol's eyes went wide and she rolled back onto her rear end, placing more distance between them.

"So, you know?"

"About the divorce lawyer and the job? Yeah," Trip said honestly.

"It's not a divorce, it's a nullification," T'Pol said.

"It's still not being married anymore," Trip said softly.

"It hasn't been a marriage for a while," T'Pol said as she met his eyes.

"Can't we…isn't there something we can do?" Trip asked, he knew what her answer would be, but he had to try.

T'Pol looked at him confused for a moment before she answered. "It is past that point."

Trip reached forward and took her hand in his. "I'll do anything. I am just not ready to give up. I know it's obvious you are but…"

"It's not my choice to make," T'Pol said as she looked at him perplexed.

"What can I do to change your mind?" Trip asked, his voice cracking slightly. The conclusion he'd come to before he fell asleep was long forgotten now. He didn't want to be the good husband who gave her up because that was what she wanted; damn it, he wanted her.

"You are unusually emotionally invested in this," T'Pol said as she eyed him suspiciously.

"Of course, I am! You're my wife!" Trip snapped at her.

"And you've only met them twice," T'Pol said as she looked at Trip like he may need his head examined.

"Met who twice?" Trip inquired.

"My parents," T'Pol answered.

"What do your parents have to do with this? Did they convince you to do this?" Trip asked, worried.

"To do what?" T'Pol asked.

"Divorce me," Trip replied, angry.

"Divorce you?" T'Pol inquired, perplexed.

"Yes, you want a divorce and have a job set on Vulcan," Trip explained quickly.

"I'm sorry?" T'Pol asked, confused.

"You're leaving me, but you said six months and…"

"Charles, I am not leaving you," T'Pol said assuredly.

"No, you're nullifying our relat…"

"My parents are nullifying their marriage," T'Pol explained clearly. "My mother has accepted a new position with the High Command."

"I'm…I'm sorry?" Trip stuttered.

"You thought I was nullifying our marriage and moving back to Vulcan?" T'Pol asked.

"You're not?" Trip asked, surprised.

"No," T'Pol clearly replied.

"But…but…the letter…" Trip said perplexed.

"The letter was about my parents deciding to nullify their marriage and a new job that my mother was qualified to take and was asking for my advice," T'Pol said as she looked at him strangely. "You thought it was about me?"

"I thought it was about you," Trip sighed as realization hit him. "Oh, thank god."

Trip pulled her into a tight embrace, but she remained stiff in his arms; at this moment he didn't even give a damn about that.

"Thank you," Trip said softly as he released her.

"For what am I being thanked?" T'Pol inquired as they broke apart.

"For not deciding to leave me, I know things haven't been…great," Trip sighed as he scrubbed at his face. "Hell, they haven't even been good. But I'd like us to try."

"Try?" T'Pol asked.

"Look," he said as he leaned into her slightly. "The woman I love is still in there somewhere and even if she never makes a re-appearance, you are still her…just in an earlier form. I still love you. I want us to stop worrying about you getting your memories back, if they come back all the better, but maybe we need to start making some new memories."

T'Pol raised an eyebrow and looked at him.

"I'd like to take you on a date," Trip said with a smirk.

"We're married," T'Pol said logically.

"I do know that," Trip chuckled. "But, if you haven't noticed, our marriage isn't doing too well right about now."

"Agreed," T'Pol nodded.

"So, one way to fix that is to get to know one another as more than…roommates," Trip started. "Humans date, I know for Vulcans it's more of a formalized and somewhat supervised courting ritual after families have arranged a marriage…maybe we can combine the two?"

"What do you propose?" T'Pol asked.

"I'm thinking we go to movie night, where we are supervised. But have some dinner alone here before hand," Trip offered. "Maybe some dessert in the mess after the film?"

"That seems like a nice evening," T'Pol nodded.

"Good, because it's movie night tomorrow and that gives me just enough time to arrange food with chef," Trip said as he clapped his hands together.

"How about I arrange the dinner and you find out what movie is being screened," T'Pol offered as she rose to her feet.

"You want to help plan the date?" Trip asked, surprised.

"Of course," T'Pol nodded.

"Great," Trip smiled at her as he too stood.

XXXX

"Why was he disappointed in her choice?" T'Pol asked Trip as they rose from their seats, dinner in their quarters had gone surprisingly well.

"It's not that he was disappointed," Trip explained as he reached for the comm. "It was that he expected her to follow in his footsteps."

"And become a chemist?" T'Pol asked.

"You can pick up the plates now Kelly," Trip said into t he comm before he took his finger off the button. "She'd practically lived in the lab with him as a teenager…but when she became pregnant, she and my dad got married."

"But she did become a scientist, a biologist," T'Pol noted.

"Yeah, but it was a lot of work with a toddler in the house," Trip said before he opened the door to the hallway and gestured for her to walk ahead of him. "She was technically pregnant with me when she graduated."

"And she managed to have you and start a career?" T'Pol asked.

"She did," Trip nodded as they walked along the hallway. "She had a new job at Dow and only took one month off with me."

"Who cared for you?" T'Pol asked, surprised.

"My grandma," Trip said. "Which is why we were so close."

"She is deceased?" T'Pol asked.

"Yeah, seven years ago," Trip sighed.

"I grieve with thee," T'Pol said formally.

"Thanks," Trip said softly.

"So, your parents didn't raise you?" T'Pol asked.

"Oh no, they did," Trip said. "But my grandmother did most of the child-rearing Monday to Friday."

"That was generous of her to spend her golden years caring for young children, so your mother could work, was it financially necessary?"

"My mother working? I guess," Trip shrugged. "She took a few months off when she had my sister, but that was about it. We weren't rich, but we did fine."

"Vulcan mothers leave work for a period of four to seven years to care for their children," T'Pol said.

"Your mother stayed home with you for six years," Trip said. "My grandma was with me until then as well."

"How did she die?" T'Pol asked.

"Brain aneurysm," Trip said. "Caught everyone by surprise. She was gone almost immediately."

"That must have been a challenge," T'Pol said as they approached the mess hall.

"It was," Trip sighed as the doors opened and they walked inside.

"Hoshi still won't divulge the movie title?" T'Pol asked.

"Nope," Trip said as he looked for some seats. "There's a couple in the third row. Do you want popcorn?"

"No," T'Pol replied. "But I'd appreciate some tea."

"Comin' up," Trip said as he left her side.

T'Pol sat down in the empty seats and just as she was about to take a moment to centre herself the Captain sat down next to her.

"I am saving that seat for Charles," T'Pol indicated.

"I know," Jon said as he looked at her carefully. "I just thought I'd check in with you."

"Check in?" T'Pol questioned.

"Yeah, we haven't had much time to chat recently and…"

"I am doing well," T'Pol said.

"You and Trip had a private dinner tonight?" Jon asked.

"We did," T'Pol nodded.

"So, things are going well?"

"You mean with our marriage?" T'Pol asked.

"Not to get too personal but, yes," Jon said as he crossed one leg over another.

"You are concerned for Charles," T'Pol realized.

"I am," Jon admitted.

"I have no intention of hurting Charles," T'Pol noted.

"I know you don't want to hurt him," Jon nodded. "But you could, very easily."

T'Pol said nothing in return.

"I don't mean to interfere," Jon said. "But, be careful with him, okay?"

T'Pol nodded in agreement.

"How are you finding your work?" Jon asked, changing the subject to something more neutral.

"Fulfilling," T'Pol said as she clasped her hands in her lap.

"Hoshi give away the title yet?" Trip asked as he approached them.

"I tried to order her," Jon chuckled as he rose from the chair. "But that didn't go over well, either."

Just then the lights lowered.

"Well, I guess we'll know soon enough," Trip sighed as he sat down in the chair recently vacated by the Captain.

"What'd the Captain want?"

"He was just making sure that everything was well," T'Pol said before the music started for the film.

They watched the romantic comedy Wine in the Willows with the others. It was a recent film that had been a hit on earth about six months ago; no one on board had access to the film so it was received with a lot of fanfare.

Several people were crying at the end of the film; the main female character succumbed to radiation poisoning. Trip looked toward T'Pol and she looked perplexed.

"Everything okay?" Trip asked her.

"He's a broken man," T'Pol said.

"He lost the love of his life, of course he's broken," Trip nodded as he wiped at the corner of his eye.

T'Pol looked at Trip concerned but said nothing.

The lights came up and everyone started to talk about the film. Trip leaned back in his seat and teased Travis for crying and T'Pol took the opportunity to get up and leave the room.

Trip looked around a few minutes later and, not finding her, wondered where T'Pol had gone.

XXX

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Note: Please see notes in chapter 1. Italics indicate a bond space interaction.

XXX

Trip jogged down the hallway towards Sick Bay. Phlox had sounded un-nerved when he called Trip in Engineering to let him know that T'Pol was not well. Nothing had happened on board that he knew of, so it probably wasn't serious, but that still didn't make him slow down.

The doors to Sick Bay opened and he pounced inside and looked around for his wife.

"T'Pol?" Trip asked to no one in particular.

"Ah Commander," Phlox said as he walked around a closed curtain. "I have sedated her and…"

"Sedated?" Trip asked, stepping toward him.

"She's having some extreme headaches," Phlox said. "They are getting progressively worse and…"

"When has she been having these?" Trip asked.

"The last few days, apparently," Phlox said. "She was trying to deal with them with meditation but…"

"She has been meditating a lot lately…" Trip added.

"Has she said anything else to you?" Phlox asked.

"She's been working a lot," Trip said. "We made plans for Ensa in two days but…honestly, I haven't seen much of her with the warp drive coil issues."

Phlox nodded and sighed.

"Her cerebral cortex is overloaded," Phlox explained. "Her synaptic pathways are operating at almost 100% and…"

"Wait, what's all this mean?" Trip asked as he leaned into the doctor.

"It means she's experiencing more than severe headaches," Phlox said calmly. "I think she's at risk of long term damage if she keeps…"

"Like brain damage?" Trip asked, surprised.

"I think it's caused by her constant block of your bond," Phlox explained. "She has taxed her system with this defence pattern."

"She won't lift it," Trip said, placing his hands on his hips and sighing.

"She absolutely must," Phlox said with authority.

"Can I see her?" Trip asked.

Phlox nodded towards the closed curtain and watched Trip walk toward it.

Trip walked around the curtain and looked at her frail body laying on the biobed. He took her limp hand in his and leaned down to kiss her softly on the forehead. As he pulled back her eyes opened, and he smiled down at her.

"Why haven't you told me about the headaches?" Trip asked her softly, his face hovering over hers.

"I have handled them," T'Pol said, her voice weak.

"Until you didn't," Trip said with a quirked eyebrow.

"Until I didn't," T'Pol agreed quietly.

"Phlox said you could suffer from brain damage if you don't lift your block," Trip said as he looked down at her seriously. "Logically you must."

T'Pol sighed and said nothing. It had been over three months since her accident and their relationship had been daily work. He was still sleeping on a cot, she was still blocking their bond, but she had started performing neuropressure on him a few weeks ago, they had gone on three movie night dates, and ate one meal alone a couple of times a week. It was…progress?

"Darlin' I don't think it's worth the brain damage," Trip smirked down at her. "I'm not that scary, I promise."

"I am not afraid," T'Pol said primly.

"Oh really?" Trip asked with a smirk. "Then what's keeping you from lifting it?"

"I am not used to dealing with human emotions and the on slot of yours could overwhelm my system and make me unable to perform my duties," T'Pol explained logically.

"I think the Captain can spare you for a few days while you adjust," Trip said softly. "I'm First Officer so I'll order you off for a few days, sound good? I'll even try and temper my emotions, so you don't get…overwhelmed."

T'Pol said nothing in return.

"T'Pol?" Trip asked.

"Fine," she said softly. "Please call Phlox over."

"That's my girl," Trip smiled down at her before he looked around the curtain and called Phlox to her bedside.

Moments later, the Denobulan appeared.

"You've decided to lift the block?" Phlox asked as he reached for a monitor near her head.

"I will attempt it," T'Pol sighed. Trip could see how nervous she was.

"Let me just hook up this monitor first so I can monitor your cerebral output and…" Phlox muttered as he attached some equipment to monitors and those monitors to the side of T'Pol's face.

Trip took the opportunity to hold her hand in his, clear his thoughts, and focus on happy healing feelings that were tempered and not too strong. He wanted her first experience in their bond to be a pleasant one.

"Whenever you are ready," Phlox told T'Pol. "Go easy, and…"

He looked at Commander Tucker and noted his closed eyes and calm demeanor. His warning for him to have soft, calm thoughts was obviously not needed.

"Go ahead," Phlox nodded toward T'Pol.

She looked at Charles and saw that he was focusing quite intently on their bond. She really hoped she was not going to be flooded with intense romantic and sexual emotions from him immediately.

 _T'Pol lifted the block and found herself in a white space with Charles. They were dressed in casual clothing and he was smiling at her. The place was calm and serene, it was the exact space she went to when she meditated._

" _You are in my meditative space," T'Pol said to him._

" _Technically it's our space, and you let me change it up regularly, but I thought you may not find a beach as comforting as this," Charles said as he approached her slowly._

" _You have the capacity to change this space?" T'Pol asked astounded._

" _You've taught me a lot," Trip said back._

" _Show me," T'Pol said, unbelieving._

 _He smiled at her and the space suddenly changed to an unfamiliar beach._

" _This is a beach I used to go to with my family when I was younger," Trip said quietly as he looked around._

 _The scene changed again. This time, it was a porch with a swing overlooking a field._

" _This is my grandparents farm," Trip said with a soft smile._

 _The scene changed again. They were standing on a cliff overlooking the ocean._

" _And this was my favorite spot to visit when Starfleet was getting a bit overwhelming."_

" _They are all very beautiful," T'Pol said as she looked around._

" _You were helping me work on a few more, but they aren't ready to use yet," Trip explained as the space around them turned back to the white one she was used to._

" _I am surprised by your abilities," T'Pol said honestly._

" _I had a lot of trouble adjusting to the bond," Trip admitted. "You helped me a lot."_

" _Did I have as much trouble?" T'Pol asked him, "I sense hesitancy."_

" _You were scared you'd cause me brain damage," Trip chuckled as he sent a memory of their discussion through the bond. T'Pol received the memory and watched it play out before her before she spoke again._

" _You are, obviously, not brain damaged," T'Pol noted._

 _Trip chuckled, it was the happiest he'd felt in weeks, possibly months._

" _No, my brain is perfectly in tact," Trip chuckled._

" _What did you need my assistance with in the bond, at first?" T'Pol asked._

" _Privacy," Trip indicated. "I wasn't used to sharing my…my headspace with another person. I wanted a certain measure of privacy."_

 _Just then, Trip sent her a memory of their conversation about privacy. They were in bed, cuddling and talking._

" _So, I helped you construct spaces to hold some private details about yourself," T'Pol nodded._

" _Something like that," Trip hedged. "You assured me you wouldn't invade these spaces back then. I'd like that same assurance now."_

 _T'Pol looked at him surprised._

" _I would never 'invade' those spaces," T'Pol said assuredly. "Your blocks are weak?"_

" _Apparently," Trip muttered. "You said over time I'd be able to strengthen them."_

" _I am prepared to assist you with that, when you are ready," T'Pol said as she clasped her hands behind her back._

" _Thank you," Trip nodded._

" _Do we use the bond for basic communication or meditation or…" T'Pol questioned._

" _A bit of everything," Trip said as he rubbed at his jaw. "Sometimes you or I will call out to the other if we need assistance, instead of comm'ing"_

 _Trip sent her a few memories of them doing this and she nodded when she was done watching them._

" _Does it feel like you now have your memories back?" Trip asked her, intrigued._

" _It feels like I am watching myself in memories that I don't have," T'Pol said calmly. "I recognize that I am there, that they are my memories, but I don't feel a connection to them as if I have experienced them myself."_

" _That must feel very…disconcerting," Trip said. "Do you want me to stop showing them to you or…?"_

" _No, please continue," T'Pol nodded._

" _Okay. Well, sometimes it's just a relaxing space to talk," Trip said as he sent her memories of the two of them sitting and eating in the mess while they spoke in their space._

" _Sometimes we go here during meditation or neuropressure," Trip said as he sent her a couple of favorite memories of their time together then._

" _And sometimes we just use it to check in with the other when we sense fatigue, or upset, or any other strong emotion," Trip said softly as he showed her a sweet memory of her placing a hand over his heart as she asked him over the bond what was troubling him._

 _T'Pol took a moment to absorb these memories before she spoke. She would be able to access them all, and an infinite number of other bond-related interactions whenever she wanted, but Charles had shown her these ones._

" _I touch you a lot," T'Pol said quietly._

 _Trip looked at her surprised and somewhat confused._

" _Yeah, you do," he agreed. "You surprised me with that as well."_

" _You expected me to be cold?" T'Pol asked._

 _Trip suppressed a laugh._

" _No, you aren't cold at all," Trip said softly. "I just expected your touch to be something that was sporadic, private, and only in intense situations."_

" _Please explain," T'Pol asked._

" _Uh, I knew you'd touch me when we were alone, but I expected that touch to not happen as frequently as it did. You would hold my hand, touch my chest, caress the side of my face, place a hand on my knee…all of it casual and not necessarily attached to a sexual encounter. You'd physically touch me… just cause."_

" _Interesting," T'Pol said as she met his eyes. "Touch is important to humans, so I wonder if I was trying to model acceptable human interaction?"_

" _No, that wasn't it," Trip smiled at her. He then sent her a memory of their conversation about touch. In it, they were sitting cozily on a chair together in his quarters. She was telling him how she had always admired other species ability to casually touch and show affection._

 _T'Pol shifted before him; it was true. She had always admired that, even from an early age._

 _They stood in silence for a while, she coming to terms with the fact that this man knew many of her deepest and darkest secrets and he knowing that he had to tell her about the last things he'd been keeping from her._

" _T'Pol," Trip said as he approached her and took her hand in his. "There are a couple of things you need to know."_

 _She looked at him confused._

" _I have been keeping them from you because they are upsetting, but now, with the bond open, you need to know these things before you come across them."_

 _T'Pol merely nodded and said nothing._

 _Trip started with P'Jem. He showed her his memories of Jon telling him about her tribunal. He could see the shock on her face but ploughed forward. He then showed her memories of her talking with him about it and the shame she expressed._

" _But it wasn't your fault," Trip ended the memories. "You were their scapegoat."_

 _T'Pol nodded. "I would like to explore this more on my own, in private."_

 _Trip nodded, he half expected her to say that._

" _Then there was a time that you…well, you got into…you became an addict," Trip said softly as he caressed the backs of her hands with his thumbs._

" _What?!" T'Pol snapped._

 _Trip closed his eyes and sent her the memory of their conversation about her main-lining Trellium-D. She spoke of the feelings it allowed her to access, the addictive behaviour and her shame._

 _T'Pol slowly let go of his hands and sat on the ground before him. Trip joined her and sat across from her._

" _You got help from Phlox and stopped," he said softly. "But, the effects are still there. Which is probably why you almost giving yourself brain damage trying to block our bond. You have and express many emotions now, mostly through our bond."_

 _Trip then sent her memories of her laughing, crying, and being excited or angry in their bond space. It was a picture of herself that this T'Pol found disturbing._

" _I know it's hard to reconcile but…"_

" _I'd like more time on my own with these memories," T'Pol interrupted him. "Is that all that you need to reveal?"_

 _Trip wiped his finger along his lower lip._

" _No," he said softly as he placed a hand on her knee. "There's Elizabeth."_

" _Elizabeth?" T'Pol inquired._

" _Our daughter," Trip sighed._

" _We have no offspring residing with us or…"_

" _She died," Trip said softly._

" _I have had your child?" T'Pol asked, surprised._

" _Uh, no," Trip said. "She was a clone made with our illegally harvested DNA."_

 _Then Trip sent her a series of memories about Elizabeth. Finding out about her, finding her, loving her, watching her die, and grieving her. He hadn't thought about that pain since T'Pol's accident and Trip found himself crying as he watched images of T'Pol weeping in his arms, shaking in her sleep, waking with nightmares as she called out to their child…_

 _When he opened his eyes, he saw T'Pol sitting across from him with tear tracks down her face as well. It was shocking to see this version of T'Pol so upset._

" _I'm so sorry darlin'" Trip said softly as he reached over and wiped away a tear. "If I could have saved her I would have. If I could have spared you the memories…I would have."_

 _T'Pol allowed his soft touch and actually found herself leaning into his hand slightly and brushing her cheek against his palm. Trip was surprised by the action but quickly blocked that emotion before she received it and became scared or self-conscious._

" _We loved her," T'Pol said softly._

" _We did, very much," Trip said quietly._

 _They sat in silence for a long time just existing with the memory of Elizabeth._

" _I would like us to exit the bond now," T'Pol said as she met his eyes._

" _Of course," Trip smiled weakly at her._

The white space then disappeared and T'Pol found herself back on a biobed with Trip looking down at her. Immediately her hand went to her face to cover the tear tracks.

"You don't have any," Trip said softly. "It just happened in the bond."

She nodded and placed her hand back down.

Trip stood up and straightened his back, twisting to ease the ache of the bent position he had been in while they were in the bond space.

"Ah, you are back," Phlox said as he noted the movement and walked toward them. "Your cerebral cortex readings are almost completely normal again. I would highly suggest you allow the bond to take its natural form as it is easing the pressure on your cranium."

"I will leave it open," T'Pol said as she started to sit.

"Wait a second, you are still suffering from a severe headache," Phlox warned as he eased her back down to a laying position. "I'd like to keep you here for a few more hours and I'd highly suggest you allow Commander Tucker to perform neuropressure on you from now on to ease the symptoms."

"I can do that," Trip offered.

"Fine," T'Pol sighed.

"I better get back to Engineering then," Trip said as he leaned over and kissed her softly on the forehead. He knew he was taking a big chance with that move, but felt she needed some reassurance after all the memories they'd shared. "I'll see you back in our quarters?"

"I have a shift from…"

"Off duty for three days," Trip said with a smirk. "Under my orders."

T'Pol narrowed her eyes at him annoyed. "You are taking advantage of your position of authority over me and…"

"Whatever it takes," Trip smiled down at her before he started to walk away. "Get some rest."

He left Sick Bay and an annoyed and confused T'Pol behind him. The sense of relief his entire being felt now that their bond was restored made Trip feel as if he'd slept an entire week on the comfiest bed he's ever encountered.


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Note: Please see notes in Chapter 1. Italics indicate a bond space interaction. If you read the chapter, review the chapter!

XXX

" _T'Pol?" Trip asked over the bond._

" _Yes?" She replied._

" _Everything okay?" He asked, concerned. He got a sudden spike in emotion from her just a minute ago as he was in the middle of an Engineering staff meeting._

" _I'm fine," she replied evenly._

" _What bond memory are you looking at?" Trip asked as he looked at Hess and nodded for her to continue with her presentation on efficiency._

" _I would prefer to talk about this in person," T'Pol said annoyed._

" _Okay," Trip sighed. "I won't bother you anymore."_

 _T'Pol watched the memory play out before her. They were in their bond arguing about her dismissal of his feelings. Apparently, after Elizabeth, she'd turned into herself for a time. She'd barely communicated with him, considered leaving for Vulcan to grieve, and their relationship had taken a turn for the worse. T'Pol watched as Charles argued with her and finally resorted to striking a deal with her. They would go to Vulcan together to deliver Elizabeth's katra and he would stop bugging her about her feelings._

 _She seemed to reluctantly agree. T'Pol could tell that she was having issues dealing with the force of his emotions in their bond and was protecting herself from them, so she could deal with her own grief. She was also sure that T'Pol didn't tell Charles this because he would feel guilty._

 _The grief she could feel emanating off both of them was powerful and caught T'Pol by surprise. She had no doubt they loved their child, but the loss of her was almost unbearable for them both. At the end of the bond memory T'Pol walked toward Charles and he opened his arms to her. Despite their harsh words, they still, obviously, quite loved each other. She watched T'Pol nuzzle into his shoulder and close her eyes as he embraced her in his arms. He kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes._

" _I love you," T'Pol said quietly. "I'm sorry."_

" _I know you are," he said quietly back. "I love you so much darlin' it hurts sometimes."_

 _She watched as T'Pol nodded her head against him in understanding and burrowed deeper into his embrace._

T'Pol pulled out of the bond and sighed. She was hurting Charles; she was hurting him a great deal with her loss of memory and behaviour. T'Pol had no doubt that he loved her and that she had once loved him…loved him a great deal. But right now, she was only causing him pain. T'Pol resolved, in that moment that she was going to do something about it. Something very un-Vulcan, but something she was sure, her old self would approve of.

XXX

"How's that?" Trip asked her as he released the pressure on her neck.

"Better," she said softly as she waited for the next posture instruction.

"Roll onto your back," he said softly as she felt him climb off her back.

He had been giving her neuropressure the last few days to counter the horrible headaches she'd been dealing with. T'Pol had to admit, he was quite versed at the practice; she had taught him well. She had also noted how sexually charged the practice seemed. He was blocking any sexual thoughts he had about her, but the barrier was thin, and she could still sense his need on the other side. She could also see his erection, despite the loose pants and his attempts to keep that part of his body away from her. It had been three and a half months since her accident and she was sure he was sexually frustrated. All of this was working into her very un-Vulcan-like plan.

He positioned himself at her head and leaned over to place his fingers on her sternum. She closed her eyes and took several deep breaths as the pressure increased. She could smell his masculine aroma, despite the shower, mixed with pheromones. When the posture was complete he sat back on his heels and looked down at her.

"I'll get you some tea," he said before he started to rise but was stopped by her hand on his knee. "T'Pol?"

"Wait," she said as she sat up slowly and positioned herself in front of him, facing him.

"Is there another posture you need?" Trip asked, thinking through his list of headache postures and trying to remember the one he forgot.

"No," T'Pol said as she leaned into him and took his lips with hers.

His response was immediate. He pulled her against him and kissed her soundly. In her current memory, T'Pol had only ever been kissed by her mother so this was something completely foreign. His arms were wrapped tightly around her, his mouth and tongue moving over her like a thing possessed, and his body was smashed up against hers, his erection apparent.

They kissed for an incredibly long time while his hands roved along her back, to her waist and up to her shoulder blades. She had placed her hands on his shoulder blades and there they stayed as she looked for any memory or feeling in this moment. Logically, T'Pol knew there was no memory recurrence, but physically, her body responded to his as if this wasn't a strange and completely unsanitary experience. Somehow, quite illogically, she knew him. She knew him in this primal, physical, affectionate way. The concept baffled T'Pol's logical mind; how could she not remember P'Jem or her daughter, but remember this…this sexual and romantic existence with this man who she knew was her husband, but right now was just a colleague.

She was in the middle of one of these chains of logical reasoning when the kiss ended, and he pulled back to look at her.

"T'Pol?" He inquired, hopeful.

"I…" T'Pol started and then stopped.

"No kissing the memories back?" Trip asked with a smirk.

"No," T'Pol said softly. "But there is something. I…I know you. I know…this."

"How do you mean?" He asked, hopeful.

"I am not kissing my colleague," T'Pol said softly. "I know that this is normal, expected…wanted."

Trip looked at her more confused.

"Logically it makes no sense that…"

"Forget the logic and just speak to me," Trip said as he looked her in the eyes.

T'Pol looked away from his gaze and down at the floor.

"It's just you and me here," Trip said as he guided her chin up with his finger.

She shifted uncomfortably in front of him for a moment before she settled and looked at him square on.

"Our physical relationship must have had a profound effect on me," T'Pol said softly. "I know I want you, sexually. I know I enjoy this, physically. I know that I love you, emotionally. I know that I need you, psychologically. But I have no memory of you beyond that of my colleague Commander Charles Tucker, the third. Logically…"

"Hey, wait, we're forgetting logic for a moment, remember?" Trip said seriously. "You know you love me when we kiss?"

"I know from the bond as well," T'Pol added.

"Okay, but what was different about this experience?" Trip asked, interested in getting her to talk some more.

"My hormone levels rose, my salivary glands…"

"No, in here," Trip said as he placed a hand on her upper abdomen, where he knew her heart existed.

T'Pol sighed and shifted, looking anywhere but at him.

"I know…I know it belongs to you, and you alone," she said softly as she snuck a quick glance at him.

Trip smiled broadly and pulled her into a tight embrace.

"That kiss was amazing darlin," he said with such happiness. "But those words…I can't even begin to tell you how much they mean."

T'Pol returned his embrace and they hugged for a long time before he released her and they both stood. He kissed her on the forehead and asked if she needed to meditate before bed.

T'Pol was surprised by his actions; she assumed he would want sexual activity form her now that they had established a physical relationship.

"You do not wish to have sexual relations?" She asked, concerned.

Trip looked at her surprised.

"I definitely wish to have sexual relations, but we aren't, until you want to," he said as he met her eyes and reached for her hand. "I know you are overwhelmed by what we just did and said, and you're going to need to process it. So, I'm going to take a cold shower and you are going to mediate."

Trip reached into a cupboard for a towel and walked past her into the washroom and shut the door. T'Pol was left standing in stunned silence. She was sure he would take her suggestion and go into immediate action and bed her. She stood for a long time listening to him singing in the shower before she lit the candles and sat down to mediate about why her human husband was so unpredictable.

XXX


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note: Please see notes in Chapter 1.** _ **Italics indicate bond interactions**_ **.**

XXXX

T'Pol Tucker was starring at the paperwork in front of her frozen. It was medical forms that had been forwarded to her before their stop on Earth that she was expected to fill out before an appointment. Apparently, she had an appointment at a fertility clinic that Charles had not told her about.

"Are you about ready to go to the mess?" Trip asked as he stepped out of the washroom clean and dressed.

"Why did you not inform me that we were trying to have a child?" T'Pol asked Trip as she held out the PADD with the documents on it.

"What?!" Trip asked as he took the PADD from her.

"I have an appointment at a fertility clinic in a week," T'Pol said as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"What?!" Trip asked as he quickly read the form. "When…a fertility clinic?"

"You are unaware of this appointment?" T'Pol asked him.

"Of course, I am!" Trip snapped as he read through the original e-mail. "She sent this…you sent this a month before we were married. The…the day after I proposed."

"I hadn't paid attention to the dates," T'Pol admitted.

"We weren't even married, and you were making plans for a baby…" Trip said as he sat heavily on her bed, starring at the PADD.

"Apparently," T'Pol said as he handed her back the PADD.

"I knew you wanted another child but…" Trip stammered.

"But?" T'Pol asked.

"You must have really wanted another child," Trip said as he looked at her with a perplexed expression. "You made this appointment, literally, the morning after I proposed. I…I…I just need a minute."

Charles rose from her bed and quickly walked out of their quarters shielding his eyes slightly. T'Pol watched him, concerned. His abrupt departure was…problematic and his blockage of their bond even more so. He was obviously upset about the fertility information; she wasn't sure if it was because he didn't desire children, or he greatly desired them. She also wasn't sure why she would not share this appointment with him.

T'Pol looked back at the fertility clinic information and clicked on some of the doctors who worked at the facility. Several were Vulcan, most Human, one Denobulan, and one Eska. That didn't answer any more of her questions. She finally relented and e-mailed the Vulcan doctor who was attached to her appointment.

T'Pol looked at the closed door and thought of her husband; he was obviously upset and she, as his wife, should attempt to rectify the situation. Rising from her seat, she left their quarters in search of Charles. He was not in the mess, Engineering, the observation lounge, the bridge, or Sick Bay. She doubled back toward their quarters and suddenly thought of a place he still could be; the greenhouse. T'Pol wasn't sure why, but she had a strong feeling that, even though he was blocking her, he was there.

When she walked in she saw him sitting on a side ledge wiping at his eyes. He'd been crying.

"What are you doing here?" Trip asked her as he looked away from her.

"I was worried about you," T'Pol offered.

"I thought Vulcans didn't worry?" Trip chuckled, still not looking at her as he used his sleeve to wipe his face.

"You are upset," T'Pol said clearly.

"I'm fine," Trip answered.

"You're still blocking me," T'Pol mentioned.

"Well, you blocked me for over three months," Trip chuckled sadly. "I think I'm entitled to an hour or two."

T'Pol sighed and walked toward him, perching herself on the ledge next to him and waiting for him to speak.

It was almost five minutes before she broke the silence.

"You haven't told me that there was a proposal," T'Pol said, introducing the topic she knew was sensitive.

"Of course, there was," Trip sighed. "How do you think we got married?"

"I assumed we just agreed that it was time to formalize our relationship," T'Pol said, honestly.

"I asked you to marry me, and you agreed," Trip said softly.

"That was all there was to the proposal?" T'Pol asked.

"No, I…do you really want to hear this?" Trip asked.

T'Pol nodded.

"I made you dinner," Trip said as he blushed. "I had to bribe Chef to let me take over his kitchen but eventually he relented."

"What did you make me?" T'Pol asked.

"Sassume," Trip said with a smirk. "You said it was the best you'd ever tasted."

"It's a very complicated dish," T'Pol noted.

"Hell yes, it is," Trip chuckled.

"So, you made me Sassume and I agreed to marry you?" T'Pol asked.

"I made you Sassume, then I got down on one knee, right here, and told you how much I loved you, and then I asked if you would honour me by becoming my wife," Trip said as he looked at her out of the corner of his eye.

"And I accepted," T'Pol said as she watched him carefully. "It was here in the greenhouse that we ate dinner and you proposed?"

"Yes. One of the proudest moments of my life," Trip smirked as he reached for her hand and took it absently in his. "To think that when you woke up the next morning, having a baby was your first thought…well…that's something."

"Why would that have been so important so quickly?" T'Pol asked him.

"I don't know that answer to that question darlin'," Trip sighed. "I'm sorry, only you know that."

"I contacted the doctor attached to my file at the clinic to see if he could enlighten me about the nature of my appointment," T'Pol said quietly. "He's Vulcan."

"Hopefully, he can tell you why you didn't share this with me," Trip sighed and looked absently at some plants, her hand still gripped in his.

"Perhaps I hadn't thought to tell you until closer to the appointment," T'Pol offered, knowing part of his upset was the secrecy of the appointment.

"Maybe," Trip said quietly.

They sat perched on the edge, side-by-side for a couple of minutes before she broke the silence again.

"Is the reason you are upset that you don't wish to have children, or that you want offspring quite badly?" T'Pol inquired.

Trip snuck a sideways glance at her and wiped at his one eye.

"Look, when we got serious, I knew we probably wouldn't be able to have children," Trip started. "And we both accepted that until…"

"Elizabeth," T'Pol said softly as she met his eyes.

"She was the possibility that fed the fire," Trip smirked at her. "We talked about trying to have another, when we were ready, and when the doctors had a better handle on the Vulcan-Human DNA mix."

"You want a child? After the loss of Elizabeth, I would think…"

"If we could have another child, a healthy child," Trip said as he met her eyes. "Darlin' that's what we both wanted. We wanted that quite badly. Despite the loss of Elizabeth."

T'Pol nodded in understanding.

"But now with everything else," Trip sighed as he let go of her hand and stood. "Well, I guess it just reminded me that I need to be more realistic and go back to the idea that children aren't in our future. It hit me a little hard, but I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?" T'Pol looked at him, doubtful.

"I am," Trip said softly as he closed his eyes. "Let's focus on you…on us…another being added to this equation is a recipe for disaster."

"Agreed," T'Pol said softly. "I'll contact the doctor again and tell him to ignore my first request for information."

"In the end," Trip said as he gestured for her to walk ahead of him. "It doesn't really matter right now why or when you made that appointment. Just cancel it, alright?"

T'Pol nodded and walked out of the greenhouse ahead of him.

XXX


	11. Chapter 11

Author's Note: Please see notes in Chapter 1. Anything in italics is a bond interaction.

Warning: Some graphic sex ahead.

XXX

 _Trip Tucker was dreaming for the first time in a long time. It was a strange dream and not like any other he'd had, but it was pleasant in its own unique way._

 _T'Pol was kissing him, laying on top of him, her whole body pressed into his. They were clothed, which was strange, and she seemed a little like a woman possessed. In fact, he felt a distinct lack of control coming through their bond; it seemed to scare her a great deal but not enough to change what they were doing._

" _Darlin', it's nice to do this again," Trip said softly as he caressed the back of her head and leaned in to deepen their kiss._

" _It's strange," T'Pol said softly as she pulled back slightly. "I'm not feeling any apprehension."_

" _Apprehension?" Trip asked as he looked up at her. "Why would you?"_

" _It's my first time with a human," T'Pol said softly as she started to undo the zipper on his uniform._

" _It's definitely not that," Trip chuckled as he watched the zipper lower until it stopped. "It was a long time ago, but you've come a long way since then."_

" _Have I?" T'Pol asked before she shifted his uniform over his shoulders and pulled it down his toned arms._

" _You know you have," Trip chuckled as he helped take his uniform off. "We both have."_

 _T'Pol lifted his undershirt over his head and started to roughly massage his pecs._

" _Calm down a little," Trip said surprised by her aggression._

" _I can't," T'Pol said before she captured his mouth with her own and violently kissed him._

" _What?" He asked as they parted, and he held her back by the shoulders, so she had to answer him._

" _It's Pon Farr," T'Pol said upset._

" _So, I'm dreaming about pon farr?" Trip asked her as he sat up a little. "Seems kinda weird."_

" _Charles, it's…"_

" _Why are you calling me Charles?" Trip asked as he looked at her strangely and then started to look around the dream room. It was her white meditative cloud. "Are we in the bond-space?"_

" _Yes, but soon it will no longer suffice," T'Pol said as she broke free of his hands and leaned in to aggressively kiss him as her hands ripped off his underwear._

" _What are you talking about?" Trip asked as he sat up and looked at her more fully. She was sweaty and panting._

" _It's my pon farr," T'Pol said as she jumped on his lap and started to kiss him aggressively again._

" _Your pon farr?!" Trip snapped as he broke their bond connection._

Suddenly, he was back in their room, laying on his cot alone. He looked toward the bed and saw T'Pol thrashing about and mumbling to herself. He launched himself off his cot and ran toward her.

"T'Pol! Wake up T'Pol!" Trip said as she shook her shoulders.

Her eyes suddenly flashed open and she looked at him strangely.

"We were having some kinda bond nightmare or…"

Trip was thrown onto his back and the rest of his sentence forgotten as she attacked his mouth with her own. He pushed at her and tried to get her off him to no avail. When she started to rip at his pajamas Trip finally succeeded at rolling off the bed with her underneath him, so they broke contact.

"What the hell are you doing?" Trip demanded as he held her down.

"I need you," T'Pol said desperately.

It was then that he noticed her sweaty skin, her dilated eyes and her panting.

"You are seriously in pon farr, now?!" Trip yelled.

"I'll die if we don't engage in sexual relations," T'Pol said desperately as he felt her twist in his grip and start to roll him onto his back.

Trip wrestled himself away from her and backed up against a wall. "There's gotta be a drug Phlox can give you or…"

"In my medical file it says that I was given Hensju last time Pon farr was artificially induced," T'Pol said as she stalked towards him. "If given it now it will take at least twenty-four hours to be effective because my body has already been exposed to the drug."

When she got within a foot of him Trip grabbed her and shoved her roughly against the wall and held her there in place. "Then we get the drug and…and I don't know…sedate you for twenty-four hours or…"

"Just be with me," T'Pol pleaded. "It's a much simpler and, from my bond memory, a far more pleasurable experience."

"You don't want me, it's the pon farr talking and…"

"Are we not married?" T'Pol asked breathlessly as she leaned into him. "Have we not done this many times before?"

"Yes, but you aren't you and…and it's wrong. We should…"

Just then T'Pol pulled from his grasp and, grabbing both sides of his face, kissed him soundly and Trip, surprising even himself, kissed her back. He could feel a warmth covering his entire body, a sureness coming from their bond and heightened sexual arousal coming from both his body and hers. He knew, in his last moment of clarity, that her pon farr was now affecting him as well; that there was no turning back.

Moments later, they were tearing at each other's clothes and Trip was throwing her down onto her bed and climbing on top of her. She aggressively pulled his naked body against her and parted her legs. Trip impaled her with his member and started thrusting hard and quickly into her as she grunted below him. He came, and his erection did not ease so he continued to pump relentlessly inside her as she rocked her hips against him. At one point they fell off the bed and both husband and wife quickly re-assembled themselves into a new position that allowed her more movement. The endless rocking and grinding went on for over an hour before she moaned loudly, and Trip felt himself come a second time inside of her as she quivered on top of him.

Exhaustion didn't set in as she stood from his body, their combined juices sliding down her legs as she turned to face away from him and take him inside her once again. Trip sat up and bit one of her ass cheeks as she rode him. Time stood still, and their sexual escapades seemed to go on and on throughout the night. And, when he occasionally lost his erection, they pleasured each other orally and digitally until it came back, and he went back to happily living inside her again. There was no counting, by morning, how many times they had sex, or he came inside of her. Both partners lay battered, bruised and sore, wrapped up in a single sheet and sleeping on a mattress that lost it's bedding many hours previous.

Trip was the first to awaken and it took him several moments to make sense of the position they were in and the events that had occurred throughout the night. He felt sweaty and sticky all over and T'Pol looked and felt the same as she lay with the naked upper half of her body draped over his.

Trip closed his eyes and cursed himself. He had allowed himself to be controlled by pon farr and now, any hope he had of establishing a future with T'Pol would be gone. She would blame him for his lack of control. Say he'd taken advantage of her compromised state. Claim he should have immediately called Phlox and a security team to contain her…

"I apologize for taking advantage of you…for hurting you," T'Pol said softly from somewhere buried in his chest hair. "It is not you who is responsible for this situation."

"You could hear all that?" Trip asked as he looked down at her.

"Yes," she nodded.

Trip wrapped an arm around her bare back and sighed.

"Darlin, I guess neither of us is responsible for this," Trip sighed. "You were well past gone when I woke you and I felt it take over me after we kissed."

T'Pol said nothing in return.

"Are you hurt?" Trip asked her as he tried to get a better look at her face.

"I am relatively unharmed," T'Pol said quietly. "But, it was a level of vigorous activity that my body was not used to."

"I'm so sorry," Trip said softly. "I…"

"Neither of us were in control of our actions," T'Pol said. "You have several injuries as well."

"I'm sore as all hell," Trip admitted.

They lay in silence for a minute before he spoke again.

"How are you with what we did? Trip asked, concerned.

"Logically, my pon farr needed to be resolved and sexual activity with my bond-mate was the most obvious choice," T'Pol said stoically.

"I mean emotionally," Trip corrected. "And don't tell me Vulcans don't have emotions."

T'Pol moved off him slightly and covered her breasts with the sheet that was still haphazardly wrapped around her.

"T'Pol?" Trip asked, concerned when he saw her shift away from him and sit up.

"I enjoyed the acts," T'Pol admitted. "But I'm not sure I'm ready to repeat it outside of the demands of pon farr. At least, just yet."

"That's fair," Trip said as he too sat up and tried not to wince when his back made a loud creaking noise.

"You are satisfied with abstinence?" T'Pol inquired, surprised.

"After the amount of activity last night," Trip said as he stood up naked next to her bed. "I think I'm fine for another few months."

T'Pol couldn't help but admire his naked body in the dim lighting of their quarters as he absently stretched his back and neck.

Trip felt heat rise in his body and he looked at T'Pol suddenly.

"Oh, uh, sorry," he said as he covered himself.

"You have a beautiful body," T'Pol said plainly. "There is no reason to be embarrassed by it."

"Is pon farr complete? Because I just felt…" Trip started as he moved his hands away from himself.

"There are some residual effects," T'Pol said primly as she too stood with a sheet wrapped around her.

"Hey, what happened to not being embarrassed?" Trip asked her as he tugged playfully at an edge of the sheet she had wrapped around herself.

"You are much more familiar with intimacy than I am," T'Pol stated.

"And you won't become familiar with it if you back away or hide from it," Trip said softly as he met her eyes. "Logically, I have seen everything, many times."

T'Pol, sensing the dare in his statement, immediately dropped the sheet that was around her and stood naked before him.

"Pon farr must be dampening my logic," T'Pol offered by way of excuse.

Trip again felt heat build up inside of him and he watched as T'Pol's brow developed a thin sheen of sweat on it.

"I'm thinking we have a little more time ahead of us before you're okay," Trip said as he touched her shoulder gently.

"I would concur," T'Pol said as she felt her breathing grow slightly more rapid.

"I'm going to comm Phlox and let him in on this," Trip said as he walked toward a nearby wall.

"The Hensju will take…" T'Pol started in a panic.

Trip turned and looked at her surprised.

"We'll get some of that from Phlox," Trip said softly as he met her eyes. "But I'll take care of whatever you need until then, okay?"

"Thank you," T'Pol said relieved. "I…I appreciate…"

"Hey, wait a second," Trip said as he approached her again. "You are my wife. I would do anything for you; there's no owing or…or…"

"I know, but…" T'Pol started.

"No 'buts' either," Trip said before he kissed her forehead. "I love you. Plain and simple."

T'Pol nodded and considered his warm eyes.

"I see now why I fell in love with you," T'Pol said quietly as she looked anywhere but at him.

Trip smiled at her statement; he knew that was a lot for her to admit in her currently vulnerable state.

"I love you T'Pol," Trip said gently. "We're going to get through this and figure this out, okay?"

She nodded and watched as he walked to the comm to contact Phlox. She listened as he explained the situation and asked that the Captain be informed as well because his First Officer and Science Officer would not be reporting for duty all day today. He also asked Phlox could send a first aid kit with the Hensju and make time for an exam of each of them later today once they had docked on Jupiter Station. Phlox agreed to all his requests and inquired about their health. He assured Phlox they were fine, that the worst of the pon farr was behind them and that they just needed some time.

When he turned back to face her she was shivering with need. He could feel the heat across their bond and see her trying to retrain herself. She had yellow bruises up her body, matted hair, his juices all over her thighs, and a couple of bite marks on her breasts. Trip swallowed hard and tried not to think about the damage he'd done to her in the heat of pon farr; he was also sure he was not a beautiful sight right now either.

"How about we take this into the shower," Trip said as he took her hand in his.

"But I need…" T'Pol started.

"Two birds with one stone darlin," Trip said as he guided her toward their washroom.

XXX


	12. Chapter 12

Author's Note: Please see notes in Chapter 1. Anything in Italics is a bond interaction.

XXX

"Hi mama," Trip said as he embraced the older woman standing in the driveway of the home they just arrived at.

"Trip," she sighed as she squeezed her son a little bit tighter.

"Ahh, it's good to be home," Trip said with a muffled voice. "This has been the never-ending trip from Jupiter Station. We've been travelling for…what? Seven hours?"

T'Pol nodded in agreement. It had been six hours and fifty-one minutes but she knew how much humans disliked being corrected about exact numbers.

When they parted he looked down at his mother's aged face and wished, in that moment, that he wasn't a contributor to all those lines. He had called home after T'Pol's accident and told his parents about the accident, the wedding, everything. They were less than supportive of Trip staying married to T'Pol; they had known how much she had hurt him in the past with her wedding. And now, with the memory loss, it seemed like this was a relationship that only brought their son pain.

"This is T'Pol, mama," Trip said as he cupped T'Pol's shoulder and pulled her forward a little.

"It is pleasing to meet you," T'Pol said as she nodded her head.

"Nice to meet you too, dear," Claire Tucker nodded back.

"Thank you for allowing us to stay with you while on Earth," T'Pol added.

"Of course!" Claire laughed. "Trip's…Trip and his wife are always welcome here."

T'Pol nodded and followed Trip and his mother inside the house.

It had been five days since Pon Farr and all her symptoms had finally subsided. The bruises were, mainly, healed and her vaginal walls had stopped throbbing with a dull ache. Charles's testicles were still enflamed, and he shifted restlessly on any seat; the trip on the shuttle from Jupiter Station to earth had made her want to sedate him he moved so frequently.

They had come to a comfortable understanding with each other. No longer was their relationship just contractual; it had become physical as well. T'Pol had to admit that once the overwhelming need from Pon Farr has subsided, she had quite enjoyed her sexual acts with her husband. She decided that while on Earth she would purchase a copy of a book on human sexuality, so she could understand more about human needs.

"I've put you and T'Pol in one room, but we could give you two if…if that would be more comfortable for you," Claire stammered as she opened the door to a plain room with log cabin wallpaper and a large bed.

"T'Pol?" Trip asked. It was the first time they could be on their own and, despite their recent physical closeness, he knew she was probably itching for a room to herself.

T'Pol looked back at him surprised he had offered to not share a room. If she didn't already know, T'Pol knew in that moment, that her husband was a good man.

"One room will suffice," T'Pol nodded as she met Trip's eyes.

Trip looked at her surprised and then smiled. "I guess we'll just stay here, mama."

Claire nodded. "I'll give you some time to freshen up and rest before supper, then."

Trip nodded and walked into their room with their two bags. T'Pol shut the door behind her.

"Everything okay?" Trip asked as he watched her pick up a china figurine on the dresser; there had to be at least 40 there.

"Fine," T'Pol said absently. "Why do you ask?"

"I guess I just thought you'd jump at the chance to have your own space," Trip offered.

"I normally would," T'Pol agreed.

She heard him sit on the bed behind her.

"So, why didn't you?" Trip inquired, she could hear the annoyance in his voice at her hedging.

T'Pol turned with a figurine in her hand and looked at him.

"Do you want separate rooms?" She inquired.

"No," Trip shook his head. "I'm just interested in why you don't."

T'Pol huffed and turned the figurine around in her hands. "I may never get my memories back. It's been 131 days."

Trip nodded for her to continue.

"And if I don't, then I…we need to make some decisions about the future," T'Pol said as she met his eyes.

Trip swallowed hard.

"I've come to enjoy your company," T'Pol began. "We have a bond, have a satisfying physical relationship, you are intelligent and attractive…"

"So, I'm a good option?" Trip asked, his voice betraying his disdain.

"No, my best match would logically be a Vulcan male," T'Pol corrected him. "Despite that, we…work."

"So, because we 'work' you want to stay together?" Trip asked, his eyes narrowed in annoyance.

There was a long pause as silence filled the room.

"I think I could grow to love you again," T'Pol admitted, somewhat shyly.

Trip stood from the bed and took her two hands in his. "Do you really mean that?"

"I do," she answered simply.

The smile that overtook his face was…priceless.

"Then let's forget the memories and start fresh, right here," Trip offered. "What do you say?"

T'Pol looked at him, the fear apparent in her eyes. He could feel it emanating across their bond as well.

"Trust that you knew what you were doing the first time," Trip said as he leaned in and kissed her softly on the corner of her mouth.

T'Pol nodded and felt her heart start to beat so hard it seemed as if it may jump to the other side of her skin. She kissed him softly back and felt his hand come around the back of her waist. She didn't know everything about this man, everything that she knew before. But she knew a few things: he was a good man, an accomplished man, a loving man, an ethical man, and a passionate man. She also knew that he caused feelings to occur inside of her that hadn't existed before. Ever.

T'Pol kissed him softly and allowed herself to stop thinking and just feel. Her arms came around the back of his neck and played with the soft hairs there. She felt him pull her against him a little more and she molded to his body; hers soft and pliant against his. Charles pulled back and rested his forehead against hers.

She could feel his breath coming ragged.

"What do you say?"

T'Pol knew even before her mouth opened what her answer would be.

"I want this," she said breathlessly.

"Me? Us?" Trip clarified.

"All of it," T'Pol nodded before she leaned in and kissed him gently on the lips.

Trip returned her kiss. It was gentle and full of quiet promise, unlike the kissing that had happened during pon farr.

Trip pulled back after a time and took her hand in his guiding her over to the bed. He pulled back the covers and turned to look at her. "Sleep."

T'Pol nodded and took off her outfit, climbing into their bed in only her underpants. He did the same before he wrapped the blanket over them and his arms around her. He had wanted this for months, and now, he finally had it. For the first time in a long time, Trip slept soundly.

XXXX

It was their ninth day at the Tucker household and T'Pol was meditating in their room. The first day, she had barely seen Charles' parents as she and Charles had slept for almost seven hours before his mother politely knocked on their door, then when no one stirred, entered their room and shook Charles' shoulder to inform him that supper was waiting. It was 21:25 and his parents had been waiting hours for them to finally wake and join them.

It was the soundest T'Pol had slept in months and she found herself working very hard to not yawn during the short dinner; her body wanted her to get more rest. After all that had happened, the pon farr, and now travel to his parent's house on Earth, she hadn't had much rest recently and it was showing. She lacked mental focus, the food on Jupiter Station and at Charles' home upset her stomach, and she found herself…restless.

In the days since their arrival, Charles' parents had been polite and distant when she was present. She had heard jovial conversations between them and Charles when she was out of the room, but when she was with him everything quieted and became much more formal. One time, his mother had expressed anger about them performing neuropressure in the common room. T'Pol didn't understand the cause of her anger; they were fully clothed, and were in a posture that couldn't be construed at compromising. When Charles questioned her Claire Tucker had mumbled something about 'losing himself' and exited the room.

Privately, things had been going well for them. Charles and she had resumed sexual relations after his testicles had healed and the gentle nature of the act that brought them so much pleasure, was a beautiful contrast to the sexual relations that occurred during Pon Farr. The tender way he attended her was astounding and pulled her into orgasm time and time again. They had been sure to be quiet and frequently made love when both of his parents had left their home. T'Pol had also found the book on human sexual relations she purchased quite useful and had surprised him with a few techniques that he said she hadn't ever tried before. It pleased her that she could make him feel so much pleasure and she so put a lot of time and effort into their private interactions.

Charles, true to his word on starting again, had taken her out to dinner several times, they'd gone to a museum, an art gallery, his favorite park, had attended a movie at a regular theatre and tonight were attending a historical theatre called a 'drive-in'. There had also been an uncomfortable BBQ with friends, neighbors and some family where a few people had voiced their concerns about alien influence on Earth, inter-marriage, and had quizzed T'Pol about her history with the Vulcan High Command. The BBQ had ended rather abruptly with Charles taking her hand and removing them from the BBQ to go to a local diner for milkshakes and a walk along a river. They hadn't returned to Charles' home until very late that evening when the BBQ was complete.

T'Pol's stomach still had not adjusted to Earth food and she found herself sick several times and longing for simple Plomeek broth. Charles had noticed her queasy stomach yesterday and gone to the trouble of getting her some plomeek broth from a local restaurant; it was not well-made at all. But, to please her husband, who was obviously quite happy with his ingenuity and because it was a kind act, T'Pol ate the tasteless soup and complimented it.

Now, mid-mediation attempt, T'Pol felt rage across their bond suddenly and was drawn from her meditative state. There was a raised voice in the distance, possibly outside, it was Charles and he was upset. T'Pol rose from her spot on the floor and walked quickly toward the noise only to discover his mother standing crying with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Mrs. Tucker?" T'Pol asked as she stepped toward the upset woman and then noticed Charles in the distance walking toward some woods.

 _She reached out to him through their bond and simply got a 'Not now, T'Pol' before he blocked her._

"He's never been one to listen to me," she said softly as she wiped at her eyes.

"Charles has upset you?" T'Pol inquired.

"We had words," Claire Tucker explained.

T'Pol thought for a moment before she spoke again. "Is there something I can do to assist you?"

Claire barked a laugh and looked towards the woods that Charles had disappeared into.

"Do you love him?" Claire asked as she looked at T'Pol.

"No," T'Pol said honestly. "I like him a great deal though."

"Liking him is not the same," Claire said sharply. "My son is a good man, and he'd never abandon you but…"

"But?"

"Three months before your accident he was offered a Captain's chair, did you know that?" Claire asked T'Pol pointedly.

"I did not," T'Pol said softly. "But I may have then."

"I don't think he told you," Claire said as she searched T'Pol's eyes. "He turned it down to be with you."

T'Pol thought about what she said for a moment before she answered.

"That's not logical," T'Pol said as she met his mother's eyes.

"When it comes to his heart, my son is rarely logical," Claire huffed. "Do you understand what marrying you has done to his career?"

T'Pol said nothing in return, she knew the question was not one to be answered. Charles had explained that his mother came from a long line of Starfleet and Military personnel who were mainly scientists; she expected great things from her son.

"He's throwing his entire future away for a woman who can't remember their past and when asked if she loves him replies that she likes him," Claire said as she turned to leave. "And he's doing it willingly."

T'Pol met her eyes and shifted slightly in this uncomfortable moment.

"If you care for my son at all," Claire said as she looked between T'Pol and the woods Charles had disappeared into. "You will release him from this farce of a marriage. Allow him to move on. Take a Captaincy, find love, be with someone who when asked that question can honestly say she loves him with all her heart. He's a good man and he deserves at least that."

T'Pol took in the woman's hostility and her sadness and nodded. "We can agree that he is a very good man."

"If you are truly the Vulcan Trip says you are," Claire said as she started to step away. "Then your logic will tell you what the correct choice should be."

Claire left T'Pol standing in their family backyard looking at the woods her husband had disappeared into. Logically, Claire was correct. Unfortunately, T'Pol had opened her heart to this man and logic was not the only factor in this decision.

XXX

T'Pol walked quickly from the building and across the square. When she finally heard her name being called she was about the step into a land cab. Turning, she noticed the woman who had been calling her, it was the nurse she'd met earlier.

"Thank god you finally stopped," the nurse said out of breath as she walked toward T'Pol. "Vulcans walk so fast!"

"Is there something you need?" T'Pol asked, her emotions far too close to the surface. She needed to go somewhere, anywhere, and meditate so she could re-gain control of herself.

"Here are the supplements the doctor gave you," Sara said as she handed a bag to T'Pol. "You forgot them in the office. And the image of the baby."

T'Pol took the bag and envelope from her numbly.

"You left so quickly I was unable to book your next appointment with Dr Vlan and…"

"I need to leave," T'Pol choked out, her eyes filled with tears. She was blocking Charles so the full force of her emotions were close to the surface.

"Oh, uh…" Sara said as she noticed the Vulcan's upset. She had never witnessed an emotional reaction like this before and feared for the Vulcan woman in that moment.

The nurse stepped forward and opened the door to the land cab gesturing for T'Pol to get inside and then got in herself.

"Where to?" She asked a shocked T'Pol.

"Anywhere private," T'Pol choked out.

"Uh…Henson Park," Sara stammered. "The gazebo."

The car repeated her instructions and informed them of the fare. Sara agreed to it and the land car launched itself into traffic.

Sara sat beside T'Pol trying to watch her from the corner of her eye without being too obvious. If T'Pol Tucker was human, she would have taken her hand and comforted her, but she knew that was the last thing this Vulcan woman wanted. They rode in silence until the land car stopped in front of an enclosed gazebo in a quiet corner of the park.

T'Pol exited the car and made a beeline for the gazebo, fully expecting to be alone with her overwhelming emotions. She opened the door and looked around, finding no one, let out a loud cry and, as tears burst from her eyes, she felt to the ground in a heap.

It wasn't until she felt her head being raised and placed onto a soft surface that T'Pol realized the nurse had not left her.

"It's going to be fine," Sara said softly as she took T'Pol's pulse and felt her forehead. "I take it this is not a wanted pregnancy?"

T'Pol closed her eyes and sighed.

"If it's the result of a sexual assault that can be…" Sara started.

"It's not," T'Pol said softly.

"Just unwanted?" Sara asked.

T'Pol nodded slightly.

"You can end the pregnancy if you wish," Sara said softly.

"Vulcans do not believe in the taking of life," T'Pol answered as the tears flowed down her cheeks.

"It's just a fetus at this point," Sara offered.

"In my beliefs," T'Pol explained. "It is already a life. I understand for humans the belief is different."

"It is half human," Sara hedged. "So that belief could be just as influential as yours, if you wish."

T'Pol closed her eyes again and said nothing. A Human-Vulcan child was something they were supposed to need assistance conceiving. It was a child that was supposed to be manufactured and implanted not conceived naturally. Dr Vlan was just as astounded by the results of the testing as she was. She was pregnant, with Charles' son. He was perfectly healthy, adapting well to her womb, and progressing normally. Besides some extra monitoring and supplements, along with an occasional injection, there was no reason why this pregnancy wasn't healthy and viable. Dr Vlan believed that their rampant sexual activity during pon farr had helped T'Pol's reproductive system adapt and receive human male sperm without complications. Her internal organs were, even now, producing a type of brown blood, a mixture of Vulan green and Human red blood cells to nourish and care for their son.

Her son.

T'Pol was ashamed of her emotional reaction but couldn't supress her feelings, even in front of this strange nurse who had come to her aid.

She had no memory of the last few years of her life. No memory of her love for Charles. Of her wedding. Of…anything related to their relationship of life together. The last 142 days had been a trial for her, for Charles. They had come to an understanding recently, but how long would that last? How long before he grew tired of her? Annoyed with her? Bothered by her lack of love for him? She cared for him, yes, but love wasn't a word she could use to describe her feelings for him at this time. Did he even love the T'Pol she currently was, or just his memory of the T'Pol she had been?

He'd turned down a Captain's chair, his family and friends were not fond of her, and after the incident at the drive-in movie theatre a day ago…Earth was obviously not a place they could set up residence. How many more things would he give up for her? For their son? Would he ruin his career and become a bitter man married to her out of obligation? Just like her parents?

T'Pol took a deep cleansing breath and resolved that she would not ruin Charles' life further. The one gift she could give him was freedom and he deserved at least that.

She sat up and dried her eyes while the odd nurse stared at her.

"I apologize for my display of emotion," T'Pol said gathering herself together. "I thank you for your care."

"No need to…" Sara started then stopped when she saw that T'Pol Tucker was still very emotionally fragile. "You're welcome. Can I order a land card to get you home?"

"Thank you," T'Pol nodded before she stood from her place on the ground. "I trust this will remain confidential?"

"Of…of course," Sara nodded. "Whatever your decision."

T'Pol nodded. "Please transfer my files to one of Dr Vlan's associates on Vulcan. I will be residing there and will receive all of my pre-natal care on Vulcan."

"Oh, of course," Sara said with a smile. "I will make all the necessary arrangements."

"Thank you," T'Pol said with a nod before she picked up her bag of supplements and her picture of the baby and started to leave.

Sara ordered land cars for them both and joined T'Pol outside to wait.

"Many mothers are overwhelmed by the news at first," Sara said kindly as she saw their two cars approaching at the edge of the park. "But with the support of family, they come to make the best decision for their circumstance."

T'Pol looked at her for a moment before she spoke. Logically her choices were her own and not something to share with this virtual stranger. But, she had been of assistance exactly when T'Pol needed her.

"Vulcans believe in the sanctity of all life," T'Pol said clearly. "It was never an option for me to terminate. The changes this will present to my life are what I need to now focus on. I need to, as you say, come to the best decision for all of my family."

Sara smiled at her warmly as the cars approached.

"Thank you again for your assistance in my time of need," T'Pol said formally.

Sara nodded and smiled back at T'Pol. "I wish you all the best."

Both women got into their land cars and departed.

XXX

"Did she say why she went back early?" Trip asked his father as he looked down at T'Pol's note.

"She said one of her science officers needed her, I think," Charles Tucker said as he spooned some soup into his mouth.

"She's been blocking me all morning and I come back from my run to a note?" Trip mumbled to himself. He was standing in the middle of the Tucker's kitchen sweaty and out of breath.

"She was in a hurry to get back," Charles said quietly. "Truthfully, I think your mother said something to her."

"Mama? Just now you mean?" Trip asked, worried.

"No, a few days ago," Charles said quietly. "She was upset after your fight and, I think, had words with T'Pol. I don't know about what but…"

"But that was days ago," Trip said confused. "T'Pol hasn't said anything to me. Why leave now?"

"I don't think she was too comfortable here," Charles admitted. "We could have been more welcoming. I'm sorry, son. I should have…"

"You all could have been more welcoming," Trip said clearly.

"I'm sorry, son," Charles apologized honestly. "It's been a difficult adjustment for us all."

"You don't think I know that? I'm the one living this nightmare!" Trip snapped. "I thought bringing her home would give us a chance away from our jobs and all the eyes on us on Enterprise to…"

"The BBQ and Drive-In didn't help warm her to humans, I'm sure," Charles said honestly.

"No, no they didn't," Trips aid softly. "This was a mistake, it's not our life. Our life is on Enterprise and that's where we should be working on…"

"Son, you ever think that it's just too damn much work?" Charles asked him honestly.

Trip closed his eyes and counted to ten before he answered his father. He needed to control his anger before he said something he'd later regret.

"Has mama ever been too damn much work? After Elizabeth? The depression? After she decided to go back to school when you were younger? After she had that fling with…"

"Now hold on," Charles said placing his hand up to stop Trip's rant. "Your mother and I have been together since we were kids. Through good and bad and…"

"And I am going through some bad with T'Pol right now, but there's been, and will be a whole lotta good," Trip said softly. "How would it have been if your families hadn't supported you through all that? Huh? That's all I was asking for daddy, some support, not everyone's judgement."

Trip crumpled the note in his hand and walked away from his father.

"Trip!" Charles called after him.

"I'm going back to Enterprise daddy, to be with my wife," Trip called over his shoulder.

"Now, Trip, don't…" Charles called as he stood from his seat.

He was answered with a slammed door.


	13. Chapter 13

Author's Note: Please see notes in Chapter 1. Anything in italics is a bond interaction.

XXXX

"You mind telling me what the hell is going on?" Jonathan Archer asked Trip as the door between Enterprise and Jupiter Station opened. It was almost 1 am and Trip was surprised by the personal greeting by his Captain.

"Huh?" Trip asked as he walked toward his friend with his bag slung over his shoulder.

"T'Pol," Jon clarified.

"She came back this morning, or I guess it was yesterday morning, it took me forever to arrange a trip to the Station," Trip supplied as he looked at his friend confused.

"She's resigned," Jon said as he watched his friend for awareness.

"What?!" Trip asked, surprised.

"You didn't know about her return to Vulcan?" Jon asked, quietly as his friend and he closed ranks.

"What?!" Trip snapped again.

"What happened on your vacation?" Jon asked his friend.

"Where is she?!" Trip demanded as he started to march toward his quarters.

"Gone, on a transport shuttle to Vulcan," Jon said causing Trip to stop his forward motion.

"What?!" Trip snapped.

Jon placed a steady hand on Trip's arm. "What happened on Earth?"

"Nothing, uh, everything, but…things were good. Great even. We'd spoken about starting fresh and…"

"I tried to contact you on the shuttle, but they had a medical emergency?"

"Yeah, one of the engineers thought he was having a stroke, we were on with medical the entire trip," Trip explained. "I couldn't contact T'Pol from Earth, or the shuttle and she's been blocking me all day."

Jon took Trip by the arm and hustled him gently toward the Operations Room.

"Empty the room!" Jon ordered to the two Ensigns that were on night shift.

They scurried out quickly. When the door shut behind them Jon turned to Trip.

"Does it have to do with the pon farr?" Jon asked.

"No, we worked through that," Trip explained. "In fact, we'd…well, we'd gone back to being intimate. I'd taken her on dates, we talked…Jon, I need to get to Vulcan."

"I already thought about that," Jon smiled at his friend. "Her transport will take 3 days, we leave Jupiter Station in three, if we set a course for Vulcan…"

"Wait, the entire ship?!" Trip asked, surprised.

"It won't look good if my XO leaves his mission," Jon said. "It'll hold you back from promotions and…well, I can fudge a mission to Vulcan that'll get you there just the same."

"Mission?"

"Commander Jad has asked me for three years to attend one of their monthly Cross-Cultural festivals," Jon explained. "In the name of cultural unification, I have decided to attend. It will take us to Vulcan for two days…"

"God Jon," Trip sighed. "You saved my ass. But why the hell has she left me?"

"Was there anything else that may have caused…?"

"My folks were less than inviting," Trip explained. "And I got into a small altercation at a drive-in…"

"Sounds like it wasn't the best vacation for her," Jon surmised.

"I don't know," Trip said softly.

"Seriously, you have no idea why she's left?" Jon asked. "She didn't even say goodbye to anyone."

"Jon, she didn't even say goodbye to me," Trip sighed as he leaned heavily against a wall. "She left to do some shopping this morning and when I came back there was a note."

"That's it?" Jon asked.

"That's it," Trip shrugged.

"We'll get to the bottom of this," Jon said as he wrapped an arm around Trip.

XXX

T'Pol walked up to her mother's home and sighed as she dropped her bag on the ground.

She moved forward and opened her mother's front door and stepped inside.

"Mother?" T'Pol called.

T'Pol walked toward the kitchen and looked around.

"T'Pol?" T'Les asked as she approached her daughter. "I wasn't expecting you until the afternoon."

"My transport was early, and I caught an appropriate shuttle," T'Pol explained.

"I have spoken with Dr Kiy and…"

"Dr Vlan prefers I am cared for by Dr. Poy," T'Pol explained.

"But Dr Kiy has been our family doctor for…"

"Mother, I thank you for your effort, but I will work with Dr. Poy," T'Pol said.

"Fine," T'Les said, annoyed.

"I am tired," T'Pol said softly. "I will retire to my room."

"Of course," T'Les nodded. "I'll call for you when the noon meal is prepared."

"I prefer to mediate and…"

"You cannot close yourself away in your room for your entire pregnancy," T'Les explained.

"Good day, mother," T'Pol said before she picked up her bag and walked to her room.

"Will it look human?" T'Les called to her.

T'Pol stopped her forward motion but did not turn to face her mother.

"Possibly," T'Pol answered. "Dr Vlan said Vulcan physiology is dominant but I will not know how dominant until he has developed further."

"He?" T'Les asked.

"I am carrying a boy," T'Pol said as she turned to face her mother.

T'Les nodded and T'Pol turned away from her to continue toward her room.

XXX

Five days later, Trip stood before the same door at T'Pol's house. He was angry and confused and nervous all at once. He wanted answers, he needed answers, and his wife was going to give him some answers.

He rang the bell and waited. He rang it again. Nothing.

Trip walked around the house and looked inside several windows; no one seemed to be inside.

Looking around he had to decide what to do. In the heat of the Vulcan day, he wanted nothing more than to go somewhere indoors, preferably with AC but with T'Pol missing, he needed to sit tight and see if she returned. Vulcan transport logs were public record and she, apparently, had arrived at her mother's five days ago.

Trip found some shade and settled in to wait. Luckily, he'd worn his lighter, more heat-friendly uniform so it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

Over the last five days he's had the opportunity to do some investigating and nothing stood out as a reason for her to leave. No one at Starfleet knew of her resignation until it happened, and, in fact, she had been short-listed for another promotion. Trip had called his mother and discovered that she had spoken with T'Pol about her concern for Trip but that was about it. Trip wondered if T'Pol had a memory lapse, but T'Pol had greeted Hoshi while on board Enterprise and had booked her transport as T'Pol Tucker, indicating she knew she was married to him.

He spent one sleepless night breaking into her e-mail and accessing her files. Nothing was there but a few communications with her mother, her reply to the fertility clinic to cancel the appointment, and some communications with her department about budgets and reports. When he accessed her file history, Trip saw that she hadn't looked at anything since before they left for Earth so none of that could have been the reason. Finally, Trip tried to regularly call out to her over their bond but the door to that was firmly closed. Phlox had indicated that if she remained with it like that, she could risk significant damage to herself; she had to open the bond.

After an hour of thinking, brooding and sweating, a shuttle pulled up in front of the house and T'Pol exited the vehicle. Trip stood from the bench he'd been waiting on and waited for her to approach. She must have noticed him as the vehicle pulled up but hardly looked at him as she made payment.

"T'Pol?" Trip asked.

"You shouldn't have come," T'Pol said as she met his eyes.

"Shouldn't have come?" Trip asked as the transport vehicle pulled away. "My wife leaves me, and I'm just supposed to…to…what?"

"Did you not get my communication?" T'Pol asked.

"You mean the four lines you sent me yesterday that said 'Charles, the accident has placed too much stress on our relationship. I have returned home to Vulcan to focus on my own health and intellectual pursuits. I will contact you shorty about divorce proceedings. I wish you well. T'Pol', that one?"

"You require hydration," T'Pol said as she walked past him and opened the front door, indicating for him to follow her inside.

"I require some answers from my wife!" Trip demanded as he followed her inside.

"I have explained my reasoning," T'Pol said as she walked toward the kitchen and filled a glass with water, handing it to him.

"No, no you haven't," Trip said before he took a drink; he really was thirsty. "Things were going well, or I thought they were and…"

"I have stayed with you much longer than we agreed," T'Pol said softly. "My memory has not returned, and it is time to move on."

"Move on?" Trip gasped. "I thought we agreed to start fresh. You said you wanted this…us, you said you thought you could love me again."

"I was wrong," T'Pol said as she met his eyes. "I care for you, but Vulcans and Humans are far too different. We may have thought we could work before…but things have changed and it's a foolish undertaking to stay together."

"What spooked you?" Trip asked her, knowing there was more to it.

T'Pol looked at him confused.

"You left so abruptly, something must have happened that…"

"What happened was I started to really look at the situation logically and, logically, this was the choice that needed to be made, for both our sakes," T'Pol said as she took back the glass. "Do you want me to start the divorce proceedings, or will you?"

"Divorce? Are you serious?" Trip asked, the surprise in his voice overtaking him.

"I assure you, I am completely serious," T'Pol said as she stiffened her back.

"T'Pol, darlin' let's just take a step back and…" Trip said kindly as he approached her.

"I am expected at an engagement," T'Pol said as she stepped away from him. "I must change and then leave."

"What sort of engagement?" Trip asked.

"The opening of a new wing of the science academy," T'Pol answered. "I replied that I would attend."

"You really want a divorce? Want to end it?" Trip asked as tears welled in his eyes. "Really?"

"I do," T'Pol nodded.

"T'Pol, I love you and…"

"I must go," T'Pol said as she walked away from him. "Please show yourself out."

She disappeared down a hallway and left Trip standing alone, confused and angry.

"Fuck it," Trip mumbled under his breath as he marched toward the room he knew was hers and whipped open the door.

She was standing topless choosing a bra when she turned to face him angered.

"What are you doing?" T'Pol asked him, anger seeping through her voice.

"This," Trip said as he marched toward her and kissed her passionately. At first, she resisted, then she gave into the kiss and relished in the beauty of it before she came back to her senses and pulled back.

"How dare you!" T'Pol said angered.

Trip wiped at his lower lip and smirked. "You kissed me back."

"I did no such thing!" T'Pol replied. "Please leave my home before I call the authorities, and have you removed."

"Are you kidding me?!" Trip snapped.

"Leave now!" T'Pol snapped back.

Trip saw she was serious and decided to not make the situation more volatile in the moment.

"Fine," Trip said before he stepped toward the door. "For now."

He walked out into the hallway and shut the door behind him quietly. He exited her home and called a land shuttle to take him to the Starfleet compound.

XXX

T'Pol stood next to her mother listening to the speech being given by Minister Kera. The new wing in the science academy was a thing of beauty, designed by her former fiancée Koss, it would house the physics department.

"You seem…upset," T'Les noted quietly.

"I'm fine," T'Pol whispered back.

"I assume Commander Tucker has visited?" T'Les asked.

"Why would you assume that?" T'Pol asked back.

"Enterprise is in orbit," T'Les explained. "He must be a really good at the art of persuasion if he convinced your Captain to bring the entire ship here."

"I wouldn't know," T'Pol said quietly.

"Did you tell him about the child?" T'Les asked.

"No," T'Pol said as her eyes darted about. "It would defeat the purpose of this if I had."

The two women stood in silence for some time before T'Les spoke again.

"You have hardly stepped outside of your room for days," T'Les said quietly. "One would think you were depressed."

"Please leave it alone, mother," T'Pol said through gritted teeth.

"I am not a fan of the relationship," T'Les explained. "But you are not as logical about it as you may have hoped to be."

T'Pol said nothing in return.

"T'Pol?"

"It's the hormone fluctuations," T'Pol offered. "I don't wish to speak of this further, mother."

"Fine," T'Les sighed.

Later that afternoon, T'Pol was walking around the new wing admiring the architecture when Trip approached her.

"Charles, I said I was done speaking with you," T'Pol said clearly.

"Has something happened with your brain or your memory? You need to open our bond, so you don't have the same issues as before. Maybe you should see Phlox and…"

"I will re-open some aspects of our bond, but I do not need to see Phlox," T'Pol said.

"Then explain to me why the woman who was waking up happy in my arms for weeks suddenly wants a divorce," Trip hissed.

"There is more to a relationship than the physical aspect," T'Pol hissed back.

"I'm not just saying the physical," Trip hissed as he leaned into her slightly. "I'm saying happy as in content, pleased…"

"I know the definition," T'Pol countered as she stepped away from him.

"T'Pol…" Trip called to her as he grabbed her arm.

"Unhand me!" T'Pol said, alarmed.

Trip dropped his hand from her arm and looked at her as if she was someone he'd never met before.

"What's gotten into you?" Trip asked as Koss approached them.

"Is there an issue?" Koss asked.

"No, we're fine, thank you," Trip said dismissively.

"I would like to hear T'Pol say the same thing," Koss said as he stepped in front of T'Pol.

"Look…" Trip started.

"Charles is just leaving," T'Pol said as she placed a hand on Koss' shoulder. Trip felt their bond open slightly and her love and admiration for Koss came through.

He looked at T'Pol astounded.

"Him?!" Trip snapped.

"Please leave," T'Pol said, her voice barely above a quiver. She loved Charles, but she needed to do this for his sake, for his future. "I wish to move on and you should as well. The bond will die if we remain distant. I'm sorry for the inconvenience but I cannot continue with you."

"Inconvenience?!" Trip snapped as all eyes in the foyer turned to him.

"Charles, please…" T'Pol begged.

"Are you k…are you kidding me?!" Trip said as he wiped at his forehead and walked in a tight circle. "Speak to me T'Pol!"

"Goodbye Charles," T'Pol said as she met his eyes. She then turned and walked away from him with Koss by her side.

When they got several metres away Koss leaned into her.

"What was that about T'Pol?" He asked.

"I will explain later," T'Pol said as she looked over her shoulder and saw a defeated, slump-shouldered Charles Tucker the Third walking for the exit.

XXX


	14. Chapter 14

Author's Note: Please see notes in Chapter 1. Any italics are a bond interaction.

XXX

Trip Tucker sat starring mindlessly at the screen in front of him. It was another communication from their mediator explaining that both parties had agreed to all conditions of the divorce and the documents would go before a judge in the next few weeks. Then, all that was left to do was sign the papers and make their marriage a thing of the past.

It had been four months since his humiliating rejection at the Science Academy on Vulcan. He'd spoken with her several times through their bond and her resolve to end their marriage had note wavered. She still would not open their bond completely and had said it was for the better that he learn to live with the distance from her.

He's sent communications to her filled with words of love, promises to do whatever she wanted, questions about why everything had suddenly changed. He'd shown up one more time to her mother's home about three months ago and she had been even more cold and distant that before. Trip had even enlisted Jon's help in trying to find out what happened, Jon walked away from their video conference with no more information than Trip already had. Despite her insistence, he'd still refused to move forward with mediation. No, he resolved, if she wanted to divorce him, he wasn't going to make it easy. Trip had gone as far as contacting her mother in an attempt to gain some understanding about the situation. T'Les had not been helpful.

The straw that broke the camels back was when, one month ago he sensed something different across their bond. He questioned T'Pol about it. She ignored him. He threatened to come to Vulcan and find out what was happening. She told him that it was just the bond dissolving. But at night, in the dark of his room, he could swear that he heard something…a soft something…a small something…a new something. When he told her about this and expressed an interest in visiting her again she finally told him the truth: she and Koss had re-kindled their relationship and she was newly pregnant with their child. Trip's bond with her was probably getting something residual from the new life.

He'd missed two days of work after that conversation. Trip had cried like a small child, rolled into a ball on his bed, neither eating nor sleeping for two days. It really was over. It wasn't just about him and her anymore, it was about the new life she was building with another man and their child. The child she and Trip weren't ever given the chance to have. The child he'd never have with her.

And, after two days of wallowing in his own misery, Trip got up, showered, and went back to work. He didn't bother with his fellow crewmates much over the last few weeks and everyone gave him a lot of leeway when it came to social engagements. And, when it came time for a short shore leave on Earth he was the first person off Enterprise.

Instead of visiting his family, he rented a hotel room in Colorado for a few nights and vowed he was going to get his shit together after this small break. Truthfully, he'd been drunk most of the weekend and hadn't done much except turn over and over in his head what happened. He could picture her, newly pregnant and happy with a glow. He could picture Koss' hand on her still-flat stomach, ever the un-emotional Vulcan. They were probably itching for the paperwork to got through, so they could marry and get all their ducks in line before the baby was born. He was merely an inconvenience.

Trip closed the letter from the mediator on his PADD and sighed heavily before he poured himself another drink. This bottle was almost done as well, then that was the end. He would go back to Enterprise a changed man; a happy man, god help him. He needed to get on with his life, she, quite obviously, did not desire him.

He needed to find a woman who did. And not an alien woman. He needed a nice, uncomplicated girl that wasn't so much work. He'd grow to love her. They could have a family, without medical intervention. They would grow old together and he wouldn't die a hundred years before she did. They could be expressive about their love in public as well as private. She would remember every day they'd spent together.

"God damn it!" Trip cried as he stood abruptly from his chair and looked around the room.

It was then that the small room started to spin, and he lost his balance falling to the ground, but not before smacking his head hard on the wood table he'd been sitting at.

XXX

"Trip? Trip?" Jon asked him. "I think he'd coming out of it."

"Whaaa?" Trip asked as his eyes flickered open and then closed again.

"You had us worried" Jon said with a smile as he looked down at his friend.

"Where…where am I?" Trip asked.

"You're at McKenna Memorial Hospital," Jon said as he looked over at Phlox who was monitoring his vitals. "You knocked yourself unconscious and had a high blood alcohol level."

"You should be in a coma from the amount of alcohol you consumed," Phlox interrupted.

"We found you on the floor of your hotel room with quite the head wound," Jon explained.

"Had we been any later, the Captain and I would have been angels," Phlox added.

"How? I don't…" Trip stammered.

"T'Pol contacted me and gave me your location," Jon explained. "She was very worried."

"T'Pol?" Trip asked, even more confused. "She's on Vulcan."

"She said she was monitoring you through your bond," Jon said with his face a mask of worry. "She asked me not to share that piece of information with you."

"The bond?" Trip asked. "It's very weak."

"Apparently not so weak that she couldn't tell us that you were drunk and wounded as well as the hotel you were staying at in Colorado," Phlox explained.

"I don't understand," Trip said as he touched his bandaged head wound gently.

"Trip that's something you need to discuss with T'Pol but, let's just say, I'm happy the bond it still present because if you'd been alone…" Jon said.

Trip heaved a sigh of relief and nodded. "I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize but…but you know that this can't continue, right?" Jon said kindly. "You'll drink yourself into an artificial liver and…"

"I know, I promise, this was the end," Trip said softly. "I need to get my shit together."

"Well said," Jon chuckled. "Look, I know what happened to her, what she's done to you…well, it's not fair. It's not right. It's not…well, it's not something anyone should have to deal with. But you are a strong man Trip and if anyone can get through this and be better on the other side, it's you."

Trip nodded. "Thanks."

XXX

T'Pol felt his consciousness across their bond and sighed with relief. He was fine. She knew he was in the hospital from the communication Jon sent her, but to feel him back and whole again was a huge relief. Just as she was about to get up and leave her room the baby kicked again. He had been doing a lot of that lately. Small fluttery kicks that she was sure only she could feel, but kicks nonetheless.

Charles had scared her. His pain when she lied to him and claimed the pregnancy as new and the father Koss was one of the worst things she'd ever done in her life. But how else could she explain the growing presence of the baby over their bond? With time the bond would dissipate, and she wouldn't have to hide so much from him. But the child's katra, his soul, was reaching out to both of them while in utero.

Their son was a healthy and developing baby boy 20 weeks and 4 days along. She had seen two more images of him since the first and was relieved to see pointed ears on the last scan. He would blend much better with other Vulcan children that way. The one feature that would not blend was his blue eyes, that was going to prove to be an issue. But, genetic anomalies do occur in any population and T'Pol had been researching various genetic syndromes that could explain the lapse.

She rose from her bed and walked toward the kitchen. Her stomach was larger than usual, but, under lose robes, not noticeable. She needed to get some new clothing as the rubbing of the lose robes was starting to irritate her but all of her fitted clothing was now too small to wear. T'Pol looked toward the PADD laying on the table. If she ordered the jumpsuits now, they would be at her home in a week's time. She rarely left her mother's home and could still wear loose robes when in public to mask her condition. But at home, fitted outfits would be more comfortable.

T'Pol sat down at the PADD to place the order and was mid-selection when she heard Charles across their bond.

" _T'Pol?" Charles inquired._

" _Yes?" She responded. When they'd spoken over the bond in the last few months it had just been auditory, she had refused to meet with him in their 'space'._

" _I heard you were instrumental in getting me to the hospital?" Charles asked._

" _I asked for the Captain to keep me out of this," T'Pol replied coolly._

" _I know, but I just wanted to thank you for saving my sorry ass," Charles said softly. The edge that had been in his voice their last few interactions was gone._

" _You are welcome," T'Pol answered._

" _Look, I'm…I'm sorry I've made this so difficult for you," Charles said kindly. "Especially considering your condition."_

 _T'Pol swallowed hard and closed her eyes to hold back the tears._

" _Thank you," she said softly._

" _How is…how are you doing? You know, with the baby and all?" Charles asked._

 _T'Pol felt a single tear drop from her left eye. "Fine, I am managing the pregnancy well."_

 _She felt him grow sad across the bond._

" _Do you know if it's a boy or a girl yet?" Charles asked_

 _T'Pol considered lying, but in her heart, she couldn't lie to him about this._

" _It's a boy," T'Pol said, her voice cracking. She swallowed a sob that had been building in her throat._

" _A boy, huh?" Charles sighed, and she felt more sadness seep into their bond. "Maybe I can meet him one day?"_

" _Of…of course," T'Pol said quietly._

" _I'd like that," Charles said back. She could feel a little thread of happiness weave its way into his words. "I better go. I promise to leave you alone from now on, but I'd like to know when he arrives, okay?"_

 _T'Pol swallowed hard and allowed more tears to fall from her eyes. "I'll inform you of his birth."_

" _Thanks," Charles said softly. "You take care of yourself, okay? And that little boy."_

 _T'Pol choked another sob back and nodded. It was taking all her willpower to block her emotions from him._

" _I will," she said softly before she cut the communication._

XXX


	15. Chapter 15

Author's Note: Please see the notes in chapter 1. Anything in italics is a bond interaction.

XXX

Trip Tucker had a spring in his step for the first time in a long time. Emily had agreed to go to movie night with him and that made him happy. She was the new Science Officer and, although he should be weary of Science Officers in general, she'd proven herself to be quite different from T'Pol. And different was what he needed right about now.

It had been just over a month since his hospital visit and Trip had slowly come back to himself. He and Emily had started to talk at the Captain's table and discovered that they had a lot in common. She was also a middle child, her parents were Starfleet, and she also skipped two grades in high school and was accepted early to college and Starfleet just like him. She was pretty, friendly, intelligent, and seemed like a genuine individual. There was no hidden agenda or games being played, no secrets being kept.

He had showered and changed and was making his way to her quarters to pick her up when he felt a horrible pain across their bond. It caused him to stop and grab hold of the nearest wall. He shook it off, thinking it couldn't be T'Pol; their bond was practically non-existent now, at least for him. He walked a few more paces to Emily's door and rang her buzzer. Within moments she answered.

"I was beginning to worry," Emily said as she opened her door and gestured for him to come inside.

"Uh," Trip stammered nervously. "We're going to be late for the movie if we don't hurry."

Truth be told, Trip was okay with taking a lady to a movie, but until the divorce papers were through, he was uncomfortable with any sort of physicality with another woman. He, technically, was still a married man.

"Oh, okay," Emily nodded uncomfortably. "I'll just get my mug."

Trip stood and waited in the hallway for her to exit.

Emily exited her room and walked companionably with Trip.

"So, what's the film tonight?" Emily asked.

"It's a secret," Trip smirked at her.

"Even I don't get the inside scoop? What's the point of being your date if there's no insider information?" Emily joked.

"I'll give you a hint," Trip chuckled. "It's a classic that involves a reptile and…"

"Snakes on a Plane!" Emily yelled excitedly.

"How'd you guess…?" Trip inquired.

"Because it's one of my favorites," Emily smiled broadly.

"Mine too," Trip smiled back. "It's totally cheesy and unrealistic, but that's what give it charm."

"I agree!" Emily said excitedly. "I haven't seen it in a few months, but I promise not to embarrass you by reciting the dialogue as it plays."

"You know all the lines?" Trip asked, astounded.

"Mostly," Emily said shyly.

"Wow, you just became about 100X more attractive and interesting in that moment," Trip gaped at her.

"I wasn't attractive and interesting already?" Emily asked, stopping in the middle of a corridor.

Trip stopped walking and stepped back towards her.

"I always thought you were attractive and interesting," he said, flirtatiously.

"Good," Emily said with a smirk. "I am not interested in a man who only wants me for my cheesy movie memorization."

Trip laughed at her joke and nudged her shoulder for her to continue walking.

XXX

T'Pol crawled toward the comm and tried to reach the button. It was no use, she was going to have to partially stand. With all her strength she hauled her growing frame up onto a nearby table and hit the comm button.

"Medical emergency!" She said clearly before she felt her feet give way and she fell onto her back, protecting the son that was growing inside of her. She could feel the blood seeping into her pants and hoped that the medics would get there in time to save her son.

Her pregnancy was just over six months and it had been difficult from beginning until now. She could barely keep food down and had lost more weight at the beginning of her pregnancy that gained. Even now, at six months pregnant she was underweighting and constantly battling with her body to keep down even the smallest amount of food. Her doctors had placed her on a feeding tube a month ago to help with her weight gain and it had temporarily helped. Tomorrow she was scheduled to go in to the hospital again to have another feeding tube inserted for a few days.

She was on blood thinners to deal with the intermix of Human and Vulcan blood in her body, hormone supplements to balance the raging cells in her body that were causing her to lose control of her emotions regularly, and a cocktail of other supplements and vitamins to assure both the Human and Vulcan DNA inside of her replicated properly. Finally, once a week she had to give herself an injection, so her body recognized the fetus as wanted and not foreign, so it wouldn't be rejected. Today, right after she finished her needle an enormous pain radiated across her abdomen, dropping her to the ground for minutes before she could even bare to crawl to the comm system.

Within a few minutes Medics were coming through her front door and assessing her condition.

"The baby is half human," T'Pol said clearly as she watched them take readings of her son's heart rate. "My medical records are on that disc."

She pointed to a disc sitting on the counter.

One of the medics got up and quickly swiped the disc off the counter and inserted it into the device he was carrying.

"I have the information," he said to T'Pol and his fellow medic. "Have you had your injection this week?"

"Just now, right afterwards was when the pain and the bleeding started," T'Pol said as she watched them both take her body and carefully place her on a stretcher.

"I will administer a second dose and…"

"No!" T'Pol barked. "The first dose did this!"

"Please control yourself," the other medic warned her.

T'Pol watched them exchange looks and she worried what that meant.

"I am perfectly in control and I…"

A hypospray was placed on her neck and she went unconscious before she could finish her sentence.

XXX

In the middle of Snakes on a Plane, when Trip should have been enjoying himself, he was struck by a heavy feeling of unease. Something was wrong, he wasn't sure what, but something was wrong. That little presence, that T'Pol had explained was hers and Koss' baby, got louder. It was now a soft giggle, a little yawn, a quiet gurgle and a restlessness that couldn't be abated. Why the hell was he suddenly sensing so much about her baby?

"I'll be right back," Trip said as he leaned into Emily who was silently mouthing the words to the film.

He stepped out into the hallway and attempted to contact T'Pol for the first time in almost five weeks. He got nothing. He tried again. Still nothing. But that baby, her baby, was still there and he was getting more and more restless. Trip reached out to the baby and found that he felt a definite connection there. He sent comforting thoughts to him and tried to mask the worry he felt in that moment. Something must be wrong with T'Pol if she's ignoring him and her baby is nervous.

Trip would never let a child suffer, even if he was created by his wife and her Vulcan boyfriend. So, he thought of nursery rhymes he remembered, and lullabies from his childhood. He sang them to her little boy in hopes that he could be of some assistance in this child's time of upset. Trip slowly walked back to his quarters, the entire time communicating with the little man and trying to ease his upset. It seemed to be working because he felt less restlessness as he sang and recited limericks, and calmer. The little guy giggled and gurgled a lot more and made smacking noises with his mouth. It was, by far, the strangest bond interaction Trip had ever been part of and, he thought, no one would believe him if he told them he was communication with T'Pol and Koss's son.

An hour later, Trip sensed the little baby start to fall into a restful sleep. He continued to sing to him until he was sure he was out for the count and then Trip tried to contact T'Pol again. Nothing.

Still bothered by this, he sat down at his console and opened his communications. If she wouldn't respond to him over their bond, she'd respond to his communication.

Trip looked through his 15 unopened communications and paused at one that was unfamiliar but in Vulcan. Trip opened the communication and hit the translate button. He leaned back in his chair and waited the thirty seconds it would take to complete the translation.

The subject line of the communication was confusing. It read: T'Pol Tucker Emergency Response. The remainder of the communication was a bunch of numbers and what looked like drugs that may have been administered. It was dated today. Trip would have to take it to Phlox to get him to explain all the information.

He scrolled down to the next communication in the series. It read: T'Pol Tucker Examination. Trip read the first line about her blood pressure and thought that maybe it was time to close the communication. It was obviously sent to him in error. But he read on. The file noted that her pregnancy was progressing normally and that her supplements and injections were working favorably toward a healthy outcome.

He scrolled to the next communication. It read: T'Pol Tucker Scan. It was a scan of her son, he was a blob with discernible legs, arms, and head. Trip looked closely at the third picture in the series and could even see the lad's private parts and pointed ears. It made him sad to look at the son that would never be his.

Next, he scrolled down to the next communication. It read: T'Pol Tucker Nutritional Supplementation. Apparently, she had been losing weight and the doctors had decided that a feeding tube was to supplement the child.

Trip scrolled down to the next communication even though he felt like he was reading the equivalent to her medical diary. He vowed that this would be his last one, that he would send back the remainder of her file un-read and explain it had been sent to him in error. That he was about to become her ex-husband and was not privy to this medical information about her any longer.

The file read: Recessive Human DNA Complications. Apparently, there was a concern that human DNA, although not dominant, would pose a complication and the doctors were exploring…

Trip paused and re-read the subject line again. Why would human DNA complicate T'Pol's pregnancy? Trip quickly scrolled to the next communication and read about the injections she was using weekly, so her half human fetus would not be rejected by her Vulcan body. He read communication after communication, ignoring the buzz at his door or someone trying to get to him. Then the numbers on the files started to make sense. The number at the top of the file indicated the progression of her pregnancy. She was currently just over six months pregnant which would place conception at…pon farr.

"Holy hell!" Trip gasped as he scanned the files again and again.

She was pregnant with his child! That was why he felt the baby, could communicate with the baby—it was his. Then why the flying fuck had she left him?!

Trip downloaded the files onto his PADD. As it worked, Trip grabbed a bag and started to stuff clothing into his bag. He was going to get to Vulcan come hell or high water. Once the files were saved and stored he called Jon and explained. Jon, dumbfounded with the news, agreed to set a course closer to Vulcan; they couldn't go the entire way, but he could get Trip as close as possible.

XXX


	16. Chapter 16

Author's Note: Please see the notes in Chapter 1. Anything in italics is a bond interaction. Please be aware that I am not a doctor or any sort of medical personnel. All the medical stuff in this chapter comes from my imagination and what is possible in the future.

XXX

Trip Tucker marched down the hallway of the medical facility toward T'Pol's room with a bag slung over his shoulder; he had literally just stepped off a Transport vessel and went straight to the hospital. As her current husband he was privy to all kinds of information once he made himself known. Jon got him within one light year of Vulcan and an Ersa Transport Vessel brought him the rest of the way. In the one day he'd been traveling to get to her, Trip had been able to speak with her doctors, her mother, and the EMT's that found her. What he discovered was jarring.

She was 26 weeks pregnant with his son. A half Human-half Vulcan child that had been conceived naturally; much to every Vulcan doctor's amazement. She had a rough pregnancy but nothing that was life threatening until now. Now, her body was rejecting the baby and the doctors were puzzled about how to help. Her Vulcan DNA seemed to be shutting down all the functions that had been accommodating Trip's Human DNA. Things like Human blood were almost non-existent in her body, Human cells disappearing quickly, and Human amino acids dying off.

If something wasn't done quickly, both she and the baby could die. The most plausible idea had been sent to him by some Dr Kiy, and Trip had informed the hospital that once he arrived they could try it. As her husband he was also given full authority to make any medical decisions about T'Pol and the baby and he'd be damned if he was going to let either of them die. They had a lot to discuss when this was all over, but for now his focus needed to be on saving her and their son.

Trip paused mid-step. Every time he said or thought about their son he felt his heart race a little bit; there was a child inside her that would be the best of each of them. Trip closed his eyes, sent a quick prayer to any god that may be listening and continued his march forward.

"I'm Commander Charles Tucker and I'm here about my wife T'Pol," Trip told the man sitting behind the desk near her room.

"Yes, the doctors are in with her right now," he said as he stood. "I'll need to scan your eyes for verification of identity."

"Sure," Trip nodded impatiently as he looked toward the door she was behind. She had not become conscious once, and had been kept in a medically induced coma to mitigate any trauma to her or the baby.

"You are cleared to enter," the man at the desk said with a nod. Trip took two large steps forward and was in her room looking around.

"Commander Tucker?" an elderly Vulcan man inquired.

"Yes," Trip said as he swallowed hard and looked at a very pregnant T'Pol asleep on the bed. She looked like every ounce of body weight was in her stomach. Her arms, her neck, and her face all looked bone thin.

"We were just discussing the option Dr Kiy proposed," the elderly doctor indicated.

"I think we need to try it," Trip said with a nod. "I've read all the documents."

"The risk to you is…"

"I have also read the risks," Trip said clearly. "When can we start?"

The Vulcan doctors all exchanged looks and nodded.

"Immediately," Dr Poy said as he gestured for Trip to follow him.

An hour later Trip was laying in a bed hooked up to several machines, laying next to him was T'Pol, still unconscious, but also hooked up to machines.

He watched as his blood, his white blood cells, his amino acids were drawn from him, cleaned and re-circulated into T'Pol's system.

"How long until we know if this is working?" Trip asked after a few minutes.

"We should know in seven to twelve minutes," the doctor monitoring him indicated.

All the other doctors were across the room looking at monitors and readings.

"Has this procedure been done this way before?" Trip asked.

"Theoretically," the doctor nearest to him replied.

"The file I read spoke of a patient…Whe," Trip said, confused.

"Whe was a goat," the doctor closest to him indicated.

"Oh," Trip sighed, he must have missed that as he sped read the file. "Is Whe okay?"

"Whe did quite well," the doctor said casually as the other doctors suddenly huddled around one screen. "He and his mate had two healthy offspring."

"Good to know that Whe paved the way for this," Trip chuckled, he was feeling slightly light-headed.

Dr's Kiy and Poy along with some others Trip couldn't remember the name of approached him and nodded for the doctor monitoring him to stop the process.

"It is working, "Dr Poy said. "The treatment is promising. As the child grows and adapts so will treatment but we have calculated the success rate, based on current information, at 47.68 percent."

"Not even 50?" Trip asked, his spirits darkened.

"Commander Tucker, may I remind you that your chance of conceiving naturally was less than 6 percent," Dr Poy said nicely. "Your family appears to thrive on, how do humans say? 'Hedging the odds"

"Beating the odds?" Trip smiled at him. "Yes, I guess we do."

He looked over at T'Pol and smiled. "Can she come out of her sedation or…?"

"We will awaken her in 58 minutes," Dr Kiy indicated. "We are estimating, at this stage, she will require a transfusion once every three days. The need will grow as the child grows."

"Does she need to stay in the hospital or…?"

"She may return home, but she is on complete bed rest and there is to be no stress, or emotional outbursts that may upset her," Dr Poy explained. "I know you have much to discuss, but it will have to wait until a healthy child is delivered."

Trip nodded in agreement. "I promise."

"Then she is released into your care," Dr Poy nodded. "We will see you again in three days, unless there are further complications. She must be monitored always. And you are expected to rest and take the required medications to rejuvenate your own blood supply."

Trip nodded in agreement and looked toward T'Pol. Any explanation for why she decided to do this to him, to them, would have to wait. Right now, he needed to focus on the health of T'Pol and their son. Everything else was insignificant.

XXX

"My baby," T'Pol gasped as she came to an hour later.

"He's fine," Trip said softly as he stood and leaned over her.

"Charles?" T'Pol asked, confused. Then she lay her head back and in a very un-Vulcan like fashion groaned loudly.

"That's a nice welcome," Trip chuckled.

"You are obviously a figment of my medical state," T'Pol mumbled to herself. She closed her eyes and tried to focus on the katra of her son. It was present and strong.

"Sorry," Trip said as he took her hand in his. "I'm actually here. You're in the T'Vek Medical facility and you have been under sedation for just over two days."

T'Pol's brow wrinkled and she looked at him as her hands came around her stomach.

"And I know about him too," Trip said softly. "But I'm not here to talk about all that now. How are you feeling?"

"Charles, I… there's no…" T'Pol started as tears formed in her eyes.

"Hey, wait. We're not talking about that, okay?" Trip said with a small smile. "Just about your health and the baby's, alright? The doctors said no stress."

T'Pol nodded and looked at him confused.

"What?" Trip asked.

"How did come to be here?" T'Pol asked.

"Transport vessel," Trip smirked at her.

"No, I mean…"

"He called to me," Trip said softly.

She closed her eyes and a single tear escaped from the side of one.

"Hey," Trip said as he squeezed her hand. "He's fine."

She released a soft sob and wiped at her face. "I have been having many issues controlling my emotions."

"I can see that," Trip said gently. "But you know I don't care about that sort of thing."

T'Pol looked around cautiously. "They do."

Trip dropped her hand and drew a curtain around her bed for some privacy.

"Better?" He asked.

"Thank you," T'Pol nodded. "Charles, thank you for…for saving him."

"I just stepped in," Trip smiled as he sat down on a chair next to her bed. "It sounds like you've been through a hell of a time these last six months."

T'Pol said nothing in return. She felt horrible keeping this from him; doing this to him. She had caused him so much pain, was there any way it could be forgiven?

"The doctors have released you to my care after the noon meal," Trip said as he sat back in his chair.

"Your care?" T'Pol asked, surprised.

"I'm still your husband," Trip said, trying to keep the edge out of his voice.

T'Pol sighed and looked at him. "Charles, we need to talk about…"

"Nothing," Trip interrupted. "Nothing until this baby is born safely. We will both get too upset and that's not good for him or for you. I need you to promise me that, T'Pol."

T'Pol looked at him mystified. How could this emotionally volatile human postpone the tirade she was sure he wanted to reign upon her for her actions?

"Promise me," Trip pleaded.

T'Pol closed her eyes and felt more tears start to inch their way from the corners of her eyes.

"I promise," she said, her voice cracking.

She heard him take a large intake of air; he was relieved.

"Well then, let's get some food into you," Trip said with a smile. "I have never seen you so thin before."

"I am not digesting food well," T'Pol explained.

"Darlin' I can see that," Trip smiled down at her. "But this hospital has a goodly supply of Earth food, so I picked you up a few of my favorites for a queasy stomach."

"How do you know about these foods?" T'Pol questioned. "You have never been pregnant."

"No, but I've been hung over more times then I care to remember, and an upset stomach is an upset stomach," Trip said as he placed a few small packets on the table next to her and opened one sliding a square onto a plate and cutting it in half before presenting it to her. "Allow me to introduce you to the Saltine."

XXX


	17. Chapter 17

Author's Note: Please see notes in Chapter 1. Anything in italics is a bond interaction.

XXX

Trip Tucker could get used to this. Every morning as he was coming back to consciousness he heard his son's soft gurgle in the back of his mind combined with T'Pol's quiet glow as she meditated. They had long given up on him getting up at 4 am and making breakfast for everyone after a few days; he was exhausted and needed his morning rest. Trip also had to admit that the fall after the adrenaline rush of getting to Vulcan had taken its toll on him. Between the transfusions every few days, taking care of T'Pol, and the exhaustion from his life and work schedule on Enterprise, he could sleep for weeks at a time if given the opportunity.

T'Les, thankfully, got T'Pol her morning meal at the ungodly hour of 4:30 am and Trip rose from his bed and checked on T'Pol at 7am. Most of his day was spent getting her things and feeding her, the rest he spent reading, catching up on news, and trying to calm his emotions. Half of him was just happy that she hadn't fallen out of love with him, taken up with Koss and got pregnant by him. Another half of him, the one he spent a great deal of time tempering, was madder than hell at her for what she put him through. That was the side, for the sake of everyone's health, that he kept locked away from her and their son in the bond. For now, they were in a holding pattern, not discussing the past or the future, merely living in the here and now.

"You're awake earlier than usual," T'Les said as he meandered from his room.

"Sorry," Trip apologized. He knew he was interrupting her meditation time, but he was incredibly thirsty and needed a drink of water.

"It's fine," T'Les said as she gracefully stood from her meditation cushion and looked at him.

"She's had breakfast?" Trip inquired.

"Yes, but she is incredibly emotional today," T'Les said crisply.

"She is, is she?" Trip asked before he filled up a glass with water. For T'Les, overly emotional was any sort of expression above a clipped voice and a raised eyebrow.

"She was sobbing earlier," T'Les noted.

"Crying? Like just a tear or two or…?"

"Sobbing, uncontrollably," T'Les explained. "She asked me to leave."

Trip looked at her unsurprised. T'Pol frequently requested privacy from her mother when she felt out of control. He wasn't ever asked to leave.

"I'll go check on her," Trip supplied before he downed the remainder of his water and placed the glass next to the sink. He saw T'Les look at the glass with disdain. Vulcans immediately did any dishes they created, but Trip knew he would use the glass again and saw no need to wash it if it was just getting filled with water again.

Living with T'Les these last few weeks had given him a new appreciation for his own mother. Her 'run a tight ship' attitude was downright casual compared to T'Les and her Vulcan household rules.

Trip walked past her toward T'Pol's room, his bare feet slapping against the floor as he went.

"Do you love her?" T'Les asked him just before he reached T'Pol's closed door.

Trip turned to her and took a couple steps in T'Les' direction.

"Of course, I do," Trip said surely.

"Even after everything she has done to you?" T'Les asked.

"I don't like her much, right now," Trip admitted. "But I can't ever stop loving her. She's as much a part of me as…well, as I am."

T'Les nodded and, obviously uncomfortable by the subject, turned away from him and started to pack her bag.

"You have remembered that I am leaving for the conference today?" T'Les inquired.

"Yes, we'll see you Saturday," Trip nodded.

"If you need…" T'Les started.

"I'll call," Trip nodded before he turned on his heel and reached for T'Pol's door. Truthfully, he was happy to be rid of T'Les for a few days. He knew it was her home, and her rules, but Trip wanted to just kick his feet up and relax a little; that was almost impossible wit T'Les around.

He opened the door and peered inside. He saw a large heap of covers on the bed and nothing more.

"T'Pol?" Trip inquired.

"Here," her vice came from underneath the blankets.

"Why are you under there?" Trip asked as he walked toward her with a smile.

"I am unsure," T'Pol admitted. "But it brings me comfort."

"Okay," Trip said slowly before he lifted a corner, squatted down and looked at her under the blankets.

"Your mother said you were upset?" He asked as he noticed the glistening tear tracks on her cheeks.

"I am…was," T'Pol replied, quickly fixing her words.

"Mind telling me what about?" Trip asked as he continued to hold up the edge of the blanket and look at her.

"I am unsure," T'Pol replied, carefully.

"Darlin, it's just the hormones," Trip said softly as he moved under the blanket a little more.

"Physiologically my body is dealing with two different endocrine systems and that is causing upset," T'Pol said logically.

"Yes, yes it is," Trip smiled at her. "No one expects that you'll coast through this, you know?"

T'Pol's eyes quickly shifted to his and then back down again.

Trip knew she was done talking about hormones and her emotional upheaval. As systems went, their son appeared to be mainly Vulcan. His heart was located closer to his abdomen, he appeared to have inner eyelids, pointed ears, and a larger Vulcan brain but his eyes were blue, his hair light in colour, his endocrine system that of a human, and his skin colour appeared less copper-like.

"Hey, we haven't discussed names," Trip said, changing the subject.

T'Pol looked at him confused.

"What? Vulcans don't name their children until their first birthday or something?" Trip asked with a chuckle.

"His name is to be Charles," T'Pol said as she continued to look at him confused. "In keeping with your family tradition."

Trip was taken aback by her matter-of-fact statement.

"Really? You want that?" Trip asked, his voice cracking slightly.

"Of course," T'Pol said as she knitted her eyebrows together. "Is that not your preference?"

Trip swallowed hard and looked away from her for a moment, gathering his own emotions that he knew she could feel across their bond.

"Uh, yeah, I'd like that too," Trip said softly as he met her eyes again.

T'Pol reached out and took Charles hand in hers and looked at him seriously. "He was always going to be Charles Tucker the fourth."

A seed of anger forced its way up and between them before Charles could tamp it back down again and T'Pol realized, in that moment how astute he's become at blocking. He was angry with her in that moment, but he didn't want her to know. Her mention of the name his son would always bear reminded him that, had it not been for a mistaken e-mail, he may never have met this Charles Tucker the fourth.

"Charles, I want to tell you that I am deeply…" T'Pol started before Trip leaned back and dropped the blanket down, taking his leave from the conversation.

"I'll run the water for your bath," Trip said, from somewhere a few feet away. "It'll make you feel better."

T'Pol slowly pulled the blankets away from her head and looked around to see she was alone again.

XXX

"And how are things between the two of you?" Jon asked Trip over the video call.

"I'm expending a great deal of energy blocking my emotions," Trip said as he leaned back into the lounge chair on the patio. It was late a night, the only time it was cool enough to be comfortable outside. T'Pol was asleep and he felt he could speak freely without her overhearing.

"You're still that angry, huh?" Jon asked.

"How could I not be?" Trip snapped. "I could have never known about my son."

"Has she said why?" Jon asked.

"We're not talking about any of that until after he arrives," Trip said. "No stress, and believe me, my emotions right now would cause her a lot of stress."

"Trip, you've got to remember that T'Pol is incredibly logical," Jon said as he tried to calm his friend down. "In her mind there must have been a VERY logical reason to do this."

"What's logical about hiding a pregnancy and running away?" Trip asked, beside himself.

"In her mind, there was something logical about it," Jon said calmly.

"It sounds like you think I'm over-reacting," Trip said annoyed.

"No, it's not that at all," Jon said, trying to calm his friend. "I think that you taking a leave, stepping in and taking care of her, doing all those transfusions to save your son, and putting aside all your questions and anger is probably one of the most honourable things I have ever witnessed in my life."

"I'm sensing a bit BUT here," Trip sighed.

"Not a but, more of a consideration," Jon amended. "You still love her, don't you?"

Trip wiped his face with his hand and leaned into a hand pinching his temples and covering his eyes. "Yeah."

"Then maybe consider that fact that she still loves you as well," Jon said. "All of your actions, despite your anger, are done out of love. Maybe all hers were as well?"

"She loved me so much she left me and was going to deny me my child?" Trip asked as he raised his eyes to met Jon's on the screen. "Really?"

"That's from your perspective Trip," Jon said softly. "Think about it from hers."

Trip sighed and nodded his head.

"There was, in her mind, a very good reason she did this," Jon said. "So instead of letting your anger build and fester over the next few weeks until she delivers…maybe you start to get rid of it. That baby is going to need two parents that aren't at each other's throats. You'll get your explanation, in time, and decide then if you can live with it."

Trip nodded and took a deep breath.

"You better get to bed, tomorrows a transfusion day, isn't it?" Jon asked.

"Yeah, I'll talk with you in a few weeks," Trip said with a smile. "You're going to come back to meet him after he's born, right?"

"And see you and your neat freak wife try and handle poopy diapers and a screaming baby? I'm not missing that for the world," Jon chuckled. "Say 'hi' to T'Pol for me, will you?"

"Of course," Trip smiled at his friend before the connection was broken.

Trip rose from his chair and looked up at the dark night sky. Jon was right; allowing his anger to build was not going to anyone any good. He was taking up too much energy blocking his emotions, he was allowing her choices and miss-steps to occupy his thoughts, and she deserved someone who was more present in their bond to support her. Because, much to Trip's chagrin, he wasn't astute enough at blocking to just block some bad emotions, he blocked her out almost completely. She needed better from him.

Trip took several deep breaths and thought of all the anger that was inside of him. Tears sprang from his eyes and he picked up a cushion and screamed into it. He screamed for the loss of his sister, his daughter, his wife. He screamed for the unfairness that seemed to cloud his life. He screamed for the lost months, the years ahead, and the loss of the past he had with her. He screamed and said all the things he wanted to yell at her until his voice was hoarse and the cushion was soaked with tears, saliva, and steam from his breath. He then threw the cushion across the patio and kicked the shit out of a potted plant.

Heaving with exertion and spent of his anger, Trip sat heavily on a lounge chair and laid back to look at the night sky. His breath eventually slowed, and his heart rate dropped slowly. He looked and looked at all the stars and thought about the bigger picture. They were still married, they had a son on the way, he still loved her. He needed to focus on that. On only that.

"I forgive you darlin," Trip whispered as his eyes got heavy. "God help me, I forgive you, no matter the reason."

Trip's mind, now quiet and free of anger relaxed and he drifted off into a peaceful sleep with the night air warming him.

XXX


	18. Chapter 18

Trip woke, not to the sun blazing down on his face, as he expected, but to the sight of a large umbrella overhead, blocking the sun.

"Whaaa?" He asked as he looked at the large shade.

"You fell asleep out here," T'Pol said from off to his left.

Trip turned his head quickly and saw her sitting on a lounge chair next to him just looking at him.

"Why are you all the way out here?!" Trip asked, alarmed. She was supposed to restrict movement to her room, if possible. Today was actually their last transfusion day at the hospital because mobility was stressing her system. Pretty soon hospital equipment and a nurse were arriving to live with them.

"You needed me," T'Pol said simply.

"What?" Trip asked, confused as he sat up.

"You fainlly opened the bond some more and I felt…hostility on the edge of it, I was worried you had encountered a Shealat," T'Pol admitted. "But apparently it was just hostility toward me."

"Now Darlin' I…"

"I deserve your anger Charles," T'Pol said as she focused on his eyes. "I know you have been tempering it since you arrived, but I am not an idiot. I know you are angry with me. Furious, in fact. You should be."

"We're not talking about…" Trip started.

"I wish to talk about it," T'Pol said forcefully. "I need you to know that…"

"T'Pol, we are not risking the baby," Trip said as he sat up fully and moved toward her.

"If you keep stopping me from talking we will risk the baby because you cause my stress levels to elevate, but if you would just let me speak, they will not," T'Pol cautioned him.

Trip sighed heavily and closed his eyes, focusing on tempering his emotions, no matter what she said, he would not react negatively.

"Fine," he said as he opened his eyes and met hers.

"You turned down a Captaincy," T'Pol said clearly. "Several months before my accident."

"I did," Trip said, shocked she knew.

"Your family doesn't like me," T'Pol said.

"They are just…cautious," Trip hedged.

"We cannot live on Earth, the incident at the drive in theatre makes that apparent," T'Pol said clearly.

"Those were a couple of Terra Prime assholes," Trip said quickly. "I'm sure there are many other places we can live, quite peacefully, on Earth. Egypt, I hear is…"

"You hate the desert," T'Pol said quickly.

"I'll learn to love it," Trip amended.

"Do you not see a pattern here, Charles?" T'Pol asked.

Trip looked at her confused.

"Do you not see the series of sacrifices you are making in the rest of your life to remain married to me?" T'Pol asked.

"Sacrifices?" Trip asked.

"You could have been a Starfleet Captain, but you turned it down to remain in a relationship with me and…"

"Whoa, now hold on there, where is your information coming from?" Trip asked.

T'Pol just stared at him.

"T'Pol?"

"Your mother indicated that you could have been a Captain if it wasn't for me," T'Pol said softly. "And I know that the offer was a secret you kept from me."

"I did keep it from you," Trip admitted. "Not because I was sacrificing anything, but because I didn't want you to be disappointed in me."

T'Pol looked at him confused.

"It was to Captain a Class M Friggate in deep space," Trip said as he met her eyes. "Sure, it was a Captaincy, but a crappy Captaincy. I think it showed the lack of faith Starfleet may still have in me."

"Why would they…?"

"I've been a hothead on more then one occasion," Trip admitted. "Made some stupid choices over the years. I think I need to spend a few more years erasing those mistakes before a good Captaincy is offered to me. I didn't want to share that with you because I was…well, I was embarrassed."

"You are an excellent Commander and Engineer and any…"

"And I knew you'd say that to make me feel better," Trip chuckled as he reached over and placed a hand on her knee. "And as far as Earth goes, it's no sacrifice to not live near my family, or on Earth at all. I got into Starfleet knowing I was an explorer, that I'd be away for years at a time, and I was good with that. I love my family, and I want us to visit them, but I don't need to live down the block from them, I never did, even before you."

T'Pol swallowed hard and placed a hand over his that was resting on her knee.

"I may never get my memories back," she said softly. "I am not sure if I am capable of the kind of love humans need. A human woman could…"

"Wait," Trip said as she looked up at her sharply. "Are you telling me that you did all this…left me, lied about our son, started the divorce…all of it, because you thought you were not good for me?"

T'Pol's eyes grew wide at his admission and she didn't have to say anything to tell him that he had hit the nail on the head.

"You've got to be joking, right?!" Trip snapped a little too loudly. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't…we shouldn't even be talking about any of this and…"

T'Pol leaned forward and looked at him directly in the eyes. "I honestly thought the best future for you was one that didn't include me. You were unhappy, you lost the me you loved, you turned down a Captaincy, your family didn't like me, Terra Prime was present on Earth, and now a child…you would sacrifice even more for him and I thought that you had already sacrificed enough."

"Don't you think," Trip said, trying to take the edge out of his voice. "That was my decision to make?"

"Probably," T'Pol nodded. "But I wasn't willing to risk your future happiness on your decision. Logic dictated that I decide for you."

"Logic?" Trip gasped.

"You hadn't made logical choices regarding your relationship with me in the past," T'Pol said. "Logic dictates that same behaviour would continue in the future."

Trip sighed and leaned forward until their faces were inches apart. "Darlin', I'm not happy with what you've done. I'm not happy at all, but that's another conversation for another day. But I need you to know this: beyond anything else in this world, I know I love you. I know that staying with you has never been a sacrifice. Never been something that would ever lead to any regrets. Never. You are the most important person in my life and our son…"

He placed his hand on her protruding belly and a single tear fell from his eye.

"Our son is the greatest gift that you can ever give me," Trip said honestly as he met her eyes. "Don't ever make a decision like this for me again, because you may think you know what is best for me, here."

Trip pointed to his temple.

"But you are, and will always be, what's best for me here," Trip said as he placed his open hand over his heart.

T'Pol felt tears drop freely from her eyes and she nodded.

"I'm sorry," she said simply.

"I know," he said honestly.

Trip leaned forward and kissed her lips gently before he pulled back and looked at her; their bond open as fully as it had been before her accident.

The openness of him surprised T'Pol and she cupped his cheek with her palm and leaned her forehead so it rested against his.

"We're going to be just fine," Trip said assuredly and, she knew, he was right.

XXXXXXXXX


	19. Chapter 19

Author's Note: Please see notes in Chapter 1.

XXXX

Trip quietly slid out of bed and ambled toward the washroom connected to T'Pol's room. He had moved into her room a few weeks ago, much to T'Les' annoyance. But, it was not only practical, but something they both needed. He went to bed each night with her frame snuggled up against him, and woke each morning with her body moved away and a stray arm usually flung across his throat or face.

The nurse had moved into the guest room he had previously occupied, so she could be close to T'Pol. If he hadn't moved in with T'Pol, Trip would have to stay in the only other guest room in the house which was, technically not in the house. It was a guest home about fifty feet from the back door. And that, was unacceptable.

What he liked most about this arrangement was that his proximity to T'Pol allowed him to share her nightly dreams. She dreamt of a sweet child on her hip, Trip teaching him to ride a small bicycle, her mother teaching him ethics, and the young man he would one day become. Trip was, technically, exhausted because he spent almost every night watching her dreams, willing his eyes to stay open so he could see more and more of her dream. Eventually he succumbed to sleep each night and dragged his ass out of bed to dress each morning before the nurse, T'Mar, came in to assist T'Pol.

Trip had just finishing watering the toilet when he heard a knock on their door. T'Mar was not as predictable a Vulcan as he had hoped, her morning entrance sometimes varied by 20 minutes.

"Come in," he heard T'Pol call to her. The door opened and now Trip was trapped in the washroom in his underwear. It was unacceptable for him to step into the bedroom dressed as he was because T'Mar was an un-bonded female. If he'd only grabbed his sweatpants and t-shirt on the way in pee all would be well now.

He heard the two women speaking Vulcan and tried to send a message to T'Pol to ask T'Mar to leave for a moment, so he didn't have to stand in his skivvies on the tile floor for the next half hour, but her thoughts were otherwise occupied.

Trip walked over to the shower and decided that he may as well get one in while he was stuck there. He turned on the water and adjusted the heat to be less scalding and stepped into the shower. The water felt nice on his tired body; he had to stop watching her dreams and actually sleep. But those dreams brought him a lot of comfort and, with their relationship in this fragile state, it was nice to be reassured.

Trip finished washing his hair and was washing his chest when a pain so jarring that it brought him to his knees shot across his body like a canon.

"What the hell?" Trip asked as he staggered back to standing. He shook his head from side to side and tried to clear his blurred vision.

Gripping the side of the shower he stepped out into solid, less slippery ground and heard T'Mar speaking in a panicked voice in their bedroom.

"T'Pol?" He called out as another wave of pain caused him to grab onto the towel hook for dear life as he felt his head pound as if he'd been rocked by another football player and brought to the ground.

"Mr. Tucker!" T'Mar called in a voice he could only describe as panicked.

Trip swiped the small towel off the hook and absently wrapped it around his waist before he staggered into their bedroom and saw T'Mar carrying something quite red toward the washroom.

"What's going on?" Trip asked as he tried to shake his head clear again.

"She's in labour," T'Mar said as he paused and took in his scantily clad appearance.

"She's what?! She can't be, the baby is weeks away by human standards and almost two months away by Vulcan," Trip said as he took two large steps toward T'Pol who was sweating and breathing heavily.

He looked down and saw lots of blood, more blood then should even be in anyone, soaking the sheets below her waist.

"Call the doctor!" Trip screamed as he looked between T'Pol and the brown blood soaking through everything.

"I have," T'Mar said as she threw some fresh towels down on the bed. "He is coming."

"What do we do until then?" Trip asked, looking for someway to help.

"We need to stop the bleeding," T'Mar said as she looked at T'Pol and then Trip, unsure of what to do next. "I need to stop the bleeding manually, but I also need to prepare a hypo spray with…"

"Show me what to do," Trip said as he noted T'Pol's face scrunched up and another wave of pain shook across his body causing him to heavily sit on the bed next to her. She was making grunting noises.

"It's a very private…" T'Mar hedged.

"Just tell me!" Trip snapped as he wiped some sweat off his forehead and tried to mentally calm his pounding head.

"Place the fresh towels and pressure between her legs and even inside of her, if you…I think maybe I should…"

"Go get the hypo spray, I've got this!" Trip snapped at her as he gathered some towels and started to peel away the blood-soaked sheets and pull off her blood-soaked underwear.

"Charles…" T'Pol cried as she looked at bloody materials being thrown on the floor at his feet.

"You are going to be okay, darlin," Trip said as he threw her underwear on the ground to join the sheets. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you or to him."

T'Pol nodded absently and gasped when he pressed a towel forcefully against her vagina, his hand and the towel even coming up inside of her slightly. The pressure was uncomfortable and strong, as if he was putting all his weight behind it.

"I'm sorry, this is going to leave you badly bruised but if it stops the bleeding…" Trip said as he met her eyes and then pushed even harder against her inside.

"Uhhh!" T'Pol grunted as she felt even more pressure against her sensitive region.

"I'm sorry darlin," Trip said as he looked at her with a grimace. "You can hate me for this later."

T'Pol couldn't formulate words she was experiencing so much pressure from him.

Every minute or so T'Pol felt him push even harder into her; she had no idea that the last amount of pressure was not all she could tolerate until he did it again and she felt even stronger pressure inside of her. She tried to pull away slightly to ease the pain, but he grabbed her bare hip and pulled her toward him even more.

"I'm sorry," Trip said honestly as he clamped his hand down harshly on her waist.

"Ahhh!" T'Pol moaned as she felt her body pinned in place.

Trip looked between her legs for the first time since this started and noted that her bleeding had slowed. No longer was blood gushing out of her and onto his hand.

"It's working," Trip smiled down at her.

T'Pol nodded and winced as he shifted his hand slightly.

"Now, where is T'Mar with the fucking hypo spray?" Trip asked she he looked over his shoulder. "T'Mar?!"

It was a few more minutes before T'Mar entered the room with a hypo spray in hand.

"What took so long?" Trip asked annoyed as he reached up with his free hand and wiped some sweat off T'Pol's brow.

T'Mar looked at the scene before her and winced. Mr. Tucker's entire hand seemed to be inside T'Pol and part of his arm. His towel had fallen off and he was totally naked and unaware of his exposure; his sole focus was on his mate.

"I had to confirm the dosage, so the child wasn't harmed," T'Mar said as she noted active bleeding was no longer occurring. "You have done an admirable job with placing pressure on the wound."

Trip said nothing and just looked at his wincing wife. This was a horrible situation to be in; he was causing her a great deal of pain.

"I love you," Trip said as he met her eyes. "I'm so sorry."

T'Pol just nodded quickly with acknowledgement and closed her eyes.

T'Mar administered the hypo spray and T'Pol relaxed all around his hand. Trip looked up and saw that she was now asleep.

"What does the hypo do, besides knock her out?" Trip asked as he shifted slightly so he could get a better look at T'Mar.

"It helps clot her blood," T'Mar said as she thought of the best possible way to deal with this uncomfortable situation. Both the Tuckers were completely naked, bloody sheets, towels and underwear were piled on the floor, and Mr. Tucker's hand and part of his arm were now inside his wife placing pressure on the bleed.

T'Mar stood next to Mr. Tucker and then bent down. "Perhaps I should take over while you…"

"I'm not moving my hand until the doc gets here," Trip said with a shake to his head. "She's already lost so much blood…"

T'Mar sighed and stood next to him looking around the room. She picked up all the bloodied towels and took them to the laundry chute before she went to T'Pol's closet and found a lavender silk robe that she brought to Mr. Tucker. T'Mar draped it over his naked back and held out an arm to help him at least get part of his body into it.

"This is T'Pol's…" Trip said as he put his arm into the one side.

"It's all that is available to cover you," T'Mar said coolly.

"Uh, sorry, my towel must have…" Trip stammered. He could have burst into a chuckle at the absurdity of the situation had he not been so worried about T'Pol and their baby.

"The doctor should be here in four minutes," T'Mar explained as she reached for a clean sheet and placed it over T'Pol's body.

"Will she be okay? The…the baby?" Trip stammered.

"I cannot draw any conclusions at this time, Mr. Tucker" T'Mar said softly.

Trip nodded and his head dropped down to his chest. He prayed to any god that may listen that T'Pol and his son would be fine.

Four minutes later there was a knock at the door and T'Mar scurried, as only an anxious Vulcan could, to the front door to allow him entrance.

A half hour later Trip was washing her blood from his hand and arm and trying to scrub her from underneath his finger nails. Tears were running down his face and he found himself buckling over the sink and holding onto it for support. The doctor had managed to stop her labour but whether she or the baby would survive until he could be born safely was unknown.

Trip wiped the snot from his face and looked in the mirror at his reddened complexion before he turned back to his bloody fingernails and scrubbed them completely clean of any remaining blood. He was determined that nothing was going to happen to either of them.

"Mr. Tucker?" The doctor called from outside the door.

"Just a…just a moment," Trip said as he wiped at his eyes and tried to pull himself together.

Five minutes later he opened the door, still wearing her lavender silk bathrobe, his face still revealing the state he was trying to cover.

"When she wakes T'Mar will need to bathe her and all the monitors need to stay on her body unless she is submerged in water," the doctor said clearly. "The goal is to sustain the pregnancy for three more weeks when the child can be born with as few complications as possible."

Trip nodded his head absently.

"Until then, her movement must be limited, stress minimized, and her medication schedule strictly adhered to," the doctor explained. "T'Mar has all of my instructions."

"And if we can get to the three weeks…?" Trip inquired as he looked over the doctor's shoulder at a slowly rousing T'Pol.

"We won't really know anything until she gives birth," the doctor said honestly. "The pressure on her anatomy is enormous, and the baby was in a great deal of distress today. All of the tests I have run indicate no significant harm, but as the pregnancy continues that can change hour to hour."

Trip swallowed hard and nodded.

The doctor, unlike a human one, offered no further reassurance and merely left Trip with these last words hanging in the air as the room emptied and T'Pol looked toward him for information.

Trip walked toward T'Pol and sat gingerly on the bed next to her.

"The baby?" T'Pol asked as she placed her hands on her abdomen.

"He's fine, for now," Trip answered honestly. "He needs 3 more weeks of cooking, so we need to really take it easy."

T'Pol nodded and then looked at him confused.

"What?" Trip asked, concerned.

"Why are you wearing my robe?"

Trip chuckled and looked down at his chest exposed with lavender surrounding him.

"That's what you ask?"

"It's…unusual," T'Pol said.

"I'm sorry if you are sore from earlier," Trip said shyly.

"I am," T'Pol nodded. "But it was necessary. Our son is safe."

"Yeah but…well, you and he are still very much at risk," Trip confessed. "So…the monitors."

T'Pol looked at the monitor on her arm and the one strapped to her upper abdomen.

"I see," she said softly.

"So, no movement, structured medication schedule, no stress…and then in 3 weeks we'll meet our son," Trip explained.

"I feel him still, quite strong," T'Pol said as she met his eyes.

"I feel him too," Trip said as he placed a hand over her belly. "But darlin, if it's between him and you I'm choosing you."

"Charles, you cannot…"

"There will be no discussion of this," Trip said clearly. "I don't want to make that decision and, what I really want, is you and a healthy boy, but if I need to…I'm choosing you, T'Pol."

"I think that logically our son should…"

"Fuck logic," Trip said softly as he leaned into her. "The choice is difficult, but it's also easy. And that's the end of any discussion I'm interested in having. Let's get you cleaned up."

Trip left her side and ran a bath in the washroom down the hallway. For efficiency there was, generally, only one tub in a Vulcan household and this one was located next to T'Les' bedroom. Trip got the temperature warmer then most humans would like, but not as warm as T'Pol would enjoy. It was a reasonable compromise. He dismissed T'Mar to her room.

Trip took off T'Pol's robe and pulled the sheets and monitors from her body. He picked up her nude form and walked buck naked carrying her down to the tub. She wasn't to walk, so carrying was the only option. She couldn't be alone, so he or T'Mar needed to be with her. And she needed to get clean so getting into the tub with her would allow him to clean her up properly.

"Where is T'Mar?" T'Pol asked, concerned as Trip carried her toward the washroom.

"I told her to stay in her room until I ask for her," Trip said as he continued forward.

Just then the front door opened and a concerned T'Les called to her daughter and ran down the hallway almost bumping into Trip holding T'Pol.

He couldn't cover himself because he was holding T'Pol, so all Trip did was turn a blazing shade of crimson.

"Mother!" T'Pol exclaimed as she looked between her mother and Trip.

T'Les averted her eyes and looked out a nearby window as she spoke. "I was informed that you and he baby were in danger."

"They aren't any longer," Trip said. "But she needs to be more careful…which is why I'm carrying her."

"And clothes are no longer permitted?" T'Les asked sarcastically.

"We're getting in the tub," Trip said with a sigh. "She needs to get the blood off her."

T'Les then turned and saw the dried blood all over her daughter's legs.

"Oh," she sighed. "But you are both well."

"I went into premature labour but Charles, T'Mar, and the doctor stopped it," T'Pol said as she felt Charles shift her in his arms. "Charles needs to place me down."

"Of course, can I assist in any…?"

"We're fine," Trip said before he stepped around T'Les and headed toward the washroom, trying not to be self-conscious about his completely uncovered ass.

"You handled that well," T'Pol said as she heard him kick the door shut behind him.

"I think I'm still going on adrenaline darlin," Trip smiled at her. "Later on, today it'll hit me that your mom just saw me buck naked."

T'Pol nodded.

"So, let's get cleaned up," Trip said as he gingerly stepped into the hot bath and sat down with T'Pol in his arms. He took a cloth and some soap and washed down her body until the blood was all gone. Normally, he would have got more enjoyment from this task, but today he was putting all his energy into blocking his mind from hers. His reeling thoughts and worries were something she didn't need right now.

"Thank you," T'Pol said as she leaned back against his chest and relaxed.

"No problem," Trip said quietly. In his mind though, he knew that the next few weeks were going to be anything but easy.

XXX

TBC


	20. Chapter 20

**Author's Note: Please see notes in chapter 1.**

 **This is the last chapter of this story! Thank you so much for following it along the way. For those following my other stories, I'm going to get back to them now after my Vow break.**

 **I soooo enjoyed writing this little exploration of a scenario that I found intriguing. I hope you did as well. This story was never meant to be some epic exploration of their entire lives, just this portion. So, I hope I am not leaving you disappointed that we don't follow them for the years ahead.**

 **If you read it, please review it!**

 **Thank you so much for all your reviews (so far) and your commitment to this story and me as a writer. Lola**

XXX

Trip Tucker was more tired then he had been in a long time. The last two weeks of tending to T'Pol's every need and restlessly sleeping each night, waking up every hour to check on her, or worrying about her and their son throughout the day had taken its toll on him. He'd lost a good 4 kilos and T'Les kept commenting on his coarse and dry skin. He needed a break if he was ever going to be prepared when their son arrived…if their son arrived.

There had been one other false labour since the last one and, had it not been too dangerous to move T'Pol, she would have been in a hospital by now. So, instead they now had another nurse T'Lek who worked in conjunction with T'Mar. There was no privacy, no rest, no down time from everything and Trip needed just one night to himself. He felt inundated with equipment and people.

"You'll stay with her tonight?" Trip asked T'Lek as he dropped his duffle bag in the hallway.

"I have a cot I have placed at the foot of her bed, she will never be alone," T'Lek said with a nod.

"Thanks," Trip said quietly as he looked back down the hallway where his wife was residing. He could feel her just coming to after her nap.

Trip started toward their room feeling guilty for leaving her, cursing himself for his need for rest, and half wishing it was two nights not one that he was away. The guest cottage was still on her mother's property, but it was more like 70 feet away than the 50 he'd originally estimated. He was leaving now and anticipated that he would sleep for the next 18 hours. Hopefully, he would come back to her revitalized instead of even more tired.

Over the last two weeks he had tried to take naps with T'Pol but T'Les had informed him that the nurses felt uncomfortable walking into the room with both of them in bed. And, seeing as they had to come in to check on her, give her meds, or do a scan every hour, it only left him with forty-minute nap opportunities throughout the day. So, he'd tried to take naps in a nearby chair when she slept, but all that left him with was a very sore neck and very little rest. Then, at night, because the nurses were uncomfortable with him sleeping there and he couldn't sleep in anything more then his underwear because of the heat, Trip took over the night watch. Rising every hour to check her vitals or administer meds was not conducive to sleep.

T'Pol felt guilty, he felt slightly punchy, and none of the other Vulcans in the situation seemed to notice. He had finally, at T'Pol's urging, decided to take a night off and stay in the guest house; giving himself a break from all the commotion of her pregnancy.

Trip opened the door to their room and walked in expecting to see a nurse nearby.

"Where's T'Mar? Isn't it her shift?" Trip asked as he looked around.

"I asked her to get something for you," T'Pol said as she patted a spot on the bed nearby. "She'll just be a moment."

"I'm not sure about this," Trip said as he sat down heavily on the bed next to her. "It's better if I'm here because…"

"You need rest," T'Pol said assuredly.

"Yeah, but…"

"There has not been another incident in the last eight days," T'Pol said as she met his eyes. "My scans have all come back quite good and I will be cared for by two highly competent nurses that…"

"They aren't me," Trip said quietly.

T'Pol reached out and placed her hand over his.

"You need rest," she said quietly. "We will have enough to deal with when I go into labour. You will be of no assistance to me if you are unconscious."

Trip chuckled at her statement and placed his other hand over hers. "You sure about this?"

"I am," T'Pol nodded.

Trip leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips.

T'Mar chose that moment to walk inside and clear her throat at their public display of affection.

"I apologize T'Mar," T'Pol noted. "Do you have it?"

T'Mar walked toward Charles with a steaming cup.

"This will assist your sleep, relax you," T'Pol said as she nodded toward the mug T'Mar was holding.

"I think I'm tired enough to…"

"Please," T'Pol pleaded.

"Fine," Trip acquiesced.

"Drink it as soon as you arrive at the guest house," T'Pol said as she watched him slowly stand.

"Okay, boss lady," Trip chuckled.

He turned to T'Mar and took the cup from her, "You and T'Lek call me the second there's a change."

"We will," T'Mar nodded. "Or we will send T'Les out to get you."

"Immediately," Trip warned her.

"Immediately," T'Mar mimicked.

Trip nodded and walked toward the door with his steaming cup in hand.

"No having any baby for another 5 days," he warned T'Pol with a shake of his finger and a smile on his face.

"I will endeavor to prevent that," T'Pol agreed.

Ten minutes later, Trip found himself standing in the vestibule of the guest house. He took a sip of the tea, it burned his tongue, so he placed the cup down and took in the lay of the land. There was a living room, a very small kitchen, a washroom, and one small bedroom just big enough for one queen size bed. He knew, from T'Les, that it hadn't been used in years, but there wasn't a speck of dust on any surface in the entire home. Trip even noted that the environmental controls were set for human cool: a lovely 24 degrees Celsius. Perfect for sleeping.

He unpacked his few possessions, stripped down to his underwear, and crawled into the bed, falling asleep before his head probably even hit the pillow. Hours later, he rose to use the facilities and on his way back to the bedroom noted the mug of cooled tea still waiting for him. He should probably get some water instead, but he really just wanted to crawl back in bed, the tea would do fine. He downed the cold liquid and crawled back into his bed, again feeling sleep overtake him.

The next time he woke someone was shaking his shoulders. Trip tried to will his eyes open, but it felt as if something was weighing them down.

"Whaaaa?" Trip inquired, his mouth feeling like it was filled with rocks.

"You need to get up!" The voice of T'Les commanded. "We've been calling you and you were not picking up the comm."

"Whaaa?" Trip asked again, as he felt sleep start to take a hold of him again.

"She's in labour and the doctor's said it cannot be stopped this time!" T'Les said loudly. "What's the matter with you?!"

Trip drifted off to sleep again.

Moments later he felt a harsh and fierce slap across his face.

"Charles!" T'Les yelled. "She needs you. She's been calling for you."

"Who?" Trip asked as he attempted to roll away from her.

"T'Pol!" T'Les said as she stripped down the sheet and started to push him off the bed.

"Why are you…?" Trip started and then stopped, unsure of what he was going to say next. He then fell onto the floor with a thump and his eyes finally opened.

"What the hell?!" Trip snapped as he shook his head from side to side unable to get his bearings.

"Did you take any drugs? Drink any alcohol?" T'Les asked as she flipped him over to face her.

"No," Trip said as he slowly and carefully sat up. His whole body felt like lead and his eyes wanted to close. "Just the tea T'Pol gave me."

"What tea?" T'Les asked as she left the room to get him a glass of water.

"It's in the hallway," Trip called, his mouth still feeling full of marbles. "What did you say about T'Pol?"

"She's in labour," T'Les said as she returned to his room and handed him a glass of water.

"What?!" Trip snapped, suddenly fully aware, it seemed.

He tried to stand, but couldn't get his feet underneath him and merely flopped back onto the floor.

"This tea?" T'Les asked as she smelled the cup she had brought in from the hallway.

"Yeah, what's wrong with my legs?!" Trip asked as he tried to stand again and found himself crawling onto the bed. His legs wouldn't listen to him and his whole body screamed that it just wanted to go back to sleep.

"The tea was to help you sleep, you drank it as soon as you arrived?" T'Les asked, ignoring his question.

"No, not until I woke up to…to relieve myself," Trip answered, still fumbling to try and stand. "I have to get to T'Pol, I…"

"It was cold?" T'Les asked, surprised.

"Yeah," Trip said as she braced his upper body with his arms and tried to get his legs to co-operate. "What the hell is wrong with my legs?!"

"You aren't supposed to drink it cold, it can cause temporary paralysis," T'Les said as she looked between him and the mug. "And severe deep sleep"

"I didn't know that!" Trip snapped at her, his body flopping on the bed and his eyes trying to shut again.

"You must get to her," T'Les said as she looked about the room and, finding some sweat pants started to roughly dress him. "It make be several hours before the paralysis lifts."

"I can…" Trip started to yank them from her.

"There's no time!" T'Les said annoyed as she pulled them up to his waist. She looked down at him bare-chested and sighed, it would have to do. The others would understand because of the emergency.

"Can you give me something that will counter act the…the tea or whatever the fuck it is," Trip said as he lay there being dressed like a child.

T'Les didn't even answer him and merely threw him over her shoulder and carried him in a fireman's hold out of the bedroom.

"This is incredibly dignified," Trip mumbled. He tried to reach out to T'Pol across their bond and felt nothing. He wasn't sure if she was blocking, or it was the drugged tea she gave him, but nothing was there.

She marched from the guest house to the main house and it was as they got closer Trip heard the screaming.

"Oh my god!" He gasped as he heard T'Pol yelling like he'd never heard her yell before.

T'Les walked him straight into the bedroom and Trip got a sense of the commotion around her. The nurses were running around, there was the male voice of her doctor speaking across the room and someone on a video screen speaking Vulcan. T'Les unceremoniously dropped him on the bed next to T'Pol and Trip clamored toward her.

"Darlin," Trip sighed as he used all his upper body strength to get as close to her as possible. "How are you?"

T'Pol immediately reached out and grabbed his hand squeezing it tightly. Trip winced in pain and looked at her face closely. She was sweating profusely and breathing in short bursts. Her knees were bent, and her legs clamped tightly together.

"T'Pol, when did this happen?" Trip asked.

She just shook her head, unable to formulate words. More sweat broke out over her forehead. He rode out the pain with her and as soon as it seemed to lessen, dropped her hand and slid up a little higher. Using all his strength, shimmied himself behind her so he could use his upper body to support her as she grunted and yelled.

"Doc?!" Trip called the doctor who seemed to be discussing something with the other doctor on the video screen.

"Mr. Tucker, I'll just be a moment," the doctor dismissed him.

Trip reached around and wiped T'Pol's brow with a sheet and braced her shoulders as she screamed and seemed to push against him. T'Mar brought some water to T'Pol's mouth and made her drink some.

"T'Pol, darlin, you're doing great…T'Les, how long has she been like this?" Trip yelled across the room to her mother. She was standing in the corner of the room looking concerned and worried.

T'Les just stared at him blankly.

"T'Les!" Trip snapped as T'Pol grabbed his hand again and squeezed incredibly tight. There was a 'snap' and he felt one of his fingers break. He could also feel the sweat from her drenched nightgown against his bare chest as T'Pol pushed her back against him.

Once T'Pol seemed to relax, Trip turned his attention back to T'Les who just shook her head and walked from the room.

"What the fuck?" Trip asked under his breath as he watched the doctor across the room ignoring his wife.

"Doc!" Trip called to him again.

The doctor gave Trip a dismissive glare and went back to his conversation with the doctor on the screen.

"Am I the only one who understands that this baby is about to come out?" Trip whispered into T'Pol's ear.

She grunted and shook her head vigorously from side to side, still no words were coming from her mouth.

Trip kissed the side of her face and grasped her knees firmly and opened them with all his might.

T'Pol screamed and then seemed to lunge forward even more with Trip still holding onto her knees.

Just then T'Lek walked toward them.

"How far along is she?" Trip asked T'Lek.

"Vulcan children take days to birth, T'Pol is only two hours into…"

"She's been like this for two hours?!" Trip snapped.

T'Pol was screaming in pain and pushing back against him. After the latest bout of pain, Trip noticed that she was shivering profusely. Probably from the sweat-drenched nightgown covering her body.

"T'Lek, get her a fresh nightgown!" Trip screamed as he pulled the sweaty garment up her body and raised it over her head, dropping it to the ground in a heap.

"Ahhhhh!" T'Pol screamed as she pushed back against him so forcefully he thought she may drive him into the headboard behind them.

"Love, you are going to be…"

Just then, Trip noticed the look of horror cross T'Mar's face as she looked toward them. She screamed something in Vulcan and dropped the bowl she was carrying. The scream and the crash seemed to jar everyone else in the room that was ignoring them and they all looked toward the couple on the bed. Trip's hands holding her knees, her naked body braced against him, and the guttural screaming that she was engaged in.

The doctor ran to the bed with the two nurses screaming directions in Vulcan.

"What?!" Trip demanded.

More Vulcan directions were yelled.

T'Pol screamed again, louder than the last time and pushed so hard against him that he smacked his head against the headboard of their bed.

"The baby is coming," the doctor told Trip as he leaned in toward T'Pol.

"I know that!" Trip snapped.

More Vulcan directions were given.

"How's she doing?" Trip asked as he pushed some wet hair out of T'Pol's eyes.

T'Pol then screamed again and, instead of pushing back, pushed down with all her might and the bed seemed to dip.

It was then that the doctor leaned in completely and Trip heard a gasp from everyone around him.

"What?!" Trip gasped. "What?!"

T'Pol collapsed against him like a wet noodle and he wrapped his arms around her torso to keep her from flopping down.

Just then there was the gurgled cry of a baby filling the room. Trip pushed forward and looked between T'Pol's legs. There laying in the doctor's hands was a small baby. Their son. He was little, very little. But he seemed to be breathing on his own.

"Oh my god!" Trip gasped and laughed at the same time. "T'Pol…T'Pol look."

He felt her head raise up slightly.

"Do you see him?" Trip asked as he watched his son with glee.

The doctor inspected the baby and placed his fingers on the child's temple for a moment before he looked at T'Pol and nodded.

"He's okay?" Trip whispered to T'Pol.

She nodded and observed her son closely. "He's healthy."

"Thank god," Trip gasped before he messily kissed the side of her face.

They sat in silence while the baby was placed to the side and T'Pol delivered the after-birth. T'Mar continued to run scans on their son as the proud parents looked at him.

"He has your nose, Trip," T'Pol said softly as she placed her hand over his; he was still absently holding her torso.

"He does," Trip chuckled. "And your ears."

T'Pol nodded and turned her head to kiss him softly on the lips. "Our son."

"Our boy," Trip smiled back.

"His breathing is good and his reflexes strong," the doctor told the parents as he cleared away the afterbirth.

Just then T'Les walked into the room and looked at the child still resting between T'Pol's legs. There was brown blood everywhere, her daughter was completely naked, her mate without a shirt with his hands wrapped under her breasts and they were cuddling and kissing quite emotionally in front of everyone.

"He's alive?" T'Les asked, deciding now was not the time to reproach her daughter for her emotional and physical displays.

"And in good health," T'Lek said enthusiastically.

The doctor handed the baby to T'Mar to wipe off, he cried through the entire process and Trip found himself laughing with glee at each hiccup or gurgle. Somehow, despite all the odds, their son had been born early, but healthy. And T'Pol, who was currently being laser stitched, was also alive and well. Trip thanked every god he knew for his blessings.

Once the baby was cleared and T'Pol's stitching complete, the baby was handed to her, wrapped in an old blanket.

"Shouldn't he be in something new and clean?" Trip asked T'Pol.

"It's Vulcan tradition that each member of a household is wrapped in traditional blankets passed down through generations. This blanket has first wrapped five generations of people from my family."

"Oh, then, that's good he's got it," Trip stammered as he ran a finger along his son's cheek.

"He will need to be fed soon," the doctor instructed as T'Mar tried to take the baby from T'Pol and slide a nightgown over her head.

T'Pol refused to hand over the child she had just brought into this world.

"Just leave it, she's fine," Trip said as he swatted away the gown and instead gestured toward some clean sheets sitting on the side table. One was handed to him and he draped it over her lower half for propriety sake.

"He's perfect," T'Pol said with a sigh.

"Slightly under weight and some mucus still needs to clear from his lungs…" the doctor amended.

"His eyes are your colour," T'Pol said as she looked toward Trip.

"They are," Trip smirked.

"His skin is the colour of the sand on Mercuio," T'Pol said as she ran a finger along their son's neck.

"I hadn't thought about that place in a long time, I guess it sorta is," Trip said softly.

T'Pol looked toward him and gave him a soft, private, smile.

He looked at her confused for a moment and then felt their bond suddenly open again.

"What the…?" Trip gasped.

Suddenly, he was inundated with images of them together at the start of their relationship, when they fell in love, their wedding, their honeymoon…

"Oh my god!" He gasped.

"Trip…" T'Pol said softly.

"T'Pol?" He asked, both scared and elated at once.

"It's me," she said simply before he lunged forward and kissed her thoroughly.

The baby started to mew in her arms and they pulled apart.

"It's you? My T'Pol?" Trip asked, his eyes wide and his voice scratchy.

"Yes, my t'hy'la, it's me," T'Pol chuckled softly, her eyes darting about in hopes no one was noticing her lapses in control. "I'm so sorry for everything that has…"

She didn't finish because he kissed her again, hard on the lips. She was back, her memories returned and they were a family. In that moment, Trip had everything he ever wanted or needed.

XXX

THE END


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